Ivana Poku When I was pregnant with our twins, I genuinely thought I had all the information I needed.
I read all the pregnancy books.
I followed every “what to expect” Instagram account out there.
I went to antenatal classes and paid close attention.
I believed I was prepared. Really.
Then… I came home with two tiny humans, and reality hit me like a truck.
Not because it was hard, I expected it to be hard.
But because it was hard in ways no one had actually explained.
This is one of the biggest things no one tells you about motherhood.
And let me tell you, that difference?
Huge!
Why pregnancy preparation doesn’t prepare you for motherhood
Most pregnancy info is about birth.
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Labour stages
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Pain relief options
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Feeding choices
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What might happen in hospital
Useful? Absolutely.
But the thing is: birth is one day (in most cases anyway).
What comes after? That lasts forever.
Pregnancy books and classes prep you for that one big day, not for life with a tiny human at home.
In other words, pregnancy books and classes prepare you for birth, but they don’t prepare you for motherhood.
Very little time is spent talking about how life feels once you become a mother.
And trust me, it’s not what you think.
What no one tells you about becoming a mum
Listen up, my lovely.
A woman doesn’t become a mum the moment she gives birth.
It’s a process.
And it takes time to adjust to life with a baby.
Just think about how long it took you to adjust to any big change in your life.
This is probably the biggest change of all.
So no matter how much you want it, it doesn’t erase the adjustment period.
And sometimes… that adjustment is ugly and messy.
Most books, classes, and social media barely touch on this.
I remember thinking I had everything sorted.
But I hadn’t prepared for:
- The fact that lack of sleep isn’t the hardest part — it’s still having to care for a newborn while exhausted
- The emotional shock of suddenly being responsible for a tiny human
- Managing visitors, expectations, and boundaries
- The mental load that quietly builds up
This is the side of motherhood pregnancy books don’t prepare you for.
And that’s exactly why preparing for life after baby matters more than you can imagine.
Related posts:
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- Pregnancy Anxiety: What’s Normal and When to Get Support
- What to Pack in Your Hospital Bag (Realistic List) – 2026 Guide for First Time Mums
How to prepare for life after baby
Preparing for birth is important, yes.
But it’s just as important to prepare for life after baby.
Here are a few things I highly suggest you do early:
1. Have an open mind
It’s great to have a plan, but life rarely sticks to the plan. Birth included. I planned for vaginal birth, and ended up with an emergency C-section. Life throws curveballs, and that’s okay. Being flexible can save a lot of stress.
2. Plan for help and support
Figure out who can help, friends, family, or even neighbours. Ask them to help you now. Trust me, you will need help, and the sooner you line it up, the better. Even just someone who can hold the baby while you shower or make a cup of tea is worth GOLD.
3. Plan for Me time
You will need time for you, or your sanity might sneak off without warning. Make a promise to yourself to keep doing the things that bring you joy, even if it’s in small doses. Do you love singing, dancing, painting, or reading? Promise yourself you won’t stop doing what you love. It will benefit you, and your baby.
4. Have a few quick meals ready
Stock up on freezer meals, chopped ingredients, or easy snacks…. they’ll save you a LOT of time and pain. You can even set up a meal train with friends or family so someone helps with cooking while you focus on the baby. Or you can ask a friend to organise it for you.
5. Think ahead about mental wellbeing
Decide who or what services you’ll reach out to if you ever feel low. Tell them about it, and even ask them to check in on you regularly, before you ask for help. Oh boy, this simple step is a HUGE gamechanger.
6. Educate yourself on postpartum depression
Even if you think you’re educated on the topic, you probably aren’t. I was educated about it from my midwife — from a few midwifes actually, who told us about it, but when it hit me, I didn’t recognise it at all. Reading articles, blog posts, and real life stories from other mums can make a huge difference. It helps you spot the signs early, know that it’s common, and feel less alone if it happens to you. I share my PPD story in this post, and in more detail in my book Motherhood – The Unspoken.
7. Talk to other mums
One of the best ways to prepare for life after baby is to talk to other mums.
Ask them the real questions, the ones you might feel too shy to voice:
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“What do you wish you’d known before your baby arrived?”
- “How did you really feel in the first months of being a mum?”
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“What little things would you have done differently?”
Hearing honest answers from people who’ve been through it can be eye opening. Sometimes it’s practical tips, sometimes it’s just reassurance that everything you feel is normal. They both matter and can help you a lot.
Even if it may feel awkward at first, most mums are thrilled to share what they learned. And honestly, you’ll probably walk away with a few little “aha” moments that make life with a newborn feel a whole lot easier! (And put you a few steps ahead of many mums who didn’t have the courage to ask.)
I share real stories from 10 different first-time mums in my book Motherhood – The Unspoken. They talk about how they coped with common challenges, what surprised them most, and what advice they’d give to their past selves – and to you.
Final word
If pregnancy prep teaches you how to give birth, then what prepares you for everything that comes after?
That’s the gap most mums fall into.
Not because they did anything wrong.
But because no one gave them the information about life after baby.
If you want a sneak peek into life with a baby and discover what no one tells you about motherhood, grab my FREE guide with 9 motherhood facts I (and most mums) wish we’d known before giving birth.
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