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November 2017
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Coffee talks, Motherhood

“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in the jars and open a jar of it every month.”
Harlan Miller. 

“Christmas is not an external event at all, but a piece of one’s home that one carries in one’s heart.”
Freya Stark.


Ok, so this is the first Christmas with our boys that we seem to will have actually enjoyed!


But let’s start at the beginning…


My name is Ivana (or less formally, Ivanka) and I am a mum to two gorgeous twin boys Mason and Henry. I love them so much it hurts but girl, they can drive me mad sometimes!


But that’s motherhood, isn’t it? Some days you burst with love and happiness, other days you burst with anger or stress… However, what I love about it is that love always wins. Regardless of how long or intense the battle is, love always comes out of it as an invincible winner.


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Coffee talks, Motherhood

Here I welcome  Peter Black,  a psychologist, and author of Cool The Volcano. 

The book is designed to help parents teach their children emotional management skills, and about how to boost emotional intelligence in children.

Over to Peter.

Emotional intelligence is a topic that seems to be quite trendy at the moment, and with good reason.

This is a skill which I personally feel is often overlooked in areas such as school, workplaces, and in many ways, our own homes.

Raising children is hard, I think we all know that. However, if we can help our children learn how to harness and strengthen their own emotional intelligence, the results will be incredibly powerful.

Reduced levels of emotional intelligence can be damaging, and as a psychologist with 16 years of practical experience in the forensic field, I can see the consequences for people who do not understand or implement emotional intelligence.

This was one of the main reasons I wrote my book, ‘Cool That Volcano’, as a way of helping people teach their children about emotional management and emotional intelligence.
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Coffee talks, Motherhood

“Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.” Eskimo Proverb

“Babies lost in the womb were never touched by fear. They were never cold, never hungry, never alone, and importantly always knew love.” Zoe Clark-Coates

It’s baby loss awareness week…

Another tough subject to talk about, but since it is something I have personal experience with, I feel it is finally time for me to write about it. And to support those who have been through it too.

This second pregnancy was not planned, but after the initial shock, I started to be excited and look forward to it.

But not for long. Before I knew it, the baby was gone.

I kept asking why it happened, but this is something you can never be 100% sure with. We were put through a lot of stress at the time as our Henry had to undergo surgery, so I believe this did not add up to the relaxed state of mind a pregnant woman is supposed to be in.

Anyway, one day I started to bleed so we went straight to the urgent care. They said it didn’t necessarily have to mean anything bad, but suggested for me to rest and relax. Like you could relax in a situation like that, right?

However, I did my best, but the bleeding would not stop. On the third day,  I started to feel sharp cramps in my belly. I knew very well what it meant, but was still was hoping till the last moment. keep reading

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Blog, Coffee talks, Postnatal depression 1, Postnatal Depression is real

The day started like any other until I opened my inbox and found an email saying that I am a finalist for Best Business Women Awards 2019 for Best Blogger !!

Honestly, I had to pinch myself a few times at that moment before I realised it really was true!
I cannot even start to describe what a huge honour this is for me.

I started blogging about 3 years ago after I had overcome postnatal depression, with the one and only goal to help and support mums to never have to feel the way I did.

I absolutely love to see how this blog progresses. At first, I was writing only about my own experiences, but after a while I started to go deeper and reveal all the unspoken truths about motherhood which, I believe, could help – even save – many new mothers out there.

I started to share tips and advice on how to overcome common parenting problems, and struggles and do my best to show mothers that whatever they are going through, they are not alone.
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Blog, Coffee talks, Motherhood

Guest post

Check out this great and a ‘hot topic’ post written by a special lady and mother, Lenka. 

Lenka is a mother to a lovely boy Hendrix who she loves from the bottom of her heart but finds it very challenging at times to deal with all the parenting struggles, especially after she had got back to work.  Let’s see what she says about balancing motherhood and work.

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Coffee talks, Life, oh life, Motherhood, Secrets to happy motherhood

Another Father’s day is here and for us, it’s the third one as a family. (wow, has it really been this long??)

