Ivana Poku Let’s talk about self care.
I know.
Another post about self-care.
Stay with me please.
Because when you’re a busy mum, “self-care” often feels like one of those things people with time talk about.
People who drink hot coffee. People who pee alone. Magical creatures.
I’ve been blogging for years now, and if there’s one thing I hear over and over from mums, it’s this:
“I don’t have time for self care.”
And honestly? I get it.
Between school runs, work, nappies, snacks (SO MANY SNACKS), and the mental load that never switches off… finding time for yourself can feel impossible.
That’s exactly why I wanted to write this post.
Not to tell you to wake up at 5am and meditate for an hour.
Not to suggest expensive spa days.
And definitely not to add another thing to your list.
Just real, doable self care ideas for busy mums who feel like they have no time, no energy, and no space for themselves.
(And yes, I’ll share my favourites. Because of course I have opinions.)
Ready?
Here goes.
Why self care feels impossible for busy mums
There was a time when every “break” I had wasn’t really a break.
I’d sit down and think:
- I should be doing something
- I’ll just quickly plan this
- I need to remember that
My body was resting, but my brain was always on.
And something strange started happening.
I became more sensitive, noise bothered me more, interruptions felt unbearable, and my patience shrank.
At first, I thought the problem was the noise. Or the kids. Or my lack of tolerance.
It wasn’t.
It was exhaustion — the kind that comes from never truly switching off.
Why taking breaks is essential for mums’ mental health
This is the part no one really explains to mums.
When your brain doesn’t get real downtime, it stays in threat mode.
That means:
- Small noises feel huge
- You’re easily overwhelmed
- Your reactions are quicker and stronger
- Everything feels like “too much”
It’s not because you’re weak.
It’s because your nervous system is overloaded.
Why “resting” doesn’t always feel restful for mums
This part was a big lightbulb moment for me.
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between:
- Doing the work
- Planning the work
- Worrying about the work
To your nervous system, it’s all work.
So when you sit down and think: “I should do this… I need to do that later… don’t forget that…”
Your body never gets the message: “We are safe. We can switch off.”
That’s why you can feel tired even when you technically “haven’t done much”.
Your brain never stopped.
I’ve found that planning ahead helps my brain switch off like nothing else.
It’s kind of like delegating to your future self — you organise everything at the start of the week (or month) and don’t have to think about all the mini tasks every day.
Trust me, it’s a huge relief!!
You can get my printable organiser here if you want something pretty and super helpful to organise your days.
What really happens when mums don’t get enough self care
Let’s be honest about what happens when you don’t get proper rest.
Over time:
- Your tolerance drops
- You feel more reactive
- You snap quicker (then feel guilty)
- You feel constantly on edge
- Even quiet moments don’t feel calming
And the worst part?
You start thinking something is wrong with you.
There isn’t.
Your system just needs a pause.
Related posts:
- Why Mum Burnout Is NOT a Badge of Honour (And Why We Need to Stop Glorifying Sacrifice)
- 13 Signs You’re a Good Mum (Even When You Feel Like You’re Failing)
- How I Became More Patient With My Children (Without Meditation Or Yoga)
5 Realistic self care strategies for busy mums
Now that we’ve talked about why self care is super important for mums, let’s get practical!
Here are my six practical self care tips you can start applying today!
1. Redefine what self care actually means (no spa days required)
First things first.
Self care is not:
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Bubble baths only
-
Yoga retreats
-
“Me time” that takes planning, childcare, and mental gymnastics
Real self care looks more like:
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Doing something small that helps you breathe easier
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Giving yourself permission to stop
-
Meeting your needs, not Instagram’s idea of them
Self care can be:
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Looking outside the window for 2 minutes (simple but it’s incredibly powerful)
-
Closing your eyes and just be
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Going to bed early instead of doing the washing
- Short walk without listening to podcasts
Tiny. But soooooooo powerful.
2. Find the hidden gaps in your day
You probably don’t have loads of free time.
But you do have gaps.
They’re just sneaky.
Look for moments like:
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Waiting for the kettle to boil
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Sitting in the car before pick up
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That weird 5 minutes when everyone is distracted
In those moments, instead of scrolling mindlessly (no guilt, we all do it), try:
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One deep breath with your eyes closed
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Stretching your shoulders
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Listening to a song you LOVE
3. Lower the bar (yes, really)
This one changed everything for me.
Self care does NOT have to be “perfect” to count.
You don’t need:
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A full routine
-
Consistency every single day
-
Motivation
Some days, self care is:
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Wearing clothes that don’t annoy you
-
Eating something warm
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Letting the kids watch TV all day so you can recharge
And that is enough.
4. Calm your mind with powerful affirmations
I believe every mum (or human, really) has moments when their mind just won’t slow down.
Mums are especially good at this.
I’m not good enough.
I should be doing better.
What if…?
This is too hard.
But here’s the thing: your brain listens to what you tell it — and believes it’s true.
So the more negative thoughts you repeat, the heavier life starts to feel.
That’s why affirmations can be such a game changer!
Not toxic positivity quotes. (The internet is flooded by these!)
But simple, grounding words that calm your mind while making coffee, sitting in the car, or lying in bed at night.
And because I know how hard it is to come up with these in the moment, I created a list of 19 Magic affirmations that will calm your mind in one minute – or less!
Click here to grab them for free.
5. Attach self care to things you already do
This is one of my favourite tricks.
Instead of finding new time, stack self care onto things that already exist.
For example:
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Morning coffee = drink it slowly, without multitasking
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Shower = turn it into a mini reset, not a rushed chore
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Bedtime = 5 minutes of affirmations
I always say: if it fits into your real life, you’ll actually do it.
If it needs “perfect” conditions? It’ll never happen.
5. Final thoughts (before you go)
If you’ve read this far, let me say this clearly:
Self-care doesn’t need to be “big” to be meaningful.
It just needs to be.
Even one minute a day makes a difference.
That’s over six hours a year just for you.
You got this!
See also:
