I sit on my seat by the window in a packed train fighting the wave of anxiety that is tirelessly trying to get to me. For those who do not know this about me, I suffer from an anxiety disorder. Oh, and also claustrophobia. (But not to worry, I also have a great sense of humour, so it balances it out.)
And when I say I sit by the window,… Well, the window actually takes up only about 40 % of the space next to me. The rest of my view is just something big, plastic and totally useless.
I look at the guy next to me who made it clear just a minute ago that he would not swap a seat. Perhaps that is why I don’t really feel like confessing I suffer mental issues, so I let him enjoy his blind victory and close my eyes in a hope that the tension in my heart will pass.
Continue reading “How to stop being afraid to talk about your mental issues”
I know you feel overwhelmed with everything that is going on now. You could not wait to have your babies and now that they are here, you are not sure that it is what you wanted. I know you are astonished by your own feelings and emotions. I know you don’t feel the love you expected to be feeling. I know you doubt your decision about having children. I know you desperately want your life back. I know you feel stuck. And I know that you feel incredibly guilty for feeling this way.
Continue reading “Things that I would say to the old ‘Me’ while experiencing PND”
The term ‘postnatal depression’ can be confusing. New mums go through a variety of feelings and often are in that emotional tangle not sure whether they suffer from depression or not. The Internet is full of professional definitions, but many times these would not help identify when it really is depression.
Continue reading “How do you know you have postnatal depression?”
Perhaps every mother who has been through depression at least for a certain period of time has a feeling that they have had to hide it from others. I was not an exception. I often ask myself why and still come to the conclusion that it was simply a subconscious reflex of my mind. I had the impression that something was wrong with me and that people would judge me for my feelings.
Continue reading “Why do we pretend happiness when feeling depressed?”
I’ll never forget the moment when I was looking at my few days old children and tears were falling down my face. However, it wasn’t the tears of joy, it was the the tears of regret. Regret that we’d wanted to have them and regret about my future.
Continue reading “What should I do when feeling depressed?”