5 Simple Ways Every Stressed Mum Can Find Peace (Without Guilt)

Feeling stressed as a mum?

Well, let me rephrase this question.

(Becasue all mums feel stressed sometimes.)

Feeling constnatly stressed?

When your patience is paper thin, the noise never stops, and even the smallest thing (like your partner breathing too loudly) can push you over the edge….

It’s not easy at all.

But here’s the thing you need to hear right away: Feeling stressed is completely normal.

Stress isn’t a sign you’re failing.

It’s a signal, not a problem to “fix.”

As a parent, you’ll inevitably come across situations that don’t leave you at ease.

It’s totally normal to feel stressed or to lose it from time to time.

The problem is when stress becomes your default state.

When you (and your kids) can’t remember the last day you didn’t scream or feel on edge.

In this post, I’ll share with you how you can do just that.

But first, hello!

My name is Ivana, and I’m the founder of MumsJourney – a blog dedicated to supporting mums through every stage of their motherhood journey. I’m also the author of Motherhood: The Unspoken and an award-winning maternal mental health advocate and mentor.

After giving birth to my twins in 2016, I experienced severe PPD. It was the hardest time of my life, but it also showed me how much there is to motherhood people don’t talk about and how many mums don’t get the support they need.

Since then, I’ve made it my mission to help other mums feel heard, supported, and less alone.

In this post, I cover:

• How to recognise stress without guilt

• Simple ways to calm your mind

• Ways to enjoy motherhood more

The fact that you’re reading this post is a sign that you’re aware of that – and most importantly, that you want to do something about it.

And that is the mark of an AMAZING parent.

Because you are.

So next time you beat yourself up for feeling stressed, remember this: You are amazing.

Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty.

Why Stress Is Normal in Motherhood (and Not Your Fault)

After having our twins in 2016, I struggled with severe postnatal depression.

It was the scariest and loneliest experience of my life.

And, unknowingly, I made it even harder for myself.

On top of struggling with depression, I constantly beat myself up for not being the “happy mum” I felt I should be.

I wasted so much energy criticising myself, and honestly, I’m not sure what was worse—the depression or the self-hate.

Either way, the impact it had on me, my children, and my parenting was massive.

When I pulled through depression, and as the boys were growing up, new challenges appeared.

Then in 2021, we had our third. So… even more new challenges appeared.

Over time, I felt like stress had become my default state.

And I know this is the case for most parents.

And it’s no wonder.

Parenting today is much harder than it used to be.

As I once saw in an Instagram post:

“Modern motherhood is hard not because the kids are bad, but because the noise is loud, the standards are fake, and the support is gone.”

Oh, how I felt that one.

But here’s the thing: just because stress is understandable doesn’t mean it has to be your norm.

I’m sure your body is telling you the same.

Personally, I spent years trying different things to feel more at peace.

I longed to not get triggered when my children screamed, threw tantrums, or tried to kill each other.

After years of trying, I realised it wasn’t the world around me that needed to change for me to feel calmer and happier.

It was me.

How to Manage Stress as a Mum: 5 Powerful Shifts

Okay, let’s be real – calm, stress-free parenting doesn’t just happen.

It takes little shifts in how we think and react to the chaos around us.

The good news? Even tiny changes can make a massive difference for you… and for your kids.

Here are five shifts that worked for me.

1. Stress isn’t always the enemy – self blame is

The most important thing I realised is that stress is a natural part of life.

You will experience stress from parenting, work, relationships, or even the little things that pile up every day.

And when you do, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

Stress is simply your body and mind trying to communicate with you: “Hey, slow down, pay attention, take care of yourself.”

So first and foremost – stop beating yourself up for it.

Instead, treat yourself with compassion.

Just acknowledging your stress without judgment will take a huge weight off your shoulders. I promise you that,

Did you lose your patience after a tough morning with the kids?

Take a moment to trace what triggered it, and you’ll see it makes total sense.

What truly matters isn’t avoiding stress altogether, it’s learning how to respond to it.

2. Consistency beats a one-time insight

One realisation or insight won’t magically change your life.

The real transformation comes from catching yourself regularly, noticing the stress, and consciously choosing to respond differently.

Over time, it becomes second nature.

You’ll start to feel calmer, more present, and shout less.

Consistency is what really changes things.

3. Introduce new ways of thinking, slowly

Learning to think differently can feel tricky, especially if you’re doing it alone.

Old habits are sticky.

Trying to change everything at once just adds stress.

Instead, start small.

Notice one thought or reaction that often triggers your stress.

Could you see it differently? Could you give yourself a kinder response?

Support makes this easier.

Talk to a friend who truly listens, read a helpful book, or talk to a coach or therapist.

You don’t need anything fancy, just something that helps you start rewiring the way you think.

Remember: little changes, done consistently, add up.

Over time, you’ll notice yourself handling challening moments with more patience.

4. Zoom out and see the bigger picture

Here’s advice I got from a 90-year old lady I’ll never forget: “See the bigger picture.”

When you’re stuck in the moment, the problem always looks bigger than it is.

Take a step back.

Look at the bigger picture.

Suddenly, that screaming toddler? Not the end of the world.

That breakfast argument? One tiny moment, not your whole day.

Perspective is like a pressure release valve.

It helps you pause, and respond instead of reacting.

5. Take one small step at a time

This might sound obvious, but it’s super powerful.

Trying to change everything at once?

Overwhelming. You’ll get stuck.

Start with one small thing:

• Take five minutes alone after school.

• Ask your partner to help with one task.

• Step outside for a coffee while the kids play.

And here’s the kicker: step out of victim mode.

Yes, it’s tempting to blame the kids, your partner, or life.

But doing that gives away your power.

Real change starts when you decide you’re in charge of your life, and take small steps that reflect it.

It’s okay to have a little pity party now and then.

But call time on it, take back your power, and show your kids how to handle life with calm and patience.

Simple Daily Habits to Feel Calmer as a Mum

There you go!

Here’s a quick recap you can keep in mind:

• Notice your stress without guilt or blame

• Pause and respond instead of reacting

• Practise one small calming habit each day

• Lean on support (friends, experts, or resources)

• Always zoom out and see the bigger picture

I hope you find these tips helpful, and that you feel inspired to start putting them into practice.

Remember that every small step you take matters.

And that you’re constantly modelling and teaching your kids how to cope, too.

What you do now… they’ll carry with them into adulthood.

Let that be your driving force when things get hard.

With love,
Ivana xx