Fathers are parents too

Another Father’s day is here and for us, it’s the third one as a family. Wow, really?

This occasion (as well as many others) made me think about dads’ roles in the world of parenting.

Can’t help thinking as though dad’s role as such was often somewhat forgotten about… And what is even worse – as though it was normal this way! As if it was a mother alone who deserves all the credit.

Now, don’t get me wrong,  I am not taking anything away from strong mothers who also work or mothers who have an extremely difficult job of parenting roles (Absolutely amazing by the way! Never forget that).

I am also not some kind of supernatural species, or that ‘woman of every man’s dreams’ waiting for my husband every day with a smile on my face and warm dinner on a table, handing him a remote and letting him chill for an hour in front of the TV. In silence, without me talking to him – of course.

I too go crazy when he dares to say he needs to sit down after he gets home. (although he hasn’t mentioned it for a while now. Wonder why! ). Or – and this one is especially irritating as I am probably expected to be thankful for it – when he gets home and the first thing he does is start washing the dishes!

But despite all this, I know and am fully aware that it is not easy for him either.

That said, let’s try to put ourselves in our partner’s shoes for a while.

They go to work every day to help provide for the family. In a number of cases, they are the only ones bringing finance to the household which puts huge pressure on them. They know that if anything happens to them, it would put their whole family in an extremely distressing position.

If your world is both of you raising your children, then remember we do not lose by giving/acknowledging what fathers do.

They go to work every day and often come back home to the madness and a stressed wife. Often they don’t get any break until the kids are sound asleep, which – let’s be honest – can take a while to happen.

I am sure you will agree that this is not easy nor stressfree at all.

As much as I find motherhood role extremely challenging at times, I think we should give much more credit to fathers, especially to those who despite our ‘not always the most pleasant mood’ always keep supporting and helping us to make both our lives easier. Which is what we both need as a unit to meet the challenges of parenting.

Of course, there are fathers who don’t feel the need to be involved in parenting at all or not the same extent as others, but that’s a whole different story and this post is dedicated to those who do.

I often hear people compare father’s and mother’s roles, but I believe there’s no point trying to work out whose role is generally harder or easier. Neither of us has it easy, we both have challenges to deal with.

It’s definitely not right to think that fathers should not be involved in parenting duties, but at the same time, it is not right to think fathers have it easy and doesn’t go through any stress.

Fathers are equal parents and shouldn’t be treated like parenting invalids or like secondary figures in their kids’ lives. We need to show them they too have a place in the world of parenting.

Parenthood is hard for mothers and fathers, but once we recognize that we’re in it together, only then can we start building the right parenting model for our children.

So here’s to all dads out there  – we may don’t show it often, which is, to our defense, mainly caused by the lack of time or total absence of any energy, but please know that you are amazing and that we do appreciate your support much more than you ever know and that it means the world to us. Without you, things would be wat much harder and difficult. You no doubt make our lives way much easier and we honestly couldn’t wish for better dads for our children.

Love you always. x

Don’t let your past steal your life

I’ve been through a lot during my life. My childhood was tough, my parents got divorced when I was only five, I went through some bad relationships and through a divorce. I suffered major depression and anxiety (which still lasts), I lost a baby…

And yet, when I talk to other people and listen to their stories, it feels like mine is not very unique.

Do you know what I mean?

Every person on this planet has their story. And no one has a purely easy life.

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Mum of twins: A casual day with my boys

It is 12 pm and I have just got back from a toddler playgroup. Shattered and in pain. (Both physical and mental, although I am not sure which one is worse).

Peculiarly, this state has given me a fresh inspiration for a new post and share with you at least a vague idea of what a twin mum usually has to go through every single day.

Understandably, I cannot include every single thing every twin mum has to face each day, because this post would be neverending plus every mum’s routine and days differ by all means.

But what I can describe is how it looks in our case.

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Don’t let your child tear your relationship apart

Have you realised lately that you have not been talking to your partner about anything but the daily life? Did you use to have lots of fun together and now you cannot remember last time you had a laugh? Have you found yourself stuck in a place you promised yourself you would never be?
Trust me, it is not just you. Many couples slide into a certain monotony after they become parents. And then it is only up them whether they allow this monotony to challenge their relationship or to slowly kill it. 
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Christmas holidays with children

We have passed the second Christmas and New Year’s Eve with our boys!

The first Christmas holidays with them I was looking forward to it as a little girl. The first Christmas dinner together, children’s Christmas clothes, unpacking gifts… With Yaw we agreed that boys had to get something that makes a sound. At that time, we did not really care what kind of sound that would be, however, in these things it is better to be picky. As a parent, you have to count on hearing this sound for the next few weeks and hours in a day. 😉

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What are the pros of having twins?

As a mum of twins, I am daily confronted with different reactions of people, especially women. On the street, in a shop, in different groups, on the walk… However, in my case, not everyone recognise they are twins.

Although their faces are similar, the big difference especially with their hair and size. My answer to people’s question of how old they are is usually followed by the next question: “And the other one?” When I tell them ‘they’re twins!’ they usually open their mouths and stare as if I’d told them they’re mutants. It even happened twice that a lady on the street asked me: “But they are not both yours, are they?”

It is definitely more pleasant when someone asks: “Are they twins?” Even with such a formulated question, you can still feel the uncertainty, but compared to previous examples, there is at least a glimpse of hope someone sees them as twins. And both as mine!

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