I feel incredibly lucky and grateful for my amazing family… For my wonderful husband and our gorgeous twin boys Mason and Henry who give me mountains of joy and love every single day.
However, the beginning of my motherhood journey was rather horrific…
I suffered major postnatal depression, which was, frankly, the worst experience of my life and something I don’t wish anyone to ever have to go through. It was the worst nightmare I could not wake up from… It was something that completely took over my mind and I suddenly had no longer power over my thoughts (or even deeds)….
Here I welcome Rachel Hunter N.N.E.B, Private Nanny, Nursery Owner, Child Minder, TA, STA, and MUM. Rachel is a Holistic Therapist & work with Women and children at R&R Therapy, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE7 7LX.
Rachel is a postnatal depression survivor and a mum to two adult children. In the below post, she shares her experience with postnatal depression and talks openly about the trials and tribulations of becoming a mother and what she would have done differently if she had a chance.
Over to Rachel…
I was so excited when I found I was pregnant, my husband and I had only been married 6 weeks and never imagined it would happen so fast, my pregnancy went well and when baby arrived, I was so, so happy. I had a son, I had my baby!
Over time, things started to change, my happiness dipped, although I loved my new addition to our little family with all my heart (and for that I was relieved, as I know some new Mothers struggle), life became very hard, it felt as though joy had left my world forever! I didn’t feel good enough in all walks of life, I felt I was failing as a wife & mother, in fact, in all aspects of my life! I had to detach myself from anything and everything that was negative, I couldn’t cope.
Here I welcome Alexandra Kremer, www.alexandrakremer.co.uk, to share her powerful story and valuable information about birth trauma.
Alexandra is a fertility, birth and parenting specialist, antenatal & postnatal educator and practitioner.
She is trained in delivering the Freedom Fertility Formula, The Calm Birth Method, The Wise Hippo Birthing Programme, BabyCalm and ToddlerCalm and is also a Certified Birth Trauma Resolution Practitioner which is where a huge part of her passion lies.
She has a keen interest in yoga as well as women’s and children’s rights during birth and beyond.
Originally from London, Alex now lives in Hertfordshire with her two young children. Alex sees clients in person and remotely from all over the world. More information can be found on her website.
Over to Alexandra.
Birth trauma is sadly all too often a common occurrence, perhaps you had an unexpected medicalised birth, an emergency or a problem with yourself or your baby before, during or after the birth. A common misconception though is that to experience trauma it had to have been really horrific labour. This is not true. keep reading
The day started like any other until I opened my inbox and found an email saying that I am a finalist for Best Business Women Awards 2019 for Best Blogger !!
Honestly, I had to pinch myself a few times at that moment before I realised it really was true!I cannot even start to describe what a huge honour this is for me.
I started blogging about 3 years ago after I had overcome postnatal depression, with the one and only goal to help and support mums to never have to feel the way I did.
I absolutely love to see how this blog progresses.At first, I was writing only about my own experiences, but after a while I started to go deeper and reveal all the unspoken truths about motherhood which, I believe, could help – even save – many new mothers out there.
I started to share tips and advice on how to overcome common parenting problems, and struggles and do my best to show mothers that whatever they are going through, they are not alone.keep reading
As a new mum, you are overwhelmed by the amount and variety of emotions.
But also by the amount and variety of advice that flows to you from every direction, aren’t you?
I lost count of the amount of advice I was given when I felt down… But I will never forget one in particular that made a huge difference in the way I felt and perhaps even saved me.
The boys were a few months old and I was having a depressive episode (of course, I didn’t know what it was at the time). I remember that daunting feeling of despair and the neverending tears that I could not stop from falling.
I felt trapped in my own life and didn’t see any point in anything.
Yaw took me and the boys out for a walk and I was describing to him how I felt. I cried and cried… and then cried again over the fact that I was crying and feeling down instead of enjoying being a mum.keep reading
With Father’s day coming up, I want to point out to the subject of fathers and postnatal depression as I feel it is despite its significance often overlooked or even ignored.
Postpartum depression has typically been perceived as a problem limited to women with newborn babies and has not included men.
However, we cannot forget that fathers also experience significant changes with the arrival of their child. Fathers also have to adjust to an array of new and demanding roles and tasks during the early stages of parenthood. keep reading
I talk about postnatal depression so often but have never written about what postnatal depression actually is…
Personally, I am familiar with everything that relates to postnatal depression, but I am aware that this is not the case for everyone. There are plenty of people who still have no clue what it actually is, or even perceive it as some kind of a whim on the part of the sufferer.
So let me do something about it… What is Postnatal Depression (PND)?
I believe there are two different ways of defining PND, a professional and a personal definition.
According to NHS, “postnatal depression is a type of depression that many parents experience after having a baby. It’s a common problem that affects more than 1 in every 10 women within a year of giving birth.” (please note that this goes for the cases that have been reported but there still are many of them who weren’t). PND can also affect fathers and partners.
I had an entry into the 2006 London marathon but unfortunately suffered an injury so had to defer. I then realised that if I moved quickly there was a chance I could become pregnant with my second child and still be able to run in the 2007 marathon and not lose my deferred place.
I was incredibly fortunate that with both pregnancies I didn’t suffer with morning sickness or any pains. I managed to keep running through both pregnancies. With the second one, I managed a gentle 5 mile run in some light snow in the morning and then went into labour that evening.
Unfortunately, my daughter (like my son) has to be extracted immediately due to the monitors showing they were in distress so I had to have emergency sections for both.
Do you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and/or feelings?
I believe it won’t be anything new for you when I advise you to talk about it. Especially when these thoughts/feelings can significantly impact your mental health. Especially when you are a new mum dealing with feelings of sadness, failure, overwhelm, loneliness, isolation… Talking is undoubtedly the best thing you can do.
The reason is simple. Talking can literally save you.
I know you feel overwhelmed with everything that is going on now.
You could not wait to have your babies and now that they are here, you are not sure that it is what you wanted. I know you are astonished by your own feelings and emotions.
I know you don’t feel the love you expected to be feeling. I know you doubt your decision about having children. I know you desperately want your life back. I know you feel stuck. And I know that you feel incredibly guilty for feeling this way. keep reading
I’ll never forget the moment when I was looking at my few days old children and tears were falling down my face.
However, it wasn’t the tears of joy, it was the tears of regret.
Regret that we’d wanted to have them and regret about my future.
It was a couple of days after Yaw and I had moved into the hospital. Nurses recommended this step as I’d wanted to breastfeed. During one week all four of us lived in a hospital room the size of a shoe box. I am always grateful that we had this option but it wasn’t easy to live like that.
In a real-time it wasn’t a long period of time, but for me, it was the longest week of my life. And one of the hardest ones.
I was looking at them as they were asleep and an intense desire for them not to exist took possession of my mind. Up until today, I get goosebumps when I remember what had been running through my mind at that moment. Why did we want them …? Why did they have to be born?