This occasion (as well as many others) made me think about dads’ roles in the world of parenting.

Can’t help thinking as though dad’s role as such was often somewhat forgotten about… And what is even worse – as though it was normal this way!

As if it was a mother alone who deserves all the credit. Now, don’t get me wrong,  I am not taking anything away from strong mothers who also work or mothers who have an extremely difficult job of parenting roles (Absolutely amazing by the way! Never forget that). keep reading

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Coffee talks, Motherhood, Uncategorized

With Mother’s day approaching, I cannot help thinking back to my first Mother’s day as a mum.

Our boys were about 11 months and I had just started to get back on track after a devastating experience of postnatal depression.

I remember being really excited about having to experience my first Mother’s day as a mum, however, the real experience wasn’t (as a lot of my other first experiences with motherhood) as special as I imagined it to be.

If you read my story, you know it took me a few months to develop a real bond with my children. My first year as a mother was the hardest year of my life and I cannot even start to explain how it feels when you are expected to be happy when all you want is to cry and turn back time.

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Coffee talks, Ho to become a happy mum, Life, oh life, Secrets to happy motherhood

I’ve been through a lot during my life. My childhood was tough, my parents got divorced when I was only five, I went through some bad relationships and through a divorce. I suffered major depression and anxiety (which still lasts), I lost a baby…

And yet, when I talk to other people and listen to their stories, it feels like mine is not very unique.

Do you know what I mean?

Every person on this planet has their story. And no one has a purely easy life.

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Coffee talks

I often get the question, especially from new mums, asking what it is like for me to be a mum compared to the beginning.

Well, to be totally honest, nothing in this world compares to the nightmare you go through at the beginning.

When I became a mum, I could not understand other mums when they said that it is all worth it.

What on earth can be worth this torture? I used to think.

However, today I totally understand.

As I mentioned a million times before, becoming a mum is a shock. Your life changes from one day to another and suddenly you hold in your arms a crying baby who totally depends on you.

It is like as if someone locked you with an elephant in a room and threw the keys away (assuming you have zero knowledge about elephants). I am sure you agree that this would be a massive load for any kind of living being. 
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You know it. You finally put the children down and your feet up when your phone rings. It is likely your parents or a friend. You know that most likely they do not want anything major, they just want to chat.

However, after a long day of physical and psychological struggle, chatting on the phone is the last thing you want to do. All you need is sit down, switch off the brain and do not think about anything. After a while, the ringing stops and a text appears on your display. “Can you talk?” 

You think of what you should do. You want to say ‘no’ but at the same time, this idea makes you feel guilty. 
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I have recently come across an interview with the psychologist on the subject of maternity, which made me think about many things.

The article was talking about ‘cry out’ method (controlled crying method) and its negative impact on childhood psychological development. One particular sentence was of great interest to me. ‘Only a heartless parent can let a child cry out’, stated there in black and white.

If I do not take into account the fact that some psychologists support or recommend this method, I was astonished by the boldness of this statement.
I see a similar attitude in many other things. It’s as though people forget sometimes that there are two sides to everything.

Let’s take breastfeeding.

‘The right mother breastfeeds her baby’, ‘Do everything for you to breastfeed’, ‘Do not give up, your baby needs breastfeeding the most’ and so on.

From each direction, we are cluttered by the phenomenon of breastfeeding and its magical effect on our child’s life. Every new mother, therefore, feels she has to breastfeed and if she does not, she is not a good mother.
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Coffee talks, Life with twins

We have passed the second Christmas and New Year’s Eve with our boys!

The first Christmas holidays with them I was looking forward to it as a little girl. The first Christmas dinner together, children’s Christmas clothes, unpacking gifts…

With Yaw we agreed that boys had to get something that makes a sound. At that time, we did not really care what kind of sound that would be, however, in these things it is better to be picky.

As a parent, you have to count on hearing this sound for the next few weeks and hours in a day. 😉
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