How to Enjoy Motherhood When You’re Exhausted and Snappy

Being a mum can be EXHAUSTING.

The kind that follows you into every moment you actually want to be soaking up.

And sometimes that exhaustion gets in the way of enjoying your motherhood journey.

I know, I’ve been there.

For years, I didn’t know what it felt like to enjoy motherhood instead of just surviving it.

I was trying to manage everything – kids, work, marriage, friendships, the house… and also squeeze in time for me.

At the time I’m writing this post, our twins, Henry and Mason, are 9, and baby Yaw is 3.

Which means different ages, different needs, and different energy levels.

Our mornings usually start with arguments, or a full-on interrogation:

“Mummy, can I…?”
“Mum, where’s my…?”
“Mum, but pleaaaase!”
“Mum, Mason just…. !”
“Mum, how many days till Christmas?”

Often all of it at once.

Meanwhile, baby Yaw is throwing tantrum #2 of the day, my husband Yaw is trying to work from home (or rushing to catch a train) – and the clock hasn’t even hit 8 a.m!

We wake up between 5 and 6 because when baby Yaw’s up, we’re all up.

So often, by the time the day even begins, I’d already be completely drained.

This was my daily reality for years – running on autopilot, going from one task to the next, always exhausted, always half empty.

I’m not saying all the hard bits dissapeard, but I eventually found a way to enjoy motherhood despite the challenges.

And if I could do ut, so can you.

It didn’t happen overnight, but I discovered simple ways to slow down, drop most of the guilt, prioritse myself, and as a result enjoy my kids more.

In this post, I’m sharing what they are so you can give them a try too.

But first, hello!

My name is Ivana, and I’m the founder of MumsJourney and author of Motherhood: The Unspoken, on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen and supported.

After giving birth to my twins in 2016, I experienced severe postpartum depression (PPD). It was the hardest time of my life, but it also opened my eyes to how many mums struggle in silence.

When I pulled through PPD, I’ve made it my mission to help other mums feel heard, supported, and less alone.

In this post, I cover:

• How to slow down and be more present as a mum
• Ways to reduce parenting stress & overwhelm
• Simple yet powerful tips to enjoy motherhood more

Ready?

Let’s begin.

Why I Was Running at 200%

It took me a long time to realise this, but I often operated at 200%.

When the boys came home from school and had no activities, I felt I had to do something with them.

Even with an amazing suportive communit, the moment I was alone with the boys, I’d push myself way past my mental and physical limits.

No wonder I was constantly exhausted, and had (almost) no energy left to enjoy moments with my kids.

When I Realised Exhaustion Was Holding Me Back

If you asked me why I was pushing myself like this, I’m not sure I fully understood myself.

It was this nagging feeling that, to be a good mum, I had to do something with them.

When they spent too much time on screens, I felt guilty – as if I wasn’t giving them enough of myself.

Everywhere you look on social media, you’re hit with posts about how precious these moments are.

I knew it deep down, and that pressure was probably what drove me.

My husband Yaw kept telling me this wasn’t healthy – not for me, and not for them.

And I’d try to slow down, I really did… but over time, I’d always slip back into my old habits.

Then one day, it hit me: when I’m exhausted, I get more stressed, more snappy, and I end up dismissing my boys when they try to talk to me – because, honestly, I’m just done.

Pushing Myself Too Hard Made Everything Worse

It was during a session with my mindset coach, that it hit me like a wall of bricks.

By pushing myself to 150%, I wasn’t giving myself a chance to be the best mum I could be.

I’d stay in the park for an extra hour – even though my mind and body were screaming for rest – just to keep them happy.

But the more I pushed, the less I could actually enjoy the moments I was working so hard to create.

I’d be wiped out for the rest of the day, rush through bedtime, or sometimes skip it altogether.

And in that moment, I just knew I had to stop.

Stop running at 200% all day and start being intentional about where I put my energy.

To slow down and listen to my body more.

To spend less time hovering. Not because I didn’t love them, but because I did.

To let them get bored sometimes… to do their own thing without me feeling guilty.

Because when we act out of guilt, we rarely do it for the children – we do it for ourselves.

So my perspective changed practically overnight.

Learning to Set Boundaries

From that day, I started being more aware of how I distribute my energy.

I:

• make sure to take breaks before I reach breaking point
• say no when my body says no
• prioritise myself so I can actually be emotinally present for my kids

I’m not saying your story is the same, or that your exhaustion comes from the same place as mine.

But here’s the truth: exhaustion is not your default – it’s a signal that something needs to change.

And believe it or not, often, it’s a choice.

