Postnatal Depression 6-9 Months After Birth: Why It Can Appear Later Than You Think

 

Let’s start with my story…

 

When our twins arrived, I experienced what they describe as baby blues.

I:

• didn’t feel like a mum
• didn’t fall in love with the babies at first sight
• didn’t enjoy them
• missed my old life terribly
• wanted to turn back the time
• cried almost constantly

I call this normal and expected feelings of a new mum.

I knew about baby blues and postnatal depression but no one explained it to me properly.

That’s why I felt guilty and ashamed about how I felt and hid it from the world.

This silence eventually led to postnatal depression and possibly also psychosis.

I say possible because neither was officially diagnosed, I only realised what it was after I pulled through.

I experienced the most intense stages of PPD when the twins were around 6 months old.

My dad has been visiting for a couple of weeks, and when he left, I broke down.

I felt lonelier than ever, eve when I had a wonderful supportive husband beside me.

I started to believe everyone would have been better off without me – especially my children.

At one point, I even had a strong urge to hurt one of the twins.

It was the scariest experience I don’t wish on anyone. As if someone had taken over my mind and soul.

Luckily, when the boys were around 8 months old I started to feel better.

I share my PPD story in more detail in the post My Honest Postnatal Depression Story (And How I Recovered),and in even more detail (along with more real stories from other first time mums) in my book Motherhood – The Unspoken.

If things feel really hard right now, I made a FREE PDF that might help.

It’s full of simple tips that helped me when I felt lost and hopeless after having my baby.

It’s not theory, or complicated advice,  just real life help from a mum who’s been there.

 

Why does PPD sometimes appear later?

 

Here are the main reasons:

 

1. The adrenaline of becoming a mum wears off

When the baby arrives, everything is new and hectic.

You’re feeding, changing nappies, and learning how to be a mum.

After a few months, things slow down a bit and you find some kind of routine.

YOur mind quitens down and feelings you might have been repressing or ignoring can start to be louder.

2. Sleep deprivation starts catching up

When you have a baby and don’t sleep is harder than most of us had thought.

You’re not just tired , you have to look after your baby on top of tiredness.

This can be brutal.

Especially if it lasts for months.

And even when your baby starts sleeping more, you can still feel exhausted.

Sleep deprivation can make it harder to cope with every day challenges.

See also my posts:

• 13 Life-Saving Tips to Cope With Postpartum Sleep Deprivation
• When Do Babies Sleep Through the Night? (Real Ages + What Actually Helps)

3. Expectations increase

At the beginning, everyone knows things are hard. They expect you to be tired and overwhelmed.

But when your baby gets older, people often think you’re okay.

Or – more often – you think you should be ok.

So if you’re not, it can make you feel guilty or like you’re failing in a way.

You may feel hat other mums are coping better than you.

4. Returning to work can trigger difficult feelings

Going back to work after maternity leave is a big change.

You may:

• miss your baby terribly
• feel guilty
• worry about childcare
• worry about the new and unknown

All of this can have an impact your mental health.

5. Less support compared to first weeks

In the first weeks of having a baby, friends and family check in on you all the time.

But after a few months, it often starts to slow down.

People may think you’re doing fine now that your baby is older.

Or perhaps you think you should be doing better now – even if you’re not.

But every stage of motherhood comes with new challenges. There’s not finish line you cross when you should “officially” be coping well.

When the support disappears, it’s easy to start feeling alone and that’s when postnatal depression often begins to show up.

Postnatal depression doesn’t follow a timeline.

It can happen when your baby is a few weeks or few months old.

No matter when it starts – your feelings are valid and you deserve support.

 

Common signs of PPD at 6-9 months postpartum

 

Here are the common signs of postnatal depression that starts a few months after having a baby:

• Feeling sad most of the time
• Feeling tired all the time, even after rest
• Feeling angry and irritable more than usual
• Feeling disconnected from your baby
• Feeling numb
• Guilt or shame
• Feeling anxious or on edge most of the time
• Difficulty concentrating
• Feeling like you’re failing
• Crying more than usual – for small or no obvious reason
• Not enjoying things you used to like
• Feeling like you are “not good enough” as a mum
• Wanting to be alone and avoiding people
• Feeling like you don’t recognise yourself anymore

If any of these symptoms last longer than 2 weeks, reach out for help.

 

“I thought I should feel better by now”

 

It’s easy to fall into comparison or self blame trap.

But this only makes you feel worse.

There is no right or wrong way to feel as a new mum.

If you’re not okay, regardless of how old your baby is, it’s important to get help.

You didn’t “miss your chance”.

It’s never too late when it comes to help and support.

 

Risk factors

 

Here are some risks factors that can increase the chances of late-onset postnatal depression:

• Previous mental health difficulties
• Traumatic birth
• Relationship challenges
• Financial stress
• Sleep deprivation
• Loneliness / isolation
• Multiple children or multiples

 

When should you seek help?

 

When your symptoms last for at least two weeks, it’s very likely you’re experiencing depression.

Especially if it affects your daily life and makes it hard to function.

However, don’t wait for things to be “too bad” or “to make sure” it’s PPD.

You deserve to feel better so as soon you feel something is off, that’s enough a reason to reach out for help.

It’s not your job to find diagnoses, your job is to keep yourself and your baby well and safe.

Speak to your GP, doctor or a mental health care professional.

If you find it hard, speak to someone you know and trust.

 

Things that can help while you reach out for support

 

Here’s what helped me when I struggled with PPD:

• Talking honestly to someone you trust. Not the surface level stuff, tell someone what’s really going on inside of you. The more honest you are, the more it helps. It’s not easy, but it’s the best medicine.
• Joining a mum support group. Depression thrives in silence and isolation. Join local baby groups or classes, buggy walks, or anything else you have available in your area. You can also create your own supportive community.
• Spend time outdoors. It’s so simple but being out in the fresh air has a magical impact on your mood. Whenever I get out, all the stress and tension melts like snow in the sun.
• Accept and ask for help. Asking for help is one of your superpowers. So use it as much as you can. It doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re smart.

I talk more about what helped me recover from PPD in my post How I Recovered From Postnatal Depression (And How You Can Too).

 

Final word

There you have it!

I hope this post helped you get more clarity and understand why postnatal depression can appear even months after birth.

It’s an illness, and it needs to be treated.

If you ignore it or wait for things to get better by themselves, you may end up feeling much worse.

There is no right or wrong time to get help.

If you’re struggling in any way, it’s time to seek help.

 

FAQs

 

1. Can postnatal depression start months after birth?

Yes, postnatal depression can start days, weeks, or even months after birth (up to around a year). It is an illness and it doesn’t say anything about your as a mum or a person.

2. How long can postnatal depression last?

t’s different for everyone. For some mums (and dads), it lasts a few weeks or months. For others, it can last longer – especially if they don’t get the right help and support. The good news is that it is treatable and with the right support, you will get better.

 

3. What’s the difference between postnatal depression and normal mum exhaustion?

If it’s “just” exhaustion, you usually feel better after sleep, rest, or a break. When you have postnatal depression, rest doesn’t help, and you may still feel low or overwhelmed. It can make everyday things feel really hard, like cooking, cleaning, or looking after your baby.