I met Yaw when I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. My first marriage had been falling apart and I had been on the verge of a mental breakdown.
I’d suffered from panic attacks, anxiety, depression… Who has experienced it, knows how hard it is to get up every morning and force yourself to live a life that is more or less normal and in absolute conflict with everything you feel within yourself.
Yaw and me had seen each other more or less sporadically, most of the time within some social event. At that time it wouldn’t ever come to my mind that he’d be the future father of my children. Not just because of what I was going through at that time, but though I always found Yaw a great man, I’d never thought of him in ‘that’ way. Until that day which started as any other day but in the end turned my life by 180 degrees. It happened when I was a couple of months after the divorce and it was totally unexpected, but it instantly clicked in the right places and I understood very soon that he was the One.
When we had been arranging our first date, Yaw invited me to his nephew’s wedding. Many of our our friends didn’t get this step, but I found that idea totally natural. I accepted the invitation of course, despite the fact that at that time I was having a serious crowd issues and the idea of talking to someone I didn’t know was rather horrific to me.
After several weeks of our relationship we were talking about a common future, children and it was the most natural thing in the world. I had never experienced a similar feeling before, but this was simply Yaw – nothing was too quick or strange. Everything was totally natural and right. One day, after not even two months of our relationship, we decided to start to work on children right away. Not that we were in a rush, it was simply a natural impulse. I knew this was the father of my children, and he knew I was the mother of his. Besides, we knew it might take years to “get lucky”, so we simply left it free and decided to leave the timing to fate.
Of course, we haven’t expected it to time it for the first possible opportunity. Not even a month after the mentioned event we’d found out I was pregnant. It was a shock (especially in terms of timing), but we managed and made it to the wonderful life for the four of us to be.
Yaw had been very supportive from the beginning and now I know that without him I wouldn’t be where I am today. When we met I was a walking physical and emotional zombie, but it’s Yaw’s credit that I was able to stand on my own two feet again. Thanks to him I started to be happy for the first time in my life. Thanks to him I managed to fight through the crisis months in the role as a new Mum. I’ll never stop giving thanks to God, fate, greater power – let’s call it whatever you want – for having him by my side.
One thing I happened to realise later on in life is how extremely important it is to have the right partner beside you. Of course, not only when children are involved, but especially then. It’s true that the way you handle your role as a Mum depends to significant extent on what partner you have by your side. Please do not feel that I am alienating any single mothers because if you are doing this by yourself you are amazing and definitely a heroine in my eyes. I can only view this from my personal experience.
In the past I’d thought that the right partner is the one you love unconditionally and have magnificent feelings for – and that was usually it. As though (as long as you feel something special) it wasn’t as important what he feels and how he behaves towards you. As if you could feel something this special only once in a lifetime. Today I don’t think this anymore. I believe that the right partner is the one, by whom love and this special feeling is mutual. It is the one who loves you with all his being and for whom you are the most important person in the world. Of course, you can’t experience something like this with anyone, but I also don’t think it’s our fate to experience it with only one specific person. If the attraction, humour and common values meet at the right time and in the right place, you have the basic building material, on which (if there is the will) you can build a whole magnificent skyscraper.
I was lucky to start a family with the right one. Yaw does more than his fair share for the family, in every way. Sometimes I can’t believe how he can handle it all. He gets up early every morning just to help me with the boys. He wakes up at night if they need something just so I could relax after a busy day. Whenever I need to reboot my brain outside the house, he stays with them. When I feel like I cannot handle it anymore, he can support me and help me to see things in a different light. When I am grumpy after a hard day, he understands. And he has never ever indicated or implied that the help he gives bothers him or that he has a problem with any of it. I appreciate it more than he realises.
I wish all the best to all future mums to also have a quantum of support and love in your partner because you deserve it more than anyone else. But please remember that if you are alone at the moment, You are that special person and never forget that! 🙂