Am I a Good Mum? 13 Signs You're Doing Better Than You Think

Last Updated on September 7, 2026 by Ivana Poku

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Am I a good mum?”, this post is for you.

Hey, lovely one!

Do you ever lie awake wondering if you’re doing enough for your kids?

Or feel like as a good mum, you should do everything “perfectly”?

Stop right there!

Because the truth is that a perfect mum isn’t only unrealistic, she’d probably be the most boring mum ever!

You will:

lose your patience sometimes
make a lot of mistakes
have days when you want to run away

And that’s all OK. It’s a normal part of being a mum.

Frankly, if you’re asking yourself, “Am I a good mum?”, it’s because you care about getting it right. And that’s a pretty good place to start! 🙂

In this post, I’ll share 13 signs you’re a good mum or mom – even if you don’t feel like one.

But first hello!

I’m Ivana, a mum of three boys (including twins), the founder of MumsJourney, and author of Motherhood: The Unspoken, on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen and supported.

In this post I share:

How to know if you’re a good mum
13 everyday signs you’re doing better than you think
How to be a good mum without trying to be perfect

Ready?

Let’s begin.

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Table of Contents

What makes someone a good mum?

This isn’t just a nice sentiment.

Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott came up with the idea of the “good enough parent”. His theory was that children don’t need “perfect” parents – they need parents who are there for them, love them, and do their best.

It may sound like a cliche, but it’s so true!

I always say that a good mum isn’t someone who gets everything right or never makes a mistake.

If this was the case, then no mum on this planet would be a good mum.

If you love your children and care for them, you’re already doing a LOT right!

Everything else is usually just a noise you’ve learned to believe along the way.

Am I a good mum?

I believe that deep down, you know you’re doing a great job.

But over the years, you may have learned to listen to your inner critic more than your own intuition.

That’s what makes you feel like you’re falling short even when you’re really not.

There is no book of rules you need to master to pass for a “good mum”.

It’s about the small, everyday things you do without even thinking.

The things that may feel ordinary to you, but mean everything to your children.

If you’re reading this post, I am here to tell you that you ARE an amazing mum your children are lucky to have!

How Can I Be a Good Mum?

This is what many mums get wrong. And can get stuck in the loop.

Being a good mum doesn’t mean that you:

have to be patient, calm and have “right” reactions all the time
cook perfectly balanced meals
organise impressing birthday parties
or make every day magical

Being a good mum is MUCH simpler than that.

I don’t know about you but my best childhood memories are the ones where I saw my parents laughing! Those moments made me feel safer and happier more than any gift or “perfect” day.

There are many things you do every day that are proof you’re an amazing mum.

Here are 13 of them:

You make your home feel safe
You make mistakes
You show up for your kids, even on tough days
You laugh with them
You make mistakes and learn from them
You love your children
You show patience
You ask for help or advice
You take care of yourself
You worry about your children
You celebrate their wins
You work – of you don’t
You manage everything your family needs

And if you’re thinking, “But I don’t do all of these!” – please don’t panic.

You don’t have to!

This isn’t about ticking every box, it’s about doing the best you can with the resources you have available in the moment.

Now, let’s look at each of these signs in a little more detail.

13 Signs You’re a Good Mum

These are some of the everyday signs that you’re doing better than you think:

1. You make your home feel safe

Not perfect or squeaky clean at all times – but safe.

That’s what your children need the most. (Although it’s easy to forget that when we get caught up chasing the “perfect mum” bar.)

Your kids know that when anything goes wrong, they can come to you.

That’s not something every child has.

See how great you are already? (And we’re just starting out.)

Your children feel safe because of you.

That kind of safety doesn’t just happen.

You built it.

2. You make a mistakes

Everybody makes mistakes. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be real – and therefore, not a very good mum either!

I see mistakes as learning opportunities on my journey. Without them, you wouldn’t learn anything new, and you wouldn’t grow as a mum or as a person.

So if you make them, good for you!

The key is to learn from them and apologise when the situation requires it. For instance, when you do or say something you later regret.

When you talk to your children about it and apologise, you give them so much more than a perfect mum ever could.

