Is It Normal To Feel Lonely As A New Mum?

Becoming a new mum is magical in so many ways, but let’s be honest, it’s also not what we imagined.

Your life changes overnight, and your mind and body often can’t keep up.

You feel lost, confused, and maybe even find yourself whispering: What have I done?

Even though you’ve got this gorgeous, healthy baby you always wanted…

Even though you’ve got a loving partner and people around you who care…

You feel lonely.

And if that’s you right now, please know you are not the only one feeling like this.

I was exactly the same.

And believe it or not, most new mums feel this way too (they just don’t say it out loud).

In this post, I’ll walk you through why loneliness as a new mum is completely normal, why we don’t talk about it, and – most importantly – how you can start feeling connected again.

But first, helllo! I’m Ivana, the founder of MumsJourney, author of Motherhood: The Unspoken, and an award-winning maternal mental health advocate. After giving birth to twins in 2016, I went through severe postnatal depression (PPD). It was honestly the hardest time of my life. But it also opened my eyes to how many mums are silently struggling.

Since then, I’ve made it my mission to help mums feel less alone. And if you’re here today, reading this, I hope you leave feeling lighter and understood.

So let’s dive in.

Why New Mums Feel Lonely After Having a Baby

1. Your World Shrinks Overnight

Before your baby, you could go out for coffee, hit the cinema, or nip to the shops whenever you felt like it.

Now?

Your whole day revolves around feeds, nappies, and broken sleep.

It’s no wonder you feel trapped.

Loving your baby and feeling lonely at the same time doesn’t cancel each other out.

Both can be true.

2. Hormones and Emotions Are on a Rollercoaster

Your brain chemistry after birth is wild.

Hormones shift dramatically, which can leave you feeling anxious, weepy, or disconnected.

Loneliness doesn’t mean you’re a bad mum, it means your body is adjusting to its new normal.

3. Your Inner Child Awakens

Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: your inner child needs care too.

Suddenly, she feels abandoned while all attention shifts to your baby.

I remember thinking, Who’s going to look after me now? Who’s going to chase away the monsters under my bed?

That’s a huge, shocking shift, and it can trigger feelings of loneliness.

4. Social Comparison Sneaks In

Scrolling through social media and comparing yourself to other mums makes things even worse.

You may have the impression that everyone else is having a great time with their baby, jost not you.

The reality?

Most mums feel lonely too, they just don’t talk about it.

Why New Mums Stay Silent About Loneliness

Because motherhood is painted as the happiest time of your life.

So when you feel isolated, ashamed, or disconnected, the guilt and shame kicks in.

You worry people will think you’re ungrateful or a bad mum.

So you stay quiet.

And loneliness thrives in silence.

So let’s flip that script: talking about loneliness isn’t complaining.

It’s connecting.

Overcoming Loneliness as a New Mum: Simple Steps That Work

The good news?

You don’t need big, life-changing actions to feel less lonely.

It’s about small, tiny steps. Simple shifts.

That’s what changes everything.

Let’s look at what they are:

1. Accept Loneliness as Part of Early Motherhood

Loneliness doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you’re a new mum.

Motherhood is an identity shift, and accepting that this feeling is normal helps lift the guilt.

Once you stop fighting it, you can start moving through it.

2. Talk to Other Mums (Even if It’s Awkward)

Reaching out can feel scary, but it’s the fastest way to break loneliness.

Join local baby groups, postnatal classes, or even online communities.

When another mum says, “I feel the same way,” it’s like a weight lifts instantly.

Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first, but the relief is so worth it.

And by opening up, you create a safe space for other mums to do the same.

Win-win.

3. Take It One Day at a Time

When you’re exhausted, thinking about “forever” feels overwhelming.

Instead, focus on today.

Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do to feel better?

And then do it.

4. Create Your Supportive Community Of Mums

They say “it takes a village to raise a child”, and they’re right.

You’re not meant to do this alone.

And you can’t.

The sooner you start asking for (and accepting) help in all shapes and forms, the sooner loneliness will become just a distant memory.

I talk more about how to get help here:

Feeling Lonely As A New Mum Isn’t a Weakness

Being a new mum is hard.

Feeling lonely is part of that journey. But it passes. Slowly.

Every mum experiences this in some form.

Every mum questions herself.

But the more we talk about it, the sooner we break the silence and the stigma – for ourselves and for future mums.

First Steps to Overcome Loneliness as a New Mum

If this post resonates, here’s a simple challenge: today, send one honest message to one person. That’s it.

You don’t need to explain anything. You don’t need to find the “perfect” words. Just say how you really feel.

That one small step is the spark of connection you’ve been craving. And from there? It only gets lighter.

Good luck, mama, you’ve got this!

And remember, you’re never alone.

If you have any questions, feel free to drop them in the commments below.

With love and belief in you,

Ivana xx

Is It Normal To Feel Lonely As A New Mum?