The Real Reason Children Turn to Screens – And How to Change It

Do you feel guilty about how much time your children spend on screens?

Does screen time give you the only chance to breathe during the day?

Do you wish they spent less time on their screens – but also dread giving up that precious break?

If you said yes to any of these, this blog post is for you.

The Real Reason Your Child Uses “Too Much” Screen Time

Everyone talks about how to reduce screen time. Limit it. Manage it. Replace it with something “better.”

But almost no one talks about why our kids turn to screens in the first place.

And until we get to the root cause, every solution just becomes another pressure on us as parents – another thing to do, another box to tick, another way to feel like we’re falling short.

Because let’s be honest: most screen time solutions put more on our plates.

We’re expected to become entertainers, activity planners, and patient negotiators—all while running on empty.

But what if the real solution isn’t about changing our children…

What if it’s about changing the support system around us?

Let’s take a look at the real reasons behind rising screen time – and what we can actually do to change it.

1. We’ve Lost the Village

Back in the day, screen time wasn’t a problem, because screens didn’t exist.

So what did kids do?

They played with each other. They explored. They were out and about.

But that only worked because mothers weren’t doing it all alone.

They had support. They had community. They had their village.

Holidays were spent at grandparents’. Neighbours kept an eye out. Help was just a shout away.

When parents needed a break, they had people around them to step in.

Today, screens have become the modern-day village.

They offer the support many of us no longer have.

They entertain our children when we’re burned out.

They give us ten minutes to catch our breath.

Screens haven’t just snuck into our lives.

They’ve filled a gap we never asked to manage alone.

2. Children don’t play outside alone anymore

Another big shift?

Most kids just aren’t outside like we used to be.

When I was a child, I remember racing outside after school to meet my friends.

Streets were full of laughter and bike bells and games.

Now? You look out the window and most streets are empty.

So of course screens are more appealing.

No one wants to play alone.

(Or wait for two weeks to arrange a playdate as our calendars and schedules are too busy)

3. Safety and Supervision Have Changed

These days, most kids – even at 9 or 10 – aren’t allowed to play outside without a parent hovering nearby.

Some of that makes sense. The world’s changed. There’s more awareness around risks, and of course we want our children safe.

But let’s be real—some of the rules are just plain over the top.

Letting a ten-year-old walk to the shop alone? Judged.

Allowing a child to play in the park unsupervised? You might get reported.

It’s no wonder parents feel like they can’t win.

We’re expected to protect our kids at all times, but also raise them to be confident and independent.

So they end up inside. Watched. Contained. Entertained by screens.

And honestly? We can’t be surprised.

When freedom shrinks, screen time naturally grows.

4. Parents Are Burnt Out

And last but not least – modern parenting is draining.

We’re juggling work, home, school, housework, admin, meals, laundry, emotional load, and all the invisible tasks no one claps for.

We weren’t designed to do this alone, yet most of us are.

So when the screen steps in?

It’s not laziness. It’s survival.

Sometimes the only way to make it through dinner prep without a meltdown (theirs or ours) is to hand over the tablet- and breathe.

Screens aren’t the enemy. Burnout is.

So, What Can We Actually Do to Reduce Screen Time?

First things first—we need to accept that our kids are growing up in a screen-filled world.

We can’t ignore it. We can’t escape it.
And pretending it’s not there will only make our children feel like outsiders among their friends.

So yes, some screen time is okay.

Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Don’t compare yourself to your mum or grandma who raised kids without screens—they lived in a completely different world.

Trying to recreate their reality today is like running into a brick wall.

So instead, make peace with it.

Accept that screens are part of life—and shift your focus to finding balance.

1. Start Rebuilding the Village

Then – build your own village.

You don’t have to do this alone. You were never meant to.

Feeling guilty for asking for help is like feeling guilty for breathing.

Get together with a few local mums and build a mini support system that works for you – coffee meetups, playdate swaps, shared childcare, whatever feels doable.

Yes, the traditional village might be gone.

But that just means we get to create a new one.

And trust me – other mums are craving this just as much as you are.

They want connection. They want support. They need a break too.

You don’t have to fix everything overnight. But you can start here.

2. Loosen the reins

Yes, we can’t change every system, but we can start loosening the reins where it’s safe to do so.

What you can try:

• Start with small freedoms. For instance, let them walk two doors down to a friend’s house, or stay in the park while you sit on a nearby bench.

• Teach them real-life safety skills instead of avoiding all risk: crossing roads, asking for help, saying no.

• And when people judge? Shrug it off. You’re raising a future adult, not a bubble-wrapped toddler.

And hey – when you talk openly with other parents about this, you’ll often find they also want to give their kids more freedom… they’re just afraid to be first.

Be the first.

3. Make Boredom Normal Again

This one’s underrated. Let them be bored. Don’t rush to fill every quiet moment.

Boredom is the seed of creativity.

Let them moan, stomp, sulk – and wait it out.

Eventually, they’ll make fun.

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Build a fort, draw, dance, tinker.

It might take a few tries, but it’s worth it.

The more they flex that boredom muscle, the less they’ll reach for the screen.

4. Create Low-Effort Play Zones

Screens often win because they’re easy.

They don’t need setup or your help. They just work.

So instead of banning screens and hoping for the best, make offline options just as effortless.

Think:

• a basket of LEGO ready to dive into

• a reading nook with books they actually like

• a tub of dress-up clothes or costumes

• a craft station that doesn’t need your supervision every five minutes

The goal isn’t to create more work for you. It’s the opposite.

You’re not their entertainer.

You’re building an environment that lets them play without needing you at the centre of it.

Less pressure for you. More imagination for them.

Take Back Your Power

There’s so much more you can do – these tips are just a nudge to get you started.

(And if you come up with a new idea, please share it with me! 🙂)

At the end of the day, this isn’t about being a perfect mum.

It’s about being you.

The you that’s hiding beneath the layers of guilt, stress, and self-doubt.

That’s the mum your children really need.

When you tap into her, you’ll realise the solutions are often simple.

Because when it comes to screen time, screens are rarely the real problem.

Dig a little deeper, and find what truly works best for you and your family.

For most mums, everything begins with a simple shift in mindset.

I hope this post sparked that shift for you.

If you enjoyed it, consider signing up to my newsletter below for regular tips, advice, and plenty of support from one mum to another.

With love,
Ivana