I talk about postnatal depression so often but have never written about what postnatal depression actually is…

Personally, I am familiar with everything that relates to postnatal depression, but I am aware that this is not the case for everyone. There are plenty of people who still have no clue what it actually is, or even perceive it as some kind of a whim on the part of the sufferer.

So let me do something about it… What is Postnatal Depression (PND)?

I believe there are two different ways of defining PND, a professional and a personal definition.

According to NHS, “postnatal depression is a type of depression that many parents experience after having a baby. It’s a common problem that affects more than 1 in every 10 women within a year of giving birth.” (please note that this goes for the cases that have been reported but there still are many of them who weren’t). PND can also affect fathers and partners.

Symptoms of postnatal depression

Many women feel a bit down, tearful or anxious in the first week after giving birth. This is often called the “baby blues” and is very common.

The “baby blues” don’t last for more than 2 weeks after giving birth. If your symptoms last longer or start later, you could have postnatal depression.

Postnatal depression can start anytime in the first year after giving birth. NHS also mentions signs that you or someone you know might be depressed include:

  • a persistent feeling of sadness and low mood

  • lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in the wider world

  • lack of energy and feeling tired all the time

  • trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day

  • difficulty bonding with your baby

  • withdrawing from contact with other people

  • problems concentrating and making decisions

  • frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby

This definition pretty much sums up what happens with a person who suffers from postnatal depression.

In regards to my own definition based on personal experience, I would say that postnatal depression is an illness that can totally take over your brain and often over your life. It is the darkest place your soul can get to and the hardest place to come back from. You cannot control your thoughts or deeds. As though your thoughts belong to someone else.

You don’t see any point in anything. You don’t understand people who laugh and enjoy life. All you feel is an intense emptiness. As if someone sucked all the life out of you. You are just a body without a soul. All you want to do is cry. You see no point in living. You are not yourself anymore…

The worst thing, you have no control over these feelings and thoughts. However hard you want them to stop, you are not able to. This is what makes postnatal depression an illness. Trying to dismiss depressive feelings is like trying to dismiss the natural urge to breathe. When depressed, you simply can’t voluntarily change the way you feel.

That’s why it’s crucial to seek professional help.


Causes of postnatal depression


The cause of postnatal depression isn’t completely clear. Some of the factors it has been associated with include:

  • previous experience of mental health problems

  • biological causes

  • lack of support

  • difficult childhood experiences

  • experience of abuse

  • low self-esteem

  • stressful living conditions

  • major life events

However, even if you don’t have any of these symptoms, having a baby is a life-changing event that can sometimes trigger depression. Your life drastically changes from one day to another and it takes time to adapt to this new situation. Not to mention how stressful and exhausting looking after a small baby can be and the outside pressure new mothers are exposed to.

All this in a combination of sleep deprivation can easily cause for the parents to feel down, or depressed. It’s also very important to know that postnatal depression can start anytime during the first year after having a baby.

Treatments for postnatal depression

First and foremost, you need to TALK.

It can be challenging to talk to a professional as a first choice, so you can start with someone you trust. Whether it’s your partner, friend, parent, sister, brother, grandparent… Talk to them about how you feel.

Talking will release a massive pressure off your shoulders and will immediately make you feel better. Like I say in my post What should you do when feeling depressed?, talking literally saved me.

It might seem like a minor thing to do, but as a new mother, you need to give yourself time to adapt to the new situation. Your life changes from one day to another but you cannot also process all these changes from one day to another. It takes time during which you need to make your life as easy as possible.

And you need to talk! Talking will help you to process your emotions and open a space for new emotions to come in. Not to mention that it can also give you the confidence to seek professional help. And this is crucial, especially when suffering from severe depression when you even have to force yourself to get out of bed.

Professional support and effective treatments include:


Psychological treatments (also known as talking therapies) can help you change your thinking patterns and improve your coping skills so you’re better equipped to deal with life’s stresses and conflicts. As well as supporting your recovery, psychological therapies can also help you stay well by identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviour. There are many different talking treatments that can be effective in treating depression:

  • cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

  • group-based CBT

  • interpersonal therapy (IPT)

  • behavioural activation

  • psychodynamic psychotherapy

  • behavioural couples therapy – if you have a long-term partner, and your doctor agrees that it would be useful to involve them in your treatment.

  • Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT)


These may be recommended if your depression is more severe or other treatments haven’t helped; your doctor can prescribe medicine, often along with psychological treatments. There’s a lot of misinformation about antidepressant medication. It can be very useful in the treatment of moderate to severe depression.

Other sources of support 


Exercise has been shown to help boost mood in people with mild depression.  Even a 10 minute walk every day can make wonders in the way you feel.

Healthy diet

Eating well when experiencing postnatal depression can be a tough call but it is one of the best things that you can do for yourself and your recovery.

Make time for yourself

Try to do activities that you find relaxing and enjoyable. Ideally, the things you enjoyed doing before you became a parent.

Online forums

There are several Facebook groups for postnatal depression and anxiety. These groups are closed so their content is confidential and is visible to the members of the group only. Of course, you can find other online forums outside Facebook too.

Support groups

You can find a few support groups in your area, for instance on PANDAS  Foundation UK website. You can also visit the group called A safe place for mums, dads, and bumps I run on a regular basis in Welwyn Garden City, Herts.

As you can see, there are countless ways of how you can start feeling better and get help. However, I know it can be really hard to take the first step, but trust me, the first one is the most important one. 

The next steps follow more naturally after the initial, crucial move. If you think you might suffer depression and are not sure, don’t lose too much time trying to work it out. You can use NHS Choices’ depression screening tool, but like I always say, as long as you feel something is not quite right, it is not ok and you need to do something about it.

Regardless of it is baby blues, depression, or “just” a low mood… Because when it comes to health, no problem is too small.

Note: If the situation is serious, if you are concerned or feel like you are a threat to yourself or your children, call 111 immediately!



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