Ivana Poku Hey mama, I see you.
The real you.
The one drinking a third-time reheated coffee and answering texts with one hand.
The one who feels guilty for going to work — and guilty when at home.
The one who thinks, “As a mum, you can’t win.”
You’re in the right place.
Let’s talk like two tired mums would — over coffee, crumbs on the table, and mess all around us.
And if we haven’t met yet, I’m Ivana — the founder of Mums Journey, a blog dedicated to supporting mums through every stage of motherhood. I’m also a mentor and the author of Motherhood: The Unspoken.
After having my twins in 2016, I struggled in ways I never expected. I looked “fine” on the outside, but inside I was falling apart.
Today, I support other mums who feel the same way — not with theory, but with lived experience and a deep passion to make a difference.
So if you’re a working mum wondering how (and if) you can lighten the load and drop the damn guilt once and for all — this is for you.
1. Stop expecting yourself to work like you don’t have kids
This one is big, and a bit uncomfortable.
You are not the same person you were before children.
Yet many of us still expect ourselves to work as if we didn’t have kids at all.
Remember: as a mum, you’re not less capable, you’re just carrying more.
More mental load.
More responsibility.
More demands.
Trying to do it all at 100% is like trying to fit nine eggs into a six-egg carton.
Something is going to crack — and it’s usually you.
So try this today:
- Lower the bar — on purpose. Decide what actually needs to be done today. (Remember: no one will die if you don’t do more)
- Pick one priority (not five)
- Let “good” be enough
Some days, surviving the workday is the win.
You can be a great mum and a great employee or business owner.
Not by doing everything at 100%, but by managing your time and energy in a smarter way.
2. Drop the guilt (and here’s how)
Working mum guilt is sneaky.
It whispers things like:
- “I should be more present.”
- “Other mums manage better.”
- “I’m missing too much.”
Let me tell you this clearly: being emotionally present matters far more than being physically present all the time.
Real togetherness doesn’t come from being in the same room.
You can be with your children 24/7, but if your mind is elsewhere — thinking about work, the washing, tomorrow’s to-do list — it’s like you’re not there at all. Children feel it.
On the other hand, you can be miles apart and still feel deeply connected.
You see the difference?
Even 10 minutes a day of fully focused, undistracted presence can mean more to your children than hours with a mum who is there physically, but absent emotionally.
And there’s something else we don’t talk about enough.
When you drown in guilt, you’re modelling that guilt to your children.
They learn that making choices means feeling bad, or that they should question themselves constantly.
Is that what we want to pass on?
No.
You don’t need to be everywhere, all the time.
Dropping the guilt doesn’t make you cold.
It protects you — and your children.
I talk more about mum guilt more in these posts:
- How to say no without guilt
- How to set boundries with your children without being crushed by guilt
- How to fnd more time for self care as a busy mum
3. Change the story you’re telling yourself
Now, I want you to read this part at least twice.
I want you to look at what you’re doing. Really look.
You show up every day.. not just for yourself, but for your family.
You work to provide, to give your kids what they need, to make life a little easier, a little brighter for them.
How incredible is that? Seriously. Pause and let it sink in.
And on top of that, you also know your own wellbeing matters.
You carve out time for yourself while at work. (You may feel guilty but you know it’s good for you. You know it because a part of you enjoys it.)
You understand that a happier you makes you a better mum.
That’s not “selfish”. That’s genius.
Yet so often, we tell ourselves the story of struggle and guilt.
We think, “I’m failing. I’m not doing enough. I’m stretched too thin.”
So let’s flip the script, ok?
Tell yourself, “Wow, I’m a superhero!”
Because you are.
The work you do, the time you take for yourself, the love you give — it’s extraordinary.
If you want more powerful phrases that will calm your mind and bring your inner peace in seconds, snag my FREE pdf with 19 magic affirmations for mums.
4. Make work-life balance smaller (and more realistic)
Balance doesn’t mean everything gets equal time.
It means nothing gets completely ignored — including you.
Forget the “perfect magic tips” for a balanced life.
It’s not about grand gestures.
