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ivanapoku

❤️ Creating a world where mums don’t struggle in silence
🤰Mum of twins+1
👀 Featured in @Forbes @BBC
👇 Author of ‘Motherhood - The Unspoken’

Huge thanks to @rachellouisemoss for including my

Huge thanks to @rachellouisemoss for including my thoughts in her latest piece for Metro, highlighting those unhelpful comments parents often hear during baby or toddler tantrums.

Let’s be honest, tantrums are tough enough without the added pressure of unsolicited advice or awkward interventions.

What truly annoys me is when someone tries to distract my screaming child and I kindly say, "It’s okay, they just need to let it out,” but they carry on anyway. Respecting a parent’s approach matters.

What are YOUR thoughts on this?

Have you experienced this too? Xx

I'm thrilled to invite you to join the FREE Bump t

I'm thrilled to invite you to join the FREE Bump to 1st Birthday with Confidence Summit!

Which I'm joining as a speaker. 😊

This incredible online event is designed to empower expectant and new parents with the knowledge, tools, and support you truly need. <3

Here’s what you’ll learn:

✨ Feel confident in your body and birth choices – You'll learn how to prepare for the right birth for you and your baby, understand maternal mental health, navigate a traumatic birth experience, and even get career guidance for this new chapter.

✨ Get practical parenting insights – Various experts will cover baby sleep, children’s emotions, reflexology, weaning, childcare, and so much more!

✨ Discover the topics that rarely get talked about – from parenting with ADHD and defining your parenting values, to trauma-informed approaches and being a Queer parent.

Together, these sessions will help you step into parenthood feeling informed, supported, and confident.

The Bump to 1st Birthday with Confidence Summit runs from 28 April to 1 May, fully online. You’ll have 48 hours to watch each presentation at your own pace.

It’s completely FREE to attend!

You also have the option to upgrade to a VIP ticket for extra bonuses and an enhanced experience.

Over £700 worth of prizes are up for grabs too, yay! :)

Click the link in bio to learn more and grab your FREE ticket :)

When our twins were born, I breastfed them. But d

When our twins were born, I breastfed them.

But did I really want to?

Well, yes and no.

I did want to have that experience. I wanted to give them breast milk.

But seeing how excruciatingly hard it was, I started to doubt myself very quickly.

I pushed through for about eight months, thinking that if I stopped, I wouldn’t be a good mum.

Until I finally realised: my mental wellbeing—and my boys’—had to come first.

Until I got to the point where I FINALLY prioritised my (and my boys’!) mental wellbeing.

Would it have been the “right” thing to keep going?

Maybe...

If I had more support.
If I had family around to help.
If I wasn’t bombarded with advice from every direction.

But I was.

Just like I am every day, in countless other ways.

Maybe I allow more screen time than I “should”—but often that’s the only moment of peace in our house. The ONLY time no one’s crying, shouting, jumping on each other, or trying to kill their brother.

And I know I’m not alone.

I know with absolute certainty that this is why other mums don’t always do the “right” thing either.

(I’m using quotes because—who knows what’s objectively right, right?)

We’re not taking shortcuts or slacking off because we’re lazy or don’t care.

We’re doing the best we can with the resources—and energy—we have.

We’re drained.
We’re juggling too much.
We’re running on broken sleep and broken nerves.

And most days, we’re holding it all together with love, grit, and sheer willpower.

Previous generations didn’t face motherhood like this.

That’s why they often look at us and say, “Why is that mum on her phone while she's out with her baby?”

Well, this is why.

It’s not because we’re lazy bit**es.

It’s because we’re exhausted bit**es.

Stealing this one from @twopawsfarmhouse . I could

Stealing this one from @twopawsfarmhouse . I couldn't say it better. 🙏

Towards the end of my pregnancy with twins, I foun

Towards the end of my pregnancy with twins, I found myself in a prenatal class, surrounded by expectant parents, but feeling more alone than ever.

The room was buzzing with questions, but none of them were the ones that kept me up at night. I kept waiting for someone to ask questions like:

👉 Am I allowed to miss my old life?
👉 How will my relationship with my partner change? Will we still be close after the baby comes?
👉 Is it normal to be scared even if I’ve always wanted children?
👉What if I don’t have the maternal instincts everyone talks about?
👉 Will I still be able to enjoy my hobbies after having a baby?

I was waiting for someone to ask about the things I was truly terrified of... But no one did. And as the class went on, i thought: if no one was asking these questions, maybe I was the only one feeling this way.

The things is, most prenatal and antenatal classes focus heavily on birth and the practicalities of looking after a newborn, but they don’t prepare you for motherhood. They don't tell you how it actually feels to be a new mum.

