Ivana Poku Hey there, mama. I see you.
Tired eyes, coffee in one hand, baby in the other (or maybe twins… I’ve been there!).
Motherhood can feel like a never ending whirlwind,… and sometimes it seems like every “proven tip” online just makes you feel worse because, let’s be honest, if it were that easy, you’d already be doing it, right?
So today, I’m skipping the fluff.
I’m giving you practical, doable ways to make mum life easier—starting today.
Nothing fancy. Nothing unrealistic. Just small shifts that actually work.
But first, hello!
I’m Ivana, the founder of Mumsjourney – a blog dedicated to supporting mums through every stage of their motherhood journey. I’m also a mentor, and author of Motherhood: The Unspoken, on a mission to stop mums struggling and be the mum they want to be.
In this post, I cover:
1. Shift your mindset around motherhood
Before we talk about the practical stuff, let’s tackle the most important thing: your mindset.
Motherhood can feel hard, yes.
But thinking “it’s hard” all the time doesn’t magically make it easier—it just makes you feel trapped in it.
I know this because I lived there for years.
But today I know that motherhood is not supposed to be exhausting.
But somewhere along the way, we bought into the narrative that mums simply struggle… and we settled for it.
We started believing that feeling overwhelmed, drained, and stuck in survival mode is just “part of it”.
But trust me when I say it doesn’t have to (and shouldn’t) be that way.
Mum life isn’t meant to feel like constant survival mode.
Yes, there are hard moments, but struggle is not meant to be the default setting.
What you focus on, you amplify.
Your brain is always looking for proof of what you believe.
If you believe motherhood is heavy, your mind will keep collecting evidence to support that.
But when you start looking for the good stuff—connection, small wins, happy moments—you begin to see more and more of them.
Think about this:
If I say “yellow” and ask you to scan the room, suddenly yellow is everywhere.
The same principle applies here.
So instead of mentally replaying everything that’s going wrong, try this:
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Give more intentional attention to the good moments
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Focus on what’s within your control
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Change the language you use about motherhood
Because the way you speak about your life shapes how you experience it.
For example, when you wake up, instead of thinking, “Ugh, another day”, try: “I’m lucky to wake up to healthy children. This ordinary morning is someone else’s dream.”
2. Plan, plan, plan
I admit, I still struggle with this sometimes.
But chaos is sooooooo exhausting,
Now, let’s be realistic: I don’t think it’s humanly possible to remove chaos completely from motherhood.
But even a small bit of planning can be life changing.
Here’s what I do:
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Weekly schedule
Every Sunday, my husband and I sit down and talk through the week ahead.
For example:
What’s coming up?
Is there anything we need to do, buy, or arrange?
We do this to avoid last minute chaos and things being missed.
Now, full disclosure: neither of us is naturally organised.
It is a challenge.
But it makes a massive difference to our lives, and our wellbeing.
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Plan tasks ahead and stick to them
I plan everything from work to mum life in advance—and then I stick to the plan (this part is crucial).
I assign specific days and times to specific tasks.
For example:
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Mondays: cleaning + one work task
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Tuesdays: something else
And then… don’t deviate.
If you finish early, rest.
Don’t start another task.
Trust me—this alone can change your life.
If you’re struggling to create a plan and get things under control, my printable organiser for busy mums is perfect for that!
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Plan the night before
Making sure the boys have everything ready for school—including socks—dramatically reduces my morning anxiety.
I also try to lay out my outfit the night before.
Because nothing says “great start to the day” like running around like a headless chicken, desperately searching for tights that don’t have a massive hole in them.
Small planning.
Less chaos.
Much calmer mum.
3. Ask for help—seriously
I get it.
Asking for help can feel like admitting you’re failing.
But the truth is, you’ll fail by not asking.
I genuinely wonder where this belief came from, that we’re supposed to do everything alone.
Because it hasn’t always been this way.
Look at our grandmothers, our great-grandmothers, even our mothers.
Help was a natural part of motherhood.
No one questioned it for a second.
I also like to compare motherhood to running a business.
No successful person has ever built anything entirely on their own.
Motherhood is no different.
If you want a happy family, if you want to build an empire—you can’t do it alone.
It’s literally impossible.
So, and I’m saying this with all the love in the world: suck it up and get as much help as you can.
And remember this too: asking for help doesn’t just support you, it helps others feel needed and valued.
Especially older people.
Knowing they still matter, that they’re still useful, can quite literally save lives.
4. Model the life you want your kids to have
Here’s the truth bomb: your kids learn more from what they see, not what you say.
If you’re constantly stressed, running on empty, and never taking time for yourself, guess what?
They’ll internalise that as normal.
They’ll think that being frazzled, anxious, and burnt out is just how life works.
But here’s the empowering flip side: if your kids see you taking care of yourself, asking for help, setting boundaries, and working on your personal growth… they”’ internalise that as normal too.
Realising this is still one of my strongest driving forces.
5. Offload your feelings
Keeping everything bottled up is exhausting too.
And no, just venting to your husband isn’t enough.
Sometimes you need to be brutally open with someone who will really hear you.
So here’s what you’ll do:
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Pick one friend or mum group you trust – someone who will actually listen, someone you trust and know won’t judge you.
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Be brutally honest – don’t just skim the surface. Talk about the stress, the guilt, the overwhelm, the intrusive thoughts… The harder it is to say, the more you need to say it.
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Enjoy the relief – you’ll see how much lighter you’ll feel after letting it out. Your friendship often grows stronger too, because vulnerability builds deeper connection. And if you speak to a fellow mum, you’ll likely realise you’re not alone in your struggles, which is such an incredible thing to feel.
6. Use the power of compound effect for self care
This is what many don’t understand.
You don’t need retreats or spa days to feel better.
It’s the tiny almost invisible things you do daily that make the biggest difference.
Think of it like the compounding effect.
You know how saving £1 a day adds up over time?
Your small self care moments work the same way.
Five minutes of breathing in the morning, a quick stretch, or even looking outside the window for 5 minutes might feel insignificant, but do it every day, and the effect compounds.
Suddenly, your patience, energy, and mood are much better.
7. Let go of perfection
You know what’s crazy?
There are around 8 billion people in the world – none of whom are perfect – yet somehow, you think you should be.
Mad, right?
The need for perfection usually doesn’t come from nowhere.
It often grows from old childhood wounds.
So if you want to let go of perfection, you’ll need to address to those parts and start reparenting your inner child.
What I often do is this: when I talk to myself, I imagine I’m speaking to the 8-year-old me.
Sometimes it’s the teenage me.
It depends on which version needs reassurance in the moment.
This is incredibly empowering.
Another thing you can do is picture your younger self and ask her:
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What do you want?
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What do you need from me?
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Why do you feel you have to be perfect?
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How can I help you let go of that pressure?
Don’t force the answers.
Just observe and see what comes up.
If she needs love, you’ll need to give her the love she may not have received for years, maybe decades.
And remember only you can give your inner child what she need.
Speak to your inner child daily.
I promise you, it will change your life.
To sum it up…
Motherhood doesn’t have to feel hard.
With the right support, mindset, and tools, it can feel lighter.
It will feel lighter!
What tip are you going to apply today?
Let me know in the comments or drop me a DM on Instagram.
I LOVE hearing from my readers!
In the meantime, here are some of my other posts you might enjoy:
