Discover 8 shocking facts about motherhood that no one else will tell you and that most mums wish they had known earlier!
When I was pregnant with my twin boys, I spent a lot of time preparing for their arrival.
I read tons of parenting books.
I attended antenatal classes.
I asked questions and spoke to other mums.
I sought a new mum advice.
However, when the boys were born, I felt like I knew NOTHING.
All the knowledge I had previously gained vanished and it felt like I was thrown into the deep end from one day to the next.
But this is how MOST new mums feel.
Most new mums enter motherhood with unrealistic expectations and experience a huge SHOCK when their baby arrives.
Why is that?
Truth is that there is still a lot of stigma and unspoken truths surrounding the life of a new mum.
Most antenatal classes focus too much on information around childbirth but offer zero or only poor information about life AFTER the baby arrives.
This results in new mums being unprepared for life after the baby which often leads to a lot of unnecessary struggle and postnatal mental health issues.
But don’t worry!
In today’s post, I am sharing 8 crucial motherhood facts that will help you set clearer expectations and enter motherhood with more ease.
Here they are!
1. You may NOT love your baby right away
Many mothers (including me at one point) expect that the moment they see their child, all their maternal instincts immediately kick in and they won’t feel anything but unconditional love.
But did you know that in most cases, this just does NOT happen?
Personally, it took several months until my love for children fully formed and settled.
Truth is that maternal love is a process that develops.
2. Breastfeeding does NOT happen naturally
When I was expecting the boys, I got asked Do you want to breastfeed? a lot!
However, no one told me that breastfeeding does NOT happen naturally.
Breastfeeding is a skill that needs to be taught and the process of learning can be very long and painful.
Personally, it took me by surprise when I found out that a baby does not latch automatically, or that sometimes despite all your efforts and practice, it just doesn’t work.
I definitely support breastfeeding, but should it affect your mental or physical wellbeing, then it’s definitely best for you and your baby to try different options.
Your mental well-being is what matters the most!
3. You will NOT feel happy all the time
Especially in the beginning, you will HATE motherhood at times.
And that’s ok!
The first weeks and months of motherhood can mean streams of tears, questioning yourself and the decision to have children, and constant wondering if you’re a good mum – and it’s all totally normal and natural.
Remember, becoming a mum is the biggest change in a woman’s life so you can’t expect to go through it like a summer breeze.
Your life changes from one day to the other but you simply CAN’T adjust to it from one day to the next.
You will, but it takes some time.
4. You won’t enjoy every moment
Many expecting mums (including myself) think that they will love and enjoy every moment of motherhood.
But this is rather a movie moment.
In reality, there will be moments and days when you will hate being a mum.
And that’s ok.
Becoming a mum is a huge change so it takes some time to adjust to the changes.
Not enjoying every moment is therefore totally normal and natural, especially in the first weeks and months.
5. Planning is mainly for peace of mind
Many future mothers plan many things ahead.
I was no exception.
I’d educated myself on raising children years before becoming a mum.
I’d known how I’d raise them, what they would be allowed, how I’d build up my authority, how I’d get them to do what I wanted… Ha!
Once my children were born and reality hit, I was forced to slightly re-evaluate a lot of things.
Many of my previous resolutions were off the table quite naturally, with the idea of following them now seems quite naive.
Truth is that there are things we simply CAN’T plan or know ahead.
It is certainly sensible to think through beforehand how you’d proceed in individual things, but don’t be afraid in certain things to just go with the flow and wave your resolutions if circumstances require it.
Children open the gates to a whole new world that neither of us can understand until we enter it.
6. Children change especially your inner life
They say children change your life.
I’d always thought that this statement referred to a new lifestyle people obtain when becoming parents.
While this is certainly true, having children changes, especially your inner life.
It changes the way you see yourself, the world, and other people on many levels.
That is the biggest change many mums weren’t prepared for.
7. You will be taken aback by your own emotions
No woman feels the way she thought she would after becoming a new mum.
8. You simply can’t do it on your own
Most new mums feel that they don’t need to ask for help.
As if asking for help meant they have failed.
This is one of the most common misconceptions.
Being a new mum request more daily tasks than one can possibly handle.
Feeding, changing nappies, soothing, nap time, bedtime, washing, cleaning, shopping, not to mention the relationship with your partner…
It’s like trying to place 12 eggs in an egg box with only 9 compartments.
If you cannot fit them in, it doesn’t mean that you are a bad mum.
It just means that there is only so much we can do in a day.
So ask for help as often as you can.
Ideally, before your baby arrives!
Remember that asking for help doesn’t mean that you are weak. It means that you choose to remain strong.
8 Motherhood facts most mums find out TOO LATE
There you go!
Which fact has surprised you the most? Let me know in the comments!
PS. Do you want to discover more truths about motherhood you won’t find anywhere else (not even on Google!), read authentic stories from first-time mums, and gain priceless tips & exclusive support for new mums? Then check out my book Motherhood – The Unspoken!