They don’t explain how it changes you and your life, what feelings are normal (and why), or that you might grieve the old version of yourself. They don’t reassure you that this is a natural process. They don’t tell you that you might not fall in love with your baby right away, or that breastfeeding is a skill that needs to be taught. They don’t emphasise how important it is to have help and support, or how to reduce the risks of postnatal depression (and how PND actuallly feels).

And this subsequently leads to a lot of unnecessary struggle (and less quality time with our little one)

That's one of the main reasons I wrote 'Motherhood - The Unspoken'. In the book, you have a unique opportunity to explore the real-life experience of being a new mum. You will discover what most mums wish they had known earlier AND get the support that prepares you for the reality of motherhood, not just the theory.

Click the link in bio for the link. X

#prenatal #antenatal #firsttimemum #pregnancy

When I decided to write 'Motherhood: The Unspoken'

When I decided to write 'Motherhood: The Unspoken', one of the most common questions I heard was: Isn't there already something similar out there?

And honestly, nothing frustrated me more than this question.

Because here I was, eager to pour my heart out and determined to make a real difference for mums around the world—and yet, many were focusing on the wrong thing, missing the bigger picture.

Of course, there ARE already incredible books on new mum life—like What to Expect When You’re Expecting by @heidimurkoff, The Unmumsy Mum by @mrsgifletcher , and Why Did No One Tell Me? by @physiomumuk , to name a few. I’ve read and admired many of them.

Yes, we touch on similar themes, but every book carries a unique perspective, shaped by personal experiences. This book is MY truth, my heart on paper, and that’s what makes it different—just as every other book has its own special voice and message.

So instead of worrying about whether a similar book existed, my only concern was how to reach as many mums as possible—so that no mother would ever have to feel as I once did: lonely and hopeless.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about comparison—it’s about connection and making a difference together, each of us in our own unique way. ❤️

Love,
Ivana xx

#newmums #newmoms #firsttimemum #postnatal #postpartum #pregnancy

I'm incredibly excited and grateful to have this a

I'm incredibly excited and grateful to have this amazing woman, Nadia Essex, on board my audiobook project, aimed at ending silent struggles and raising awareness about postnatal depression (PND). ❤️

As a PND survivor, I'm convinced that the #1 reason new mums struggle in silence is due to unrealistic expectations surrounding early motherhood. When they don’t feel the happiness society expects, they often end up blaming themselves, which leads to even more challenges—and, for too many, postnatal depression.

I wrote Motherhood: The Unspoken to break this cycle. The book shares realistic insights into life as a new mum, reveals the untold truths about motherhood people (and prenatal classes) don't talk about, features real-life stories, shows mums what emotions are normal to experience (and why), gives them reassurance, helps them see the light at the end of the tunnel - and, in the process, helps them reduce the risk of PND.

The audiobook I'm currently working on features mums from around the world, representing diverse backgrounds and experiences. The goal is to unite a wide range of voices to create lasting change and support mums everywhere. ❤️

80% of the profits will be donated to the @pam.foundation, a charity founded by Hamish Magoffin in memory of his wife and son, whom he tragically lost to postpartum depression.

I’m always looking for more people to join this cause, so if this message resonates and you'd like to support this cause too, I’d love to hear from you! 🥰

Please send me a DM @ivanapoku or email me at Ivana.poku@mumsjourney.com.

Thanks so much! Let's make a difference together. ❤️

With love and gratitude,
Ivana xx

PS. To get a copy of the book, click the link in my bio 👉 @ivanapoku

#postnatal #postpartum #firsttimemum #fourthtrimester
#pregnancy #newmum

Joanne Sharkey appeared in court after admitting t

Joanne Sharkey appeared in court after admitting to killing her newborn son in 1998—a crime committed while suffering from severe postnatal depression and hiding her pregnancy. The world sees her as a monster, an evil who deserves to rot in hell.

The problem is that society doesn’t see mums with postnatal depression and postnatal psychosis as ill. They’re seen as weak. Crazy. Evil.

Yet PPD is a life-threatening illness—just like cancer, diabetes, or heart disease. They are not much different. You can’t willpower your way out of it. It can consume you. It can be deadly.

When I had PPP, it was as if someone else had taken over my mind and body. It was excruciatingly terrifying and lonely. I had intrusive thoughts, some telling me to hurt my own children. I didn’t act on these thoughts, but it doesn’t make me better or stronger than Joanne. I was just lucky.

This is why I speak out—because stigma and silence don’t just hurt, they kill. And if we’re don’t break the stigma, we’ll keep losing lives.

Please save and share to help stop the stigma. It may feel like a small step, but it’s the small steps that make the big ones. 🙏❤️

#postnataldepression #postpartumdepression #ppd #poa #maternalmentalhealth #postpartumanxiety #postnataljourney #lifewithanewborn

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