Last Updated on September 7, 2026 by Ivana Poku
You’re expecting his baby, and you can’t stand him.
Maybe not all the time (though it’s fine if you do!), but there are moments when you snap at him for wearing socks that are too red.
You can’t help, but feel unseen (even when he’s trying).
You know he hasn’t done anything wrong, yet somehow it feels like he has.
Everything he does gets on your nerves.
The way he breathes, the way he eats, the way he shows you love…
I get it.
I truly do.
In my first trimester with the twins, I resented my husband, Yaw, with passion.
Mind you, we had only been dating for a few weeks at the time, so we were still in that stage where a couple is getting to know each other.
And anything he did would irritate me.
I felt bad about how grumpy and irritable I was, but I just couldn’t help how I felt.
If you wonder if it’s normal to hate your husband during pregnancy, you’re in the right place!
And of this is your first pregnancy, make sure to also check out my full first pregnancy guide. It will help you understand what’s normal (and what’s not) and what to expect in these early stages.
In this post, I’ll share why you can’t stand your husband right now, and what helps to make him a little less… irritating.
Related posts:
- Why Pregnancy Makes You Angry With Your Husband
- Why Your Husband Makes You Feel Alone During Pregnancy (And How to Cope)
- Pregnancy rage: why everything suddenly annoys you (and what helps)
Before we dive in, I want to say something important:
If you’re worrying that something is wrong with your relationship, it isn’t.
Pregnancy can bring up emotions and challenges that nobody really prepares you for.
Honestly, I wish someone had sat me down before becoming a mum and explained that protecting your relationship is just as important as preparing the nursery.
Because everyone tells you about baby clothes, hospital bags, and birth plans…
But hardly anyone talks about the emotional changes that come with the pregnancy, and how to cope with them.
And if you’re finding things too overwhelming right now, grab my 27 free affirmations that I designed specifically to bring you instant relief when pregnancy emotions feel like too much.
Why you really hate your husband during pregnancy
Let’s be honest – pregnancy is basically a full time job.
Well, actually more like a 24/7 job.
You’re growing a human and I think many of us don’t fully realise what a big deal it actually is.
Your hormones (and your whole system) are running wild, and your emotions are running the show.
So when your husband loudly chews his cereal, forgets to close the cupboard, or breathes a little too close to you – it’s not really him you’re mad at.
It’s everything happening inside you.
Does it make sense?
Let’s break it down a bit and take a look at what’s really going on.
1. Hormones are the puppet masters
Pregnancy hormones are not just responsible for morning sickness and sore boobs.
They also mess with your mood, big time!
People often connect hormones to physical impact, but your feelings and emotions are impacted just as much.
One minute you’re fine, the next you’re crying because he bought the wrong pasta.
This doesn’t say anything about you as a person.
You’re not crazy, and you’re not a b**ch.
You’re just… pregnant.
2. You feel unseen and lonely (even when he’s there)
Sometimes it’s not about what he’s doing, but what he isn’t.
He can’t possibly understand what your body is going through, and that can make you feel alone.
And loneliness is a horrible place to be.
You can feel lonely even if your partner is right there beside you.
Because after becoming a mum myself, I realised something nobody had warned me about:
A baby doesn’t just change your schedule, it changes your relationship too.
It changes the way you communicate, support each other, handle stress, feel loved, and much more.
While antenatal classes prepare you for birth, they don’t teach you how to navigate your relationship as you become parents.
As a result, many couples struggle during pregnancy and after birth, and slowly start to drift apart.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It starts small: you’re too tired to talk, too drained to be intimate, too busy just surviving each day…
And before you know it, you’re living side by side, but feeling more like housemates than partners.
My husband Yaw and I have a very strong relationship, but this stage still shook us.
If you want to know what helped us stay strong, we share our experience and advice in a FREE mini course Feel Supported By Each Other.
Now, let’s talk about another reason your husband might suddenly be driving you insane.
3. Your brain is protecting you
This one is interesting.
Research from the Association for Psychological Science backs this up – pregnancy hormones actually reshape the brain to help prepare it for the demands of motherhood.
Your brain becomes super focused on keeping you and your baby safe.
That means you notice everything: sounds, smells, mess, people’s moods.
And sometimes, even little things your husband does can feel like a big deal.
He leaves his socks on the floor? Your brain goes, “That’s not safe! Too much chaos!”
