How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night (No More Guessing)

Last Updated on September 17, 2026 by Ivana Poku

“When will my baby finally sleep through the night?”

I think this might be the single most-asked question among new mums.

At least among most of them.

Believe it or not, there are mums out there (I’ve had the privilege of meeting a few) whose babies slept through from day one.

But for the sake of our emotional wellbeing, I won’t talk about those mums right now, lol.

Instead, I’ll focus on you – the one in the thick of it, desperate to get your sleep back.

I know that feeling all too well.

And I still remember how torturous it felt to run on no sleep and have no choice but to push through each day.

All the days and nights became one big blur, like I was stuck in some kind of time vacuum where the clock had stopped but the motions carried on on autopilot.

It took a toll on my mental wellbeing, and another child to learn how to cope and how to get my sleep back.

But at least I did – and now I can show you how too!

But first, hello!

I’m Ivana, a mum of three boys (including twins), the founder of MumsJourney, and author of Motherhood: The Unspoken, on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen and supported.

If you’re finding life with a newborn really hard, I highly recommend you grab my 27 affirmations that I created exactly for this stage. They are free, and they’ll bring you relief in seconds.

In this post, I share:

• common mistakes new mums make when it comes to sleep
• what we did to help our third baby sleep through the night
• and how you can do it too!

Ready?

Let’s dive in.

What “Sleeping Through The Night” Actually Means

Before we go any further, I want to clear one thing up.

When we talk about newborns, “sleeping through the night” doesn’t usually mean a full 12-hour sleep.

It normally means 6 to 8 hours without waking.

I know that’s plenty, I just wanted to be clear on that one.

I’ve heard many, many theories over the years, but speaking from my own experience, I believe all babies have the ability to sleep through as soon as they’re born.

Sadly, we’re just not taught how, and often struggle much longer than we need to.

Why Your Baby Isn’t Sleeping At Night (Yet)

I’m not a parenting expert, but here’s one thing I know for sure: when your baby cries or can’t settle at night, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong.

At the same time, it doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

Let me tell you my story.

The first year with our twins was the hardest time of my life:

• they were colicky for 6 months
• they cried almost constantly (sometimes in turns, sometimes together)
• I had no friends or family around to help
• I was alone with them for about 12 hours a day
• I was struggling with postpartum depression

And of course, the sleep deprivation made everything much harder.

My husband and I were running on very broken sleep for months that felt like years.

We were broken.

We tried everything we could think of on our own for months before settling on controlled crying, which almost broke my heart – but it worked within 2 days.

It was excruciatingly hard, but at that point, it was either that or we’d actually break. Not metaphorically – literally.

Speaking of which, this is one of my best pieces of advice I have for you, my darling: what your baby needs the most is a happy and relaxed mum. So if there’s anything you can do to make your life easier and happier, do it.

I am still finding it hard when I realise we really didn’t need to struggle for as long as we did with the twins.

I even remember that we considered reaching out to a sleep expert, but I can’t remember why we didn’t in the end.

My best guess is that there were so many options available and, as new parents, we had no idea where to start or who to listen to.

So we stayed stuck and lost.

How To Get Your Baby Sleeping Through The Night

When our third son was born five years later, things were totally different.

There was no way we’d go through the same pain with sleep again, so we started working with a baby sleep expert, Andrea, who we’d got to know personally in the meantime.

And let me tell you, girl, that decision was the best decision we made.

Our boy slept through from three months – and it only took about a week of work!

I couldn’t believe it.

And I was so angry they didn’t teach us these things in antenatal classes.

Because had I known this when our twins arrived, it would have saved me so much time, tears, and probably even lowered the risk of PPD.

However, I can’t turn back time, but what I can do is learn from my experience and help you avoid the same mistakes I made.

So here’s what I’d do if I were a new mum now:

1. Start a real routine as early as three months.

   The sleep expert Andrea we worked with explained how a routine worked and why it’s beneficial. I was amazed when I found out how much children (and parents) benefit from a routine. Even babies!

   I was also surprised to learn that you don’t necessarily need 1-to-1 guidance. It’s great if you have lots of questions you want answered quickly, but the process is the same.

   I know they say every baby is different, but from my experience, an effective routine can work for babies across different ages and personalities. Andrea used the same basic routine, adapted by age, with all the hundreds of babies she worked with.

2. Be consistent, even when it feels pointless.

   This is where most parents give up – and where I almost did too!

   Following a sleep routine can feel very hard, especially in the first few days. It often doesn’t seem to be working, so it’s tempting to stop.

   If I hadn’t been driven by the memory of what happened with the twins, I probably would have given up too. But I didn’t, and it sooooo paid off!

   A routine only works if you stick with it long enough for your baby to learn it too. But the good news is that, if you do it right, it shouldn’t take longer than one week to establish it.

