Ivana Poku The Other Side of Parenting: Dads Don’t Always Have It Easy Either
“Dads have it so easy!”
How many times have you heard it, or even said it yourself?
It’s practically the unofficial anthem in mum groups everywhere.
“He says he’s tired? He doesn’t know what tired is!”
“Oh, he needs a break after work? Really?”
“He should try staying at home with the baby. Only then he’d understand what hard work really means.”
“Dads have it so easy!”
Sound familiar?
What Motherhood Looks Like Behind Closed Doors
Now, I totally get where these kinds of comments come from.
Being a mum is no walk in the park. But it’s not always easy for fathers either.
They need help and support, just like we do.
When you’re in the thick of it with a newborn or a toddler, it can be so hard to feel sorry for your partner.
After all, they didn’t have to grow a baby or put their career or dreams on hold.
They go to work, have a break from the kids, get to travel, and even have alone time with their own thoughts.
Meanwhile, we’re home wiping bums, managing meltdowns, and trying to remember what a full night’s sleep feels like.
Is It Really Easier for Dads?
I get it, it’s easy (and somehwat comfortable) to fall into the trap of resentment or feel like life isn’t fair.
But let’s try, just for a moment, to step into their shoes.
Many dads go to work each day to help provide for the family.
And in a lot of households, especially during those early years, they might be the only income earners. #
That’s a massive pressure to carry.
Just because they don’t talk about it doesn’t mean it’s not weighing on them.
Work can be mentally and physically draining.
And when they walk through the door after a long day, they’re often greeted by screaming children and a frazzled partner asking them to jump right in.
That’s not easy either.
As much as I believe mums do an amazing job (because we do!), I also believe many dads do too.
Yes, there are fathers who aren’t as hands-on or involved, but that’s not who this post is about. (I talk about how to get your partner help with the baby in this post.)
This is about the dads who are trying, who do show up, and who do care deeply.
Supporting Each Other Is the Only Way to Survive Parenthood
I often hear people comparing who has it worse, mums or dads.
But honestly, what’s the purpose of this question?
It’s about mutual support.
It’s about creating balance, building each other up, and being a team for the sake of our children.
Parenting is not a competition.
No one wins when one parent is constantly burned out or feels unappreciated.
Dads are not babysitters. They’re equal parents. And they need to be treated, and seen, that way.
We need to show them they belong in the parenting world just as much as we do.
Because once we embrace that we’re in this together, then we can truly build the kind of home and family life we dream of.
The Real Secret to a Happy Family
Don’t get me wrong, my husband drives me crazy some days too.
I’m no picture-perfect wife who greets her husband with a warm meal and a smile every day.
I get stressed. I snap. I say things I regret.
But deep down, I know he’s an amazing husband and a father, and that’s what matters.
Whenever he helps with something or supports me, I make sure I appreciate him out loud.
People are more likely to do more for us when they feel appreciated.
If you constanlty cristisie or judge them, you can’t be surprsied when they don’t feel keen to do much.
So here’s the truth: motherhood and fatherhood are tough in different ways, and both deserve respect, patience, and support.
The magic happens when we stop keeping score and start building each other up instead.
When dads feel appreciated and mums truly understood, it lifts the whole family – including your children and their future choices and behaviour.
So next time you’re ready to snap at your partner, pause.
Remember, you’re on the same team.
You’re building this crazy, beautiful, exhausting journey called parenthood together.
And that makes all the difference.
For you and for your children.
With love,
Ivana x
