What are the benefits of talking (especially when feeling down)
Do you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and/or feelings?
I believe it won’t be anything new for you when I advise you to talk about it. Especially when these thoughts/feelings can significantly impact your mental health. Especially when you are a new mum dealing with feelings of sadness, failure, overwhelm, loneliness, isolation… Talking is undoubtedly the best thing you can do.
The reason is simple. Talking can literally save you.
It saved me and it saved a lot of other mums out there.
In the post What should I do when feeling depressed I talk about this matter in more detail, so please make sure you read it if you haven’t already.
What you could also find beneficial are my workshops I organise in June this year for both expectant parents and new parents. At these workshops, you will learn the secrets to parenthood that most new parents find out too late and that will give you a lot of useful information about life after the baby arrives as well as postnatal mental health. Please click here for more information.
Now, I know that it is not easy to talk about our feelings and perhaps even harder about what’s going on in our heads. Especially when you deal with feelings of failure, sadness, or regret or when you don’t bond with your baby…
Yeah, definitely not easy to talk about it.
It often takes time or/and a bit of help in order to do so.
That’s why I put together a few benefits that talking can give you. Hopefully, this will serve as a kind of encouragement and motivation to open up if you need one right now.
1. It lifts an enormous weight off our shoulders
Sounds like such a cliche, but I was truly taken aback at the relief I experienced after I first opened up. And frankly, I couldn’t understand why I had waited for so long and hadn’t spoken out earlier.
I know it can feel like the hardest thing to do but once you do it, it feels like the easiest thing ever.
I believe it is mostly fear of reactions of others that often stops us from talking in the first place. But trust me, in most cases this fear is totally groundless.
2. It connects you with other people on a deeper level
Talking openly about how I really felt in my new role as a mum brought a greater connection with other people.
To my astonishment, some of my “old” friends did not show the kind of understanding and support I had expected from them. And on the other hand, some people I barely knew at the time blew me away with their attitude and proved nothing but brilliant and supportive during the most difficult time.
Being honest and open always brings new, amazing things into your life as well as the support from the directions you would not expect in the least.
3. It helps you to see things in a (new) light
Talking lets you see many things in a brand new perspective and often reveals various connections you did not see before.
And if you are lucky enough to talk to someone who offers you a bit of good advice, you benefit twice as much.
Consequently, even the biggest problem of yours does not seem so big anymore.
6. It frees up space for different emotions
This one is rather logic. If you want to feel better – if you want to let in different, positive emotions, you need to get rid of the “bad ones” first.
Talking can make you feel like a huge balloon has popped. The more intense the feeling, you realise long you have repressed these emotions. When you talk, you feel a huge pressure being released from your body and mind. And suddenly, there is a space for new emotions to come in.
Of course, it does not mean that positive feelings automatically follow. It simply means you free up some space for something new.
7. It opens new doors you did not even know existed
This one slightly relates to point number two where I talk about the deeper connection with other people when opening up.
Surely, this fact itself is a great thing to experience in your life.
However, it does not end there. Here are a few things I never would have experienced if it wasn’t for talking:
I’ve met new, like-minded people
I got to experience new, great things
I got closer to my higher Self
Relationships in my life improved
I’ve helped and supported other parents
The list is almost endless.
Talking never ends there. If you follow the way it opens for you, you can get to places (literally and metaphorically speaking) you have never dreamt of getting to.
9. It always leads to something bigger
When you talk to someone, the other person will more likely react, in one way or another.
And whatever they say or do, will always lead somewhere bigger.
Let’s say you decide to talk about your feelings or problems to a stranger on the street. It might be what they say, but it also might be something in their look, in their eyes, in their charisma, in their tone or in their body language that gives you some message… A message that might give you hope, an idea, a realisation of something… This idea or realisation then also leads somewhere… Maybe even takes you in a different direction…
What I’m saying is that talking to someone always leads somewhere bigger and is never just a simple exchange of information.
8. It can save you
In the grand scheme of things, talking can actually save you.
Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, it saved me and it has saved a lot of other people.
I was literally falling apart at the time I started to talk and I don’t even want to imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t.
If you should remember only one benefit from this post, please remember this one.
Talking can save you.
In countless ways.