Just remember, there’s a difference between a genuine apology when you’ve made a mistake, and apologising for everything, all the time. If that’s you, make sure to also read my post 5 Signs You’re Over-Apologising as a Mum.

3. You show up for your kids on tough days

Let’s be honest, some mum days are about pure survival.

But you keep going. You show up. I’m not sure you realise how big that is.

Celebrate the “small” wins (they’re not so small, after all).

Even getting everyone dressed and fed counts big time.

4. You laugh with your kids

You make silly faces at breakfast…

You tell funny stories…

You dance like a goofball in the kitchen…

Maybe you play a ridiculous game or do peek-a-boo just to see them laugh…

Every laugh you create is a little spark of joy your kids feel.

Laughter isn’t just fun, it’s a real superpower.

It shows your kids that life can be light, even when the outside world feels stressful.

It teaches them it’s okay to be silly, and have fun… and that it doesn’t stop with childhood.

And here’s the bonus: when you laugh with them, they LOVE it!

They love to see you laugh as much as you love to see them.

I still remember how happy I felt seeing my parents laugh.

Those moments are truly my most precious childhood memories.

5. You learn from your parenting mistakes

You think, “Did I handle that well?” or “Could I have been more patient?”

The fact that you notice your mistakes is actually a HUGE positive.

It means you’re growing as a person, and as a mum.

That inner voice that says, “Hey, maybe there’s a better way to handle this next time.” is your internal compass helping you reflect, grow, and become an even better mum.

6. You love your children

This one seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many children don’t feel that love.

There are toys everywhere, snacks on the floor, tantrums in stereo, and you feel like screaming and running away…

And yet… your love doesn’t vanish.

Love isn’t always about saying “I love you” or hugs.

Sometimes it’s cutting the crusts off, or sitting next to them, holding their hand, or watching the same movie for the 47th time without complaining.

That’s love.

And no matter how hard the day gets – even after the worst tantrum, the rudest moment, the most exhausting bedtime – you still look at them and feel it.

How magical is that??

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7. You seek help or advice

Let’s be honest – reading posts like this, asking friends for tips, or talking to professionals means you’re an amazing mum.

You’re not pretending you’ve got it all figured out.

You care enough to get better.

That’s amazing!!

Many mums don’t bother.

When you seek help, it also teaches your children that asking for help is a natural part of life – and that you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) do life alone.

8. You take care of yourself too

You don’t need to do yoga on a mountaintop or have a fancy self care routine.

Whenever you go for a short walk, take three deep breaths, or take a moment to sit down while your children play… that’s all self care, and it matters.

Taking care of yourself shows your kids that looking after yourself is important.

And the best part is that the more you recharge, the more amazing you become as a mum.

If you struggle to come up with self care ideas, I think you’ll love my FREE Self Care Guide for Busy Mums! It contains simple, proven tips you can apply today – even if you have zero time.

9. You worry about your children

You worry about school, friends, what they’re eating, if they’re happy… all of it.

And that worry is actually a huge sign you’re a great mum.

A mum who doesn’t care doesn’t lose sleep over this stuff.

You do.

You’re in their world, heart and soul.

10. You celebrate their (small) wins

You are their biggest fan!

And your cheer them even for things that many people woudn’t even notice.

For instance, when they finally ride their bike without training wheels, colour a picture without scribbling all over the page, or tie their shoes for the first time…

Kids LOVE praise.

It makes them feel capable, seen, and really proud of themselves.

11. You make sacrifices

Sometimes you sacrifice your sleep, a hot coffee, or your time… or all of it!

These sacrifices are tangible ways you show your kids you love and care about them.

And it sticks with them far longer than you think.

But here’s the thing: balance is everything.

Sacrifice when you need to, of course – but don’t erase your own needs completely.

Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your children – and it shows them how to love, respect, and value themselves too.

12. You work – or you don’t

Whether you’re a stay at home mum (SAHM) or a working mum, both are super impressive!

Think about it:

When you work, you show them that mums can have careers, dreams, goals and interests outside of motherhood.

And when you stay at home, you show them that looking after a family, running a home and being there for your children is valuable work too.