Exhaustion Is a Choice

For some mums, it’s the choice not to ask for help.

For others, it’s not carving out any ‘me time,’ not setting boundaries, or not seeking support when needed.

Here’s the key: no matter how objectively stressful a situation might seem, it’s not the situation itself that creates your stress – it’s how you respond to it.

Two mums could face the exact same challenge, yet one feels drained and overwhelmed while the other navigates it with more ease.

Overwhelm is not automatic; it’s shaped by the mindset and decisions we make.

These choices, big or small, add up.

They influence your energy, your mood, and your mental health.

Left unchecked, they can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and even postnatal depression.

Remember: Exhaustion is not a badge of honour or proof of your dedication, it’s your body telling you to pause and reset.

I talk through the exact boundaries and mindset shifts that helped me step off the 200% treadmill in my book, Motherhood: The Unspoken.

And if you’d rather start with something quick and free, grab my FREE Postpartum Survival Toolkit here – it’s the first thing I’d hand you if we were having coffee right now. 🙂

How to Enjoy Motherhood More

So starting today, make a choice to be a mum who’s more present and relaxed (as much as possible, because after all, you’re still a human being) – not one who’s running on empty, pushing beyond her limits.

Here’s exactly where I’d start:

1. Accept the hard moments instead of resisting them.
Some days will be hard and that’s okay. Wishing them away or fighting them only makes the exhaustion heavier. So the best thing you can do is simply accept them. When you do, you stop bracing against motherhood and start moving through it. Don’t deny or avoid the hard parts, but don’t feel defeated by them either.

2. Short bursts of undivided attention go a long way.
If they ask for the park and you’re running on empty, listen to your body. I learned this the hard way! I used to push through anyway, and we didn’t even have a good time because I was snappy or just half there. Twenty minutes of you fully present will do more for them than two hours of you being exhausted, snappy, or somewhere else in your head.

3. Let them get bored sometimes.
It took me a while to learn this one. Letting them be bored isn’t neglect – it’s teaching them a real life skill. Boredom is where imagination shows up. When you fill every gap for them, you take that chance away.

4. Set boundaries that protect your energy.
Boundaries shape the kind of people your kids grow up to be. If setting them feels hard, I share my tips in the post How to Set Boundaries With Your Children Without Being Crush By Guilt.

5. Ask for help like it’s your job.
Most mums feel they have to do it all, but I’ve never understood where that idea came from – we were never meant to do this alone. Ask your mum, your mother-in-law, your grandmother… A generation ago, help wasn’t optional, it was just how it was done. The idea that you need to manage everything yourself is a story you’ve been telling yourself, not the reality. They say it takes a village for a reason.

6. Take breaks before you hit breaking point:
Don’t wait until you’re snapping at everyone to rest. That’s the most common mistake mums make. Rest as often as you can, in whatever way feels good to you – even if that’s standing in the kitchen watching the birds outside for two minutes. It sounds so simple but you’d be amazed how relaxed it will make you feel.

7. Choose yourself first, not last.
If you’re not okay, nothing else holds together. Your kids don’t need you to be everything, all the time. They need you to be happy.

Final Word

Some of our mornings still start with screaming and fights.

That hasn’t changed.

What’s changed is me.

I allow myself to feel what I feel, be real, and don’t run at 200% anymore.

And so can you, lovely one.

You don’t need everything and everyone to be cetain way to enjoy motherhood.

You can enjoy it now, even amidst the chaos.

I hope this post helped you to show you how. And if you have any questions, please drop them below or email me at ivana.poku@mumsjourney.com.

FAQs

1. Is it normal to feel exhausted as a mum?

Yes! Feeling drained, stressed, or stretched too thin is completely normal. Motherhood comes with constant demands, but learning to manage it can help you feel more present and joyful. It’s okay to be overwhelmed, but it’s not okay to do nothitng about it.

2. What if I feel guilty taking time for myself?

Guilt is normal – and can even be healthy – but always remember: the most amazing gift you can give to your children is your happiness.

3. Can professional support help with stress and overwhelm?

Yes. Mindset coaches, parenting specialists, or counsellors can help you identify patterns, set boundaries, and develop strategies to feel more in control and enjoy motherhood.

4. How can I enjoy maternity leave with my baby?

Maternity leave can feel completely overwhelming at first, especially with a newborn. My best advice? Keep things simple. Find little routines that actually work for you and your baby, grab tiny moments to rest, and please – don’t pressure yourself to do it all (because let’s be real, you can’t). Ask for help, enjoy those precious bonding moments, listen to your guts, and follow your intuition… And always keep in mind: this is not forever.