Ivana Poku Are you taking tons of photos of your children?
Let me tell you a little story.
At the beginning of my motherhood journey, I wasn’t big on taking pictures of my newborn children.
Not because I didn’t want memories, but because I was completely overwhelmed.
My emotions were everywhere. Intrusive thoughts. Postnatal anxiety.
I was just trying to make it through the day.
I snapped a few photos here and there, mostly to send to family. But that was it.
As time went on and things settled emotionally, I found myself reaching for my phone more often.
To capture their milestones, the funny little things, the sweet moments that felt too precious to lose.
Whenever we were at soft play or the park, and they did something cute, I’d instinctively reach for my phone.
If I missed it, I got frustrated.
Sometimes I’d even try to recreate the moment just to get the photo. “Do that funny face again!” “Stand just like that!” “Wait, don’t move!”
Then I started this Mumsjourney blog, and at first, I used only my own photos.
So the pressure to take “perfect” pictures grew even stronger.
That became my norm for years.
Until one day, I read a post by another mum. She’d built a successful blog too – but shared something that stopped me in my tracks.
She said she deeply regretted spending so much of her kids’ childhood behind a camera.
Every holiday. Every birthday. Every outing was about getting “content.”
She missed the moments that actually mattered.
And although she eventually stopped, she couldn’t get those years back.
Reading that hit me right in the chest.
I wasn’t quite there yet, but I saw myself heading in that direction.
Spending more time taking photos of my children – or regretting the ones I didn’t take – than actually being in the moment.
And suddenly, I started seeing it everywhere.
Mums at baby groups or parks, taking photo after photo.
So focused on capturing it… they weren’t really there.
Of course, this is not to shame or judge mums who do, I am just saying I felt this wasn’t right for me.
I wanted to be more present. For them and for me.
Not long after that, I was scrolling through my husband Yaw’s phone gallery.
He had maybe a dozen photos of the kids over the last couple of years. And you know what?
They felt so special.
I looked through them slowly. I smiled. I got teary. It felt meaningful.
Then I looked at my gallery – thousands of pictures of my children I never even glance at.
And I realised… it wasn’t the quantity that made them special. It was the intention behind them.
That’s when I made the decision to stop the constant photo-taking and instead enjoy the moments with the kids.
To capture the memories in my mind, and not on camera.
Sure, I still take pictures of my kids, but only when something truly feels worth capturing. A birthday. A big moment. A once-in-a-while fun moment.
Not every time my children do somethign cute or funy (which would be a full time job as I have three of them who do a LOT do cute and funny things :)).
And a few months later, I can tell it was one of the best decision I have ever made.
I am more present, more relaxed, and less pressured.
We have more fun.
Most importantly – I’ve realised something big:
When my kids grow up, I don’t want them to remember a mum who was always taking pictures of them.
I want them to remember a mum who was looking at them.
A mum who saw them. Who was with them.
Because at the end of the day, they won’t remember the perfectly framed pictures.
They’ll remember how they felt when they were around me.
And that’s the memory I want to frame forever.
Have you ever felt torn between capturing the moment and living it?
Let me know in the comments or DM me on Instagram – I’d love to hear your take! 🙂
With love,
Ivana xx