There is no prize for doing one over the other!

You are making the choice that works for your family, your circumstances and your life – and you teaching your kids do the same in the future.

You’re teaching them to be confident in their choices and that there is no single right or wrong way to live your life.

13. You manage everything your family needs

As a mum, you’re basically running a tiny empire.

Morning routines, school runs, shopping, cooking, bedtime, dentist appointments, PE kits, remembering which friend they’ve fallen out with this week… maybe work on top of all that too.

Your family runs the way it does because of you.

And that’s worth saying out loud.

In case you hadn’t realised it by now – you’re doing a LOT, and you’re doing it bloody well.

Does Making Mistakes Make You a Bad Mum?

No!

Making mistakes does NOT make you a bad mum. Mistakes are a natural part of life. And as a mum, you’re going to make plenty of them:

You’ll lose it
You’ll shout
You’ll say the wrong thing
You’ll sometimes wish you’d handled a situation differently

That’s all okay!

You’re learning to be a mum every day, and that will never stop.

Your job isn’t to avoid mistakes. It’s what you do after you make one.

Do you apologise?
Do you reflect on what happened?
Do you learn from it?

Those are the moments that can teach your children some of the most important lessons about life!

So instead of treating mistakes as proof that you’re failing, try seeing them as opportunities to learn and grow.

Because that’s what they really are!

Why So Many Mums Wonder “Am I a Good Mum?”

Being a mum is hard.

And your children matter a lot to you.

So of course you worry about getting it right.

You might think things like, “Did I handle that well?” or “Was I too strict?” or “Am I doing enough?”

I truly believe all mums have these thoughts at times.

But those thoughts don’t mean you’ve done something wrong.

They simply mean you love your children very much.

And that’s already a pretty bulletproof sign you’re doing an incredible job.

Final thoughts

There you have it!

13 signs you’re not only a good mum, that you’re an INCREDIBLE mum!

I can’t stress it enough: parenthood isn’t about being “perfect” (whatever that means), it’s about showing up, reflecting, growing, and loving.

And that’s exactly what you’re doing!

You. Are. Incredible.

And if that worry ever gets too loud, check out my FREE pdf with 19 calming affirmations.

They’re designed especially for mums and are perfect for those moments when self-doubt and worry creep in. Think of them as a gentle daily reminder that all is well and you’re doing an amazing job.

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FAQs

1. What are the signs of a good mum?

Some of the biggest signs of a good mum or mom include caring about and loving your child, showing up, learning from mistakes, celebrating “small” wins, and being emotionally present.

2. Is it normal to feel like a bad mum sometimes?

Totally normal. Almost every mum feels that way sometimes. Feeling like that doesn’t mean you’re bad – it usually means you care a lot or that you have underlying issues that need to be addressed.

3. How can I know if I’m a good mum?

Look at what you do every day. Do you keep your kids safe? Do you listen and try your best? Do you love them? Do you feed them? Do you say sorry when you mess up? Those are all signs you’re doing an amazing job.

4. What if I lose my temper or make mistakes?

Everyone makes mistakes. Saying sorry and trying again teaches your kids it’s okay to get things wrong — as long as you keep trying.

5. Can I be a good mum even if I don’t do everything perfectly?

Yes! Kids don’t need a perfect mum. They need a mum who loves them, cares, and keeps showing up.

6. Are small daily things really that important?

So important! Things like reading a story, laughing together, or listening to your child make them feel loved and safe.

7. How can I stop comparing myself to other mums?

Focus on your own family. Everyone’s life looks different. What you see online is just a tiny piece of the picture.

8. What if I still worry a lot?

Worrying is normal, but if it starts taking over your life, consider reaching out to a therapist or check out my mentoring options. I’ve helped a lot of mums (including myself) with self doubt and I’d be honoured to help you too.

Ivana Poku

PhDr. Ivana Poku is the author of Motherhood – The Unspoken, an award-winning blogger and maternal mental health advocate. Through her work, she is on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen, heard and supported. Ivana is also a mum of three boys, including twins, and lives with her family in a small coastal town in Scotland.

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