7 Simple Tips on How to Support a New Mum (That Actually Help)

A woman doesn’t truly know what motherhood is about until she becomes a mother.

Often, I see pregnant women—or those in their first year after birth—already planning or trying for a second child.

I wasn’t any different, of course.

“What can surprise me now? I know I won’t sleep, that it’ll be hard, that the baby will always cry… but I’ll handle it!” I thought.

But in reality, each of us is surprised by our own reactions and emotions after becoming a mum.

Suddenly, it’s not just about sleep deprivation and changing nappies.

You’re experiencing a cocktail of emotions you never expected to feel.

Now what?

Every day, lovely texts arrive, congratulating you and asking questions you don’t know how to answer.

And everyone wants to come see you immediately.

But what should you do when your brain feels foggy, and the only thing you want is to lock yourself in a quiet room and scream?

Life would be so much easier if there was a “manual” on how to support a new mum.

What would such a manual include?

I believe it would look something like this:

1. Remember that a new mother is going through a tough time (especially emotionally)

This might seem obvious, yet so many forget it.

If a new mum seems irritated, sad, tired, or even avoids replying to messages—it’s totally natural and normal.

To support a new mum, start by simply understanding that her world has shifted in a massive, emotional way.

2. Don’t rush your first visit—wait until she invites you

This is the golden question: When is the right time to visit a new mum?

Many people believe they need to visit ASAP, or they’ll seem like they don’t care.

WRONG.

Every new mum needs space—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

She’s recovering from birth, adjusting to sleepless nights, and trying to find her feet in a brand-new life.

Don’t assume she’ll tell you not to come—most mums are too polite for that.

Instead, show your support by letting her choose when she’s ready for visitors.

3. Keep your visit short (ideally under 1 hour)

Once you do visit, don’t overstay—no matter how excited you are to catch up.

A new mum might not have slept properly in days.

What she needs most might be a nap, not a long chat over coffee.

If she spends her one quiet moment entertaining guests, it could leave her even more drained.

A short visit shows you care and respect her boundaries—both key ways to support a new mum.

4. Focus on her emotions, not just the baby

People love asking new mums questions like, “How was the birth?” or “Is the baby sleeping?”

But fewer people ask: “How are you doing, really?”

That’s where emotional support comes in.

Up to 80% of new mums experience baby blues—feelings of sadness, anxiety, and mood swings.

And some go on to face postnatal depression, which is even more serious.

Instead of just chatting about the baby, check in on the mum.

Let her know it’s okay to not be okay—and remind her she’s not alone.

That’s one of the most powerful ways to support a new mum.

5. Avoid mummy jokes (for now)

We all joke about motherhood—especially experienced mums.

But to a brand new mum, those jokes can feel overwhelming or even dismissive.

Saying things like “Don’t worry, only 18 more years to go!” might get a laugh in some circles—but not when she’s deep in the struggle of newborn life.

To support a new mum, meet her where she is.

Offer comfort, not sarcasm.

6. Don’t assume she wants a wild night out

Friends often try to help a new mum “have fun” by inviting her out for drinks or a big night.

While some mums do need to let off steam, others may prefer a quiet tea and a chat over clubbing until 3am.

Don’t pressure her. If she says no, respect it.

Support a new mum by meeting her where she feels safe and happy—not where you think she should be.

7. Keep your advice to yourself—unless she asks

This is a big one.

New mums are bombarded with advice from every direction—some helpful, some not so much.

If she didn’t ask, don’t offer. Simple.

Instead, ask how you can help. Let her figure out her own rhythm without feeling judged.

That’s how you support a new mum in a way that builds her confidence, not breaks it down.

Final Thoughts: Supporting a New Mum Can Be Simple—If You Let It Be

There you go—7 real, down-to-earth ways to support a new mum.

Which one resonated with you the most?

Let me know in the comments or DM me in Instagram—and feel free to share this with someone who needs a gentle reminder of how to show up for new mums with compassion and kindness.