Ivana Poku It is safe to say that most women’s idea of pregnancy is… a bit naive.
We all pictured the moment we saw two lines on a pregnancy test like the grand finale of a romantic movie.
You know the scene: soft music, perfect lighting, slow motion, you fall into each other’s arms and cry happy tears.
But the first shock hits fast when that movie moment doesn’t happen.
Or it happens with a tiny side order of panic, dread, fear, confusion, or all of the above.
Then you look at your partner’s face, expecting fireworks, and instead you both stare at each other like:
“Oh. This is real. This is happening. What now?”
Suddenly you have one million questions flying around your head – questions that did not exist in the movie version of this moment.
And that’s only the beginning.
Because as pregnancy rolls on, you slowly start side eyeing anyone who ever described it as “magical.”
Magical? Where? Show me.
You feel rough.
You feel grumpy.
You feel sick.
You feel swollen.
And by the end, you often can’t sleep, can’t get comfy, and you climb a set of stairs like you’re attempting Mount Everest.
So let’s talk about the real surprises.
The ones you don’t see on Instagram or in glossy baby magazines.
The ones women whisper about but rarely say out loud.
In this post, I cover:
1. Pregnancy often isn’t magical at all
Before I got pregnant with our twins, I used to look at pregnant women and think they were glowing angels floating softly through life.
I was jealous.
I wanted that glow.
I wanted to look down at my belly and feel like a goddess.
But in reality, there was no glow at all.
The first trimester hit me like a bus.
I had nausea, heartburn, and this general feeling of “I am unwell at all times, please send help.”
Then near the end of third trimester, I couldnn’t even walk up a few steps without being short of breath.
I needed someone to literally push me up.
Sleeping was alsmost impossible.
The babies would press on my ribs, and the only comfortable position was standing up.
(Which does not work well at 2 a.m.)
So yes… magical is not the word I’d use.
2. The shortness of breath
I had twins, so this may have been extra dramatic, but honestly – WHO KNEW you could get out of breath simply by existing?
Walks that were easy before became full challenges.
Even talking felt like exercise.
It’s funny how tiny babies can steal so much energy from you, while also doing absolutely nothing.
3. The irritability (sorry, husband)
Oh, the hormones.
You think you understand hormones… until you’re pregnant.
I became irritable for no reason.
My poor husband got the brunt of it.
I snapped at him, then felt guilty, then repeated the whole cycle again the next day.
Honestly, I hated being so moody.
But I couldn’t help it: the hormones were in the driver seat for most of the first trimester.
4. The feelings I didn’t expect
I wanted my babies.
I planned for them.
I longed for them.
And yet… I didn’t feel purely excited all the time.
Sometimes I missed my old life.
Sometimes I missed the things I couldn’t do anymore, like going out, having a drink, having a smoke.
Sometimes I felt scared about the future.
Would we have enough money? Would I be a good mum? Am I ready for this?
And sometimes, I felt angry that the babies would take away time with my husband.
I knew things would change, and part of me resented it.
These feelings and thoughts shocked me.
But now I know they’re normal.
You’re going though a MASSIVE transition, so it’s only natural to feel scared or resentful at times.
5. How uncomfortable — and honestly, unattractive — I felt
I always thought pregnant women were beautiful.
Like artwork.
But when it was me?
I felt like a clumsy balloon.
I waddled.
I couldn’t tie my shoelaces.
I felt so heavy and so… not myself.
It’s funny how something can look beautiful on someone else, and feel completely different when it’s happening to you, isn’t it?
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6. The invisible connection to other parents
This one actually surprised me in a nice way.
It was like the world suddenly split into two groups: parents and non-parents.
And I found myself deeply connected to people I didn’t even know.
If I saw a mum with a pram, I felt this unspoken “I see you” bond.
Like we belonged to the same secret club.
Like she suddenly understood all my fears, all my hopes, all my weird symptoms… without a word.
It was new and comforting.
7. Pregnancy fatique
I knew pregnancy would make me tired.
Everyone tells you that.
But THIS tiredness?
This was a whole different level of tired.
It felt like I had accidentally taken an extra dose of sleeping pills.
I could fall asleep anywhere.
On the sofa, on a bus, at my desk.
Being in the office was torture.
I had to physically force my eye lids to stay open.
By lunchtime, I’d sneak away for a tiny rest — sometimes even napping in a chair in the warehouse just to survive the afternoon.
What frustrated me most was how little control I had over it.
It wasn’t normal tiredness, it was this overpowering wave that took over my whole body.
8. The loss of independence
Nobody really warns you about how suddenly you lose the ability to do the simplest things.
One minute you’re moving through life with a breeze, and the next you’re staring at your shoes trying to work out how to reach them.
Almost everything becomes a mission.
Rolling over in bed requires strategy.
Standing up from the sofa deserves its own medal ceremony.
Putting on trousers feels like a full workout.
Even getting out of the car became a multi-step process.
The best thing you can do is accept it and remind yourself it’s only temporary.
Because if you fight it or resist it, you make your life so much harder.
And trust me… you don’t want to do that.
9. The overwhelming sense of responsibility
When you’re pregnant, your sense of responsibility changes basically overnight.
One day, you’re just living your life, and the next, you’re suddenly carrying someone else’s entire world on your shoulders.
It hits you in unexpected ways.
You start worrying about everything: money, safety, the state of the world, whether the baby will like vegetables, whether you’ll be a good mum.
Even things that never crossed your mind before suddenly feel urgent and personal.
It’s exhausting, and a little terrifying.
You feel like every decision matters more than it ever has, and the weight of it can make your head spin.
You begin planning for things you didn’t even know needed planning: nappies, sleep schedules, childcare, your finances… and you realise how fast your old, carefree life has shifted into a series of serious responsibilities.
It’s overwhelming, yes.
But it’s also nature’s way of preparing you for your baby who will soon depend on you for everything.
Pregnancy doesn’t just grow a human.
It grows a mother (and father) too.
Pregnancy: beautiful in theory, wild in reality
Before experiencing it, I imagined pregnancy as a dreamy, most amazing time of my life.
But living it was completely different.
It was messy, uncomfortable, emotional, surprising, and overwhelming.
And yet…
Even with all the surprises, it’s also the beginning of the most incredible journey.
Not magical in the fairy tale way.
But magical in the “Wow, I’m becoming a mum” way.
cal in the “Wow, I’m becoming a mum” way.
If you’re about to become a mum and want a little help navigating the surprises that come after the baby arrives, I created a free guide called 9 Motherhood Facts I Wish I Knew Before Giving Birth.
It’s packed with honest insights and tips that will make early motherhood MUCH easier, and help you feel more prepared and confident for the journey ahead.
Click here to grab it now.
