Ivana Poku Third Baby After Twins: How Life Changes (Again!)
Thinking about having a third baby after twins? Or maybe you’re just curious what that life looks like?
Well, here’s my story.
When our twins were born, literally days later people started asking (as they do!) if we were planning to have more kids.
At first, my answer was a hard no.
But as the boys started growing up and becoming more independent, I slowly opened up to the idea.
By the time they turned five, I knew I wanted another baby.
Why?
Why I Wanted a Third Baby After Twins
Well, as a mum of twins, there was a lot I felt deprived of.
The number of activities I could do with them were pretty limited. No swimming classes, no baby yoga, no baby massage… to name but a few.
I would often envy singleton mums at baby groups who could fully focus on one child, while I spent most of the time chasing one – or both – of mine.
I coudn’t really enjoy most of the activities. Especially once they started walking, in opposite directions. (of course!)
I fully realised this around the time they began using the toilet.
My mum was visiting, and we were at a local soft play. She was watching Mason while I took Henry to the toilet. When he finished, I helped him wash his hands… and it felt so magical.
Becasued I could actually do the full process with him, without having to run after the other one two seconds later because he was splashing water all over the bathroom… or chasing the first one again, who’d be back in the toilet unrolling all the toilet paper.
I loved that quiet, simple moment. Just me and him, focused on one little task. It was magical. And honestly? I felt a pang of sadness that something so simple was such a rarity for me, and that I don’t get to enjoy it more often. (don’t get me wrong, having twins has a lot of benefits and I talk about it more in this post.)
I simply wanted to experience that feeling of having just one. I mean, it wouldn’t really be just one in our case, of course, but still.
I craved that experience.
The First Weeks with Baby #3
When baby Yaw was born, I experienced what they call “baby blues”, but what I call normal and expected feelings of a new mum. (I talk more about the realities of being a new mum in this post.)
I felt lost, sad, lonely… sometimes even regretful.
As a PPD survivor, I had wondered how I’d feel this time around, but today I know that your life doesn’t just change with your first baby. It changes with every child.
Sure, your first brings the biggest and most shocking shift.
But with your third (and any additional child), even though the change might not feel as massive, it’s still a big change.
Your body and mind have to adjust to a new life again.
Third Baby After Twins: The Joys, Guilt, and Chaos of Motherhood
What surprised me most was the overwhelming guilt.
Guilt that I couldn’t spend as much time with the twins anymore.
At times, I even resented the baby.
It felt like he had taken my twins away from me. Like he came between us.
I became obsessed with spending time with the twins.
I would cry when they left for school and cry again when they came home and I couldn’t spend time with them. Not in the same way as before, anyway.
Luckily, these feelings didn’t last long, they naturally dissolved within a month.
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Life with Three Kids: Finding Our New Family Dynamic
The first year was pretty much all about adjusting to our new family dynamic and finding our balance.
There weere moments when I’d foeget I had three children.
One time, when we drove the twins to a school disco, we all got out of the car, walked to the school, and only about two minutes later realised that we’d left baby Yaw in the car.
Now, I know this is more common than people think. (I mean forgetting you have a new baby, not actually leaving them in the car.)
Sometimes, when we were out and about, I had to consciously remind myself: You have three children now.
The Sleep Game: What I Did Differently with Baby #3
When it comes to sleep, one of the biggest struggles for new parents, I took a completely different approach this time.
I learned a lot from our experience with the twins, and before baby Yaw was born, I reached out to a baby routine expert to help us establish a sleep routine early on.
This proved to be life changing! Baby Yaw slept through the night from three months old and was the most chilled baby I’ve ever seen.
Big Brothers & Baby Bonding
His brothers loved him from day one and were incredibly protective.
Henry especially wouldn’t even let strangers look at him!
It sometimes put us in slightly awkward situations, but honestly, I was kind of proud of him in those moments.
It was magical watching them all play and interact.
A completely new dynamic… and at times, it felt like I was dreaming.
Toddler Tantrums and Choosing the “Easy” Path
When baby Yaw was around two, the tantrums began, and they were intense.
Even though I knew exactly what to do – and what not to do – not just when it came to tantrums, but parenting in general… having three kids often meant I simply didn’t have the energy to always do the “right” thing.
I often took the easy path.
I gave in. I let things slide. I gave them what they wanted, just to have a moment of peace.
Should You Have a Third Baby After Twins?
Having a third child after twins is a unique experience for everyone.
Every family is different and how it goes depends on so many factors, including your children’s gender and the age gap between them.
Baby Yaw is five years younger than the twins, which can be tricky.
They’re all still young enough to want to play and explore, but their interests are very different.
Yaw often wants to do things his brothers find boring, while he wants to join in on the activities they enjoy, but he’s just too young for them.
The fact that all three are boys also means our house is a pure madhouse.
Boys generally have more energy compared to girls. They wrestle, fight, jump on each other, scream, and are just… loud.
(It’s not exclusive to boys, of course, some girls are the same, but in our case, it’s full-on.)
It would’ve been a very different dynamic if one of them had been a girl.
At the time I’m writing this, baby Yaw is nearly four.
I’m curious to see what the future holds, but these are my experiences and insights so far.
I’ll be sharing another post on this topic when they’re all teenagers.
Something tells me I’ll have a lot to say then, too. 😄
Motherhood with three, especially after twins, has stretched me in ways I never imagined.
It’s loud, chaotic, emotional, and magical all at once. (just like motherhood is for all of us regardless of the number of children).
Have you had a third baby after twins? Or are you considering it?
I’d love to hear your story or questions in the comments below, or connect with me over on Instagram where I share more honest moments of mum life.
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