It’s about the small steps — so small you almost miss them, yet they carry the greatest power.
For example:
-
a 5-minute breather before switching from work mode to mum mode
-
sitting in silence in the car before going inside (yes, that counts as self-care)
-
one non-negotiable boundary at work — like no emails after a certain time
-
or anything else you instinctively know will help you.
Many dismiss these “small” actions as irrelevant.
But they actually make the biggest difference when you do them daily and consistently.
If you want more, realistic self care ideas, grab my FREE self care guide for busy mums!
5. Ask for help like it’s your job
This was one of the hardest (and most important) lessons for me.
I thought asking for help meant I wasn’t coping.
In reality, it meant I was finally being honest.
Think about our grandmothers, our great-grandmothers, even our own mums…
Help was a natural part of motherhood. No one questioned it.
So why do we feel like we should do it all alone?
Please, get as much support as you can. It will save you a LOT of pain and struggle.
As a working mum, you simply cannot do it all. It’s impossible.
Women of the past did everything — but many didn’t work outside the home.
You can’t expect to carry the same load and work a full job. You’d need to be superhuman.
What also helps a LOT is planning ahead and staying organised.
I’m not naturally organised (quite the opposite, actually) and it took me a while to get things under control.
But once I did, let me tell you girl — it changed my life in ways I didn’t expect.
Not only did my life become easier, but I also became calmer and more patient with the kids!
If you find it difficult to be or stay organised, I highly recommend you check out this printable organiser that I designed especially for busy mums! It does all the heavy lifting for you – all you need to do is print it out and watch take the pressure off.
6. Remember: this phase is only heavy — not permanent
If you’re in the thick of it — young kids, a demanding job, no space to breathe — I know it feels like this will last forever.
Like this is just your life now, and it will never change.
But it will.
This is not your life, it’s just a hard season in your life.
You won’t always feel this stretched.
You won’t always be this tired.
And you won’t always feel like you’re just running on autopilot.
I know it’s hard to see it in the moment, but try to look at the bigger picture.
This will pass.
A gentle word before you go
If you’re a working mum who feels like you’re constantly falling short — you’re not alone feeling this way.
You’re doing something incredible and hard, often without enough support.
Can’t you see what a superhero you are?
I hope this post helped you see it and if you have any questions, please drop them below or DM me on Instagram. I love to hear from my readers!
Your next read:
- 7 Simple Ways to Make Motherhood Easier—Starting Today
- Why I Put My Relationship BEFORE My Children (And Why That’s Actually Good for Them)
- Returning to Work After Maternity Leave When You’re Emotionally Not Ready
FAQs
Q: I feel guilty going back to work. Is that normal?
A: Oh, mama, completely normal. That guilt is sneaky and tells you all sorts of things. But feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you care. You’re showing up for your family, providing for them, and taking care of yourself too. That’s amazing, not shameful.
Q: How can I be present with my kids when I’m exhausted?
A: You don’t need hours of perfect attention. Even 10 focused minutes — putting your phone down, giving them undivided attention — is more powerful than hours of distracted time. It counts more than you realise.
Q: I don’t have anyone to ask for help. What now?
A: Ask anyway. Friends, family, colleagues… even neighbours or local parenting groups can pitch in. Help doesn’t have to be huge. A short break, a meal delivered, or someone watching the kids for an hour counts.
Q: I feel like I’ll never get work-life balance right.
A: Balance isn’t perfect. It’s tiny steps: 5 minutes to breathe before switching from work to mum mode, setting one boundary at work, a quiet moment for yourself. Small, consistent actions are the real game changers.
Q: Will this hectic phase ever end?
A: Yes, mama. I promise. This season is heavy, but it’s temporary. You won’t always feel stretched, tired, or on autopilot. The tough days pass, and all the love and effort you pour into your family comes back to you — often multiplied, and in ways you can’t even imagine yet.
Q: How do I stop comparing myself to other mums?
A: Flip the story you tell yourself. Instead of thinking you’re failing, acknowledge that you’re a superhero doing something incredible every day: juggling work, kids, and life, and still carving out time for yourself. That’s rare and remarkable.
