Ivana Poku You’ve just had a baby, and let’s be honest: nothing can prepare you for the level of sleep deprivation that comes with those newborn weeks.
And more importantly, how it impacts you.
The phrase “sleeping like a baby” suddenly feels like a cruel joke.
Some babies wake every hour.
Some like to party at 3 a.m.
(Yes, some sleep through right away… but let’s not think about those for now).
And you? You’re wondering if you’ll ever feel human again.
First things first: you’re not alone.
We’ve all been there.
Every new mum goes through this stage in one form or another.
The good news? It won’t last forever.
But while you’re in it, it definitely feels like it will.
That’s why in this post, I’m sharing practical ways to cope.
Let’s dive straight in!
1. Sleep When Baby Sleeps – If You Want
Some mums love to sleep when baby sleeps.
Some, like me, don’t.
There is no right or wrong way here.
Listen to your body.
If it tells you to nap, go for it.
If it tells you to read, scroll, or do something that feels like you, that’s fine too.
Sometimes, doing an activity you enjoy gives more of an energy boost than sleep.
The key?
Do what helps you most – without guilt.
2. Share the Load
If you have a partner, take turns at night so each of you gets at least one solid block of rest.
Some couples take shifts, others trade nights.
When our twins were babies, we each took responsibility for one baby at night and it worked for us.
There’s no perfect system, just make sure you’re not carrying everything alone.
This isn’t the time to play superhero (you are one anyway).
Be honest about what you need, and then ask for it.
If your partner isn’t supporting you enough, check out this post, where I explain how to get him on board.
3. Get Paid Help
If your budget allows, consider paid help – whether that’s a night nanny, a postpartum doula, or even a cleaner.
Sometimes, just outsourcing one thing (like housework) gives you the mental and physical rest you desperately need.
This is not the time to be penny-pinching at the cost of your sanity.
If spending a little extra means you get to rest, recover, and function better, it’s worth every single penny.
Think of it as short-term support for long-term gain.
You’re making sure both you and your baby have the best version of you.
And that’s priceless.
I share my experience of how getting help helped our third baby sleep through from three months old in this post.
4. Go to Bed Early
Forget the Netflix binge (for now).
Okay, you’re allowed occasionally, but try to make it the exception, not the rule.
Go to bed earlier than usual so you can get some rest before the midnight wake-ups begin.
You dn’t have to sleep, just lie down and relax.
Even one or two hours of rest before the first feed can make a huge difference.
5. Don’t Obsess Over How Little Sleep You’re Getting
It’s easy to spiral into panic: “I’ve only had three hours… how will I survive tomorrow?”
But stressing about sleep only makes things worse.
What helps me is telling myself: “Okay, I might not sleep tonight.”
Strangely enough, that acceptance takes the pressure off.
Sometimes I fall asleep after that. Sometimes I don’t.
And that’s fine.
It’s still better to be “just” sleep deprived, than being sleep deprived AND stressed about being sleep deprived.
7. Try Soothing Tricks
Sometimes, no amount of rocking seems to work.
That’s when many mums swear by tricks like:
-
A short car ride
-
White noise or a vacuum cleaner
-
Gentle tummy-down cuddles with light pats
- Baby massage (you can find great video tutorials on YouTube)
-
Baby-wearing while you move around
Every baby is different, sp experiment and see what works for yours.
8. Accept Help Without Guilt
If someone offers to hold your baby, fold laundry, or bring food – say YES.
This isn’t weakness, it’s survival.
Some cultures have a family member move in for the first few months.
If that’s not an option, create your own “village.”
I talk about more how in this post.
9. Fuel Your Body
Sleep deprivation makes you crave sugar and caffeine.
A little caffeine is fine, but balance it with:
-
Hydration (drink more water than you think you need)
-
Quick, nutritious snacks like fruit, nuts, or yoghurt
-
Simple meals (hello, grocery delivery and pre-cut veggies)
Your body is healing and needs fuel.
Think of it as energy for both you and your baby.
10. Take Micro-Naps
If you can’t manage a long nap, a 10–20 minute “power nap” can still reset your brain.
Some mums even learn to nod off sitting up with baby safely in their crib nearby.
The point isn’t deep sleep, it’s giving your brain a quick recharge.
11. Move Your Body (Gently)
It sounds counterintuitive, but a short walk or light exercise will give you an energy boost.
Fresh air + movement = a clearer mind.
Even a walk around the block with the pram counts.
12. Lower Your Standards (For Now)
Your house won’t be spotless.
Your meals won’t be fancy.
And you probably won’t remember where you put your keys.
That’s okay.
Right now, it’s about surival.
Lowering expectations helps you feel less pressure.
13. Remind Yourself: This Won’t Last Forever
The nights feel endless, but they won’t last forever.
One day, your baby will sleep longer stretches—and so will you.
Hold onto the small wins (like that first 4-hour stretch) and take it one day at a time.
Things look much harder when you focus on what’s going to happen in a month or a year.
That’s why focusing on today, and today alone, is incredibly liberating.
Final Thoughts
Sleep deprivation is one of the hardest parts of early motherhood.
But you will get through it.
Right now, it feels endless, but this stage is temporary.
One day, it will be a distant memory, and you’ll hardly even remember it.
You’re doing an amazing job!
Never doubt that.
FAQs About Sleep Deprivation in New Parents
1. How many hours of sleep do new mums actually get?
On average, new mums get around 4–5 hours of broken sleep in the first few weeks. It’s normal for it to feel exhausting, but it does improve over time.
2. When does sleep deprivation get better after having a baby?
Most babies start sleeping longer stretches between 3–6 months. It varies for every baby, but things gradually improve.
3. Is sleep deprivation harmful for new mums?
Yes, chronic lack of sleep can affect mood, memory, and even increase the risk of postpartum depression. That’s why rest and asking for help are so important.
4. What can I do if I feel too wired to sleep when my baby sleeps?
Try calming rituals like deep breathing, a warm shower, or listening to soothing music. Even lying down with your eyes closed can be restorative.
5. How can I cope with sleep deprivation if I don’t have help?
Focus on micro-naps, prepping easy meals, lowering household expectations, and using things like white noise or baby-wearing to settle your baby so you can rest. You can also build your own supportive community of mums in your local area.
7. Can sleep deprivation affect bonding with my baby?
Yes, exhaustion can make bonding feel harder, but that doesn’t mean you’re failing. Bonding grows over time through small, everyday moments.