3. Pick your approach without judging yourself for it.

   Some parents go for controlled crying – as we did with our twins after months of nothing else working. It was another layer of emotional torture for me, but it worked within a couple of days.

   Other parents want a gentler, no-cry approach.

   Both are valid! What matters is that you pick one and follow it, rather than half-doing three different methods at once.

4. Get expert-built guidance instead of piecing it together yourself.

   This is the step almost everyone skips, and it’s the one I regret not doing much sooner.

   Sure, you can find many routines on the internet for free, but you don’t know how much you can trust them. You can also create one yourself, sure, but expert guidance is expert guidance for a reason.

   They are built based on experience, research, and what actually works for babies at different stages. You’re not just getting a random routine from Google – you’re getting a structured plan that has been created and tested by someone who understands baby sleep.

5. Give it time before you judge whether it’s working.

   A routine needs a full week, sometimes two (especially if you give in during the process or don’t follow the steps consistently), before you’ll see the fruits of your work.

Other Benefits Of Having A Sleep Routine

Now, here’s another thing I didn’t realise for years: a sleep routine can give you much more than better sleep.

It can affect your baby’s behaviour too.

When your baby gets enough sleep and has a predictable rhythm to their day, they are often calmer and happier during the day.

When babies know what is coming next, they can feel more settled and secure. They start to learn the pattern of their day, which can make things like going from playtime to nap time or bath time to bedtime much easier.

And it doesn’t just benefit your baby, it benefits you too! 

When you have an idea of when your baby will sleep, feed and wake up, it’s much easier to plan your day.

And it gives you some breathing space too.

You might finally have time for a shower, a proper meal,a cup of tea in peace, or even just five minutes where nobody needs anything from you.

And when you’re less tired and more in control, you may feel more confident as a mum too.

Of course, a routine won’t magically turn your baby into a tiny angel. They are still babies, after all! 

But having some structure can make those chaotic days feel a LOT easier to handle – for both of you.

Why Investing In Help Pays Off More Than Most Parents Realise

Now, I’m not saying you can’t try to establish your own sleep routine based on your lifestyle, or have no routine at all.

I am only speaking from my own experience, as a mum who lived both.

(And who has spoken to many, many mums over the years.)

If you try to figure this out entirely on your own, it can cost you far more than money.

It can cost you your health, your sanity, and often also rob you of the moments you could spend enjoying your baby.

In some cases, it can also cost you your relationship because, when you’re constantly sleep deprived, you’re more irritable, argue more, and can unconsciously create distance between each other.

With our third son, the difference wasn’t luck.

It was that we stopped trying to DIY it and got proper, structured guidance behind our routine from the start.

If you don’t have your own Andrea living nearby, this is the closest thing I found to it: the Newborn Sleep Bundle by Taking Cara Babies.

It’s a no-cry, step-by-step video course built by a neonatal nurse.

It walks you through exactly how to read your baby’s cues and build a routine that sticks, with a searchable troubleshooting guide for the nights when nothing seems to be going right.

It also comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, so there’s no risk in trying it.

Sleep Routine Doesn’t Restrict You

I know some new parents refuse to even think about any kind of routine because they don’t want to feel restricted.

They want to do things “freestyle”.

I totally get it.

As a new parent, you know your life is changing dramatically, so the last thing you want is to restrict it even more if you don’t really have to.

But believe me when I say that without a routine, you can end up being way more restricted than you would be with one.

A routine gives you some predictability in your days, which makes it much easier to plan things ahead. It can also help with your baby’s behaviour, giving you more breathing space.

When you freestyle, you are more likely to end up running on a hamster wheel of pure exhaustion, not knowing what to expect at any point.

So what may sound like freedom on the surface (the freestyle way) can actually give you the least amount of freedom in the long run.

Final Word

There you go, my lovely.

I hope this post gave you some clarity on what the right solution is for you and your baby.

I know that having a sleep routine saved my sanity, and maybe even my life.

Sure, it’s not easy, and many parents see it as restricting, but believe me when I say, you gain much more than you lose.

And remember: this stage won’t last forever!

I know it certainly felt that way when our twins were tiny, and now it’s just a distant memory.

Please know there is hope, and it usually arrives faster than you’d expect once you stop trying to do this entirely alone.

So here’s what to do, in a nutshell:

• Start the routine (established by someone who understands babies and sleep)
• Stay consistent
• Get real guidance behind it, whether that’s the course above or a 1-to-1 expert near you
• Give it at least a week before you judge it

Hang in there, my darling.

You’ll get your sleep back, I promise!

If this post made you feel seen, there’s more support waiting for you in my book Motherhood – The Unspoken.

Inside, you’ll find real stories from first-time mums, the innermost thoughts and challenges they faced during pregnancy and early motherhood, how they coped, the lessons they wish they’d known sooner, and words of support for you.

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