I’m sure you’ll agree with me that being a mother can be pretty hard sometimes. It doesn’t really matter if you have one child, twins or five children. Each one of us has days when we feel on the edge.
Like probably every future mother, I was also conscientiously preparing for the arrival of my children. I read a lot, I asked, I listened … However, when they came into this world, I felt like I didn’t know anything at all.
In the second trimester I started to sense a connection with other mums. It was as if I had entered another parallel world that is accessible and understandable exclusively by mothers. And I hadn’t left it since. Never before had I been given an option to take a look into this world, therefore it was as if a gate to a different galaxy opened in front of me. Previously, when my eyes met another mum’s eyes, I didn’t feel anything special. Maybe just the realisation of how different lives we had lived. However, when my eyes meet another mum’s eyes now, I sense a strong connection and an exchange of a secret signal, that says: “We know… :)”. We know we both belong to that mysterious club.
I’ll never forget the moment when I was looking at my few days old children and tears were falling down my face. However, it wasn’t the tears of joy, it was the the tears of regret. Regret that we’d wanted to have them and regret about my future.
As a mum of twins I am daily confronted with different reactions of people, especially women. On the street, in a shop, in different groups, on the walk… However, in my case not everyone recognise they are twins.
I can’t count how many times before picturing the moment when two lines appear on the pregnancy test … I was expecting it to be the most joyful moment in my life. However, the reality…?
I met Yaw when I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. My first marriage had been falling apart and I had been on the verge of a mental breakdown.