He forgets to bring you the snack you asked for? “How can I trust him to remember the baby’s stuff?!”
It’s not really about the socks or the snack. (told you you’re not crazy!)
It’s your brain trying to keep things calm and under control.
It’s protecting you, even if it doesn’t always make sense.
In other words – you’re turning into a mum, and your brain is already getting ready to take care of your baby.
One thing that can help you immensely right now is getting your thoughts out of your head.
Sometimes your brain just needs somewhere to put all those worries, emotions, fears, and random thoughts before they start spiralling (and before you find yourself getting annoyed at your husband for simply existing!).
A pregnancy journal is one of the most beautiful ways to do this.
It gives you a safe space to write down what you’re feeling, document your pregnancy journey, and capture all those little moments you might otherwise forget.
And honestly, I wish I had done this.
I never kept a pregnancy journal during my pregnancy with the twins, and it’s one of my biggest regrets. Looking back now, I would absolutely LOVE to read what I was thinking, feeling, and experiencing during those months before becoming a mum.
4. Your mind is full of worries and millions of questions
As a first-time mum especially, you’re standing at the edge of a big unknown.
It’s a huge uncertainty, and your mind is full of questions:
- Will I cope with labour?
- What if the baby cries all night?
- What if I don’t know what to do?
All of these “what ifs” trigger tension and make small annoyances feel huge.
Your husband becomes an easy target – not because he’s doing anything wrong, but because your brain is trying to process all the unknowns at once.
You may also like:
- Relationship after kids: Expert shares her tips to stay close
- Pregnancy Is Not A Magical Time: Honest Truths for First-Time Mums
How to stop hating your husband during pregnancy
Now, let’s talk about how to deal with all the wild emotions.
Believe it or not, you’ve already done the first step.
Understanding and acknowledging your emotions with kindness puts you back in control.
Here’s what helped me and what can help you too:
1. Talk openly to your husband
They say communication is key, and it’s true!
Even though it sounds obvious, many mums don’t talk to their partner about how they really feel.
We assume they just know… or we expect them to read our minds.
That’s a big mistake. It only leads to a lot of frustration – and more snapping.
So talk to him.
If you snapped, explain why.
Not right away while you’re still upset, but later, when you’re calm.
Tell him gently what’s going on inside you, and what might help you next time. (without blaming or judging!)
It’ll make things so much smoother when you both understand each other.
Honestly, this is the most important step of all.
I know it can be hard to speak up when your emotions are all over the place, but it’s the most important thing you need to do right now.
2. Feel your emotions
Here’s the truth: if you try to fight your emotions, they only get stronger.
Snapping is often just a result of built-up emotions.
They need a way out, but they can come out in a healthy way.
If they don’t, that’s when you snap.
So how do you release them in a healthy way?
Close your eyes and feel what’s there.
Notice where in your body you feel it.
Don’t push it away. Don’t judge it.
Just feel it. Let it be there.
Just watch it, like an observer, without getting pulled in.
You’ll be amazed how much lighter you’ll feel when you stop fighting your emotions and just let them pass through.
3. Step back from your emotions
Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel them, remind yourself: “This isn’t me, it’s just my pregnancy hormones.”
Or say something like: “This is temporary. I’m okay. My brain and body are just working hard right now.”
This helps you separate who you are from what you feel.
It’s not your fault.
It’s just part of the wild pregnancy ride.
4. Talk to your emotions
Talk to your emotions like you would to a friend.
(I know it sounds weird, but trust me on this one.)
For example: “This isn’t me. I’m not crazy, I’m just pregnant. My feelings are valid. This is only temporary. My husband is amazing, and he knows I love him. Everything is okay. I’m safe.”
It will feel silly at first, but it works like magic.
It calms your mind, releases tension, and reminds you that you’re in control.
If you want more affirmations like this, grab my list of 27 free affirmations. I designed them specifically to bring you instant relief for when pregnancy emotions feel too much.
Remember, you and your husband are on the same team
Pregnancy can make you feel like you’re losing control of your mind and body.
But here’s the thing: you’re not losing it.
You’re adjusting.
Your body and brain are doing something absolutely incredible, growing a new life.
That takes a lot out of you, and it’s no wonder you sometimes feel like snapping at the closest human in sight.
If you truly comprehend that you are growing a human, you can’t feel bad about feeling anything!
So please be gentle with yourself.
You’re allowed to feel all of it: the love, the irritation, the fear, the tears.
None of it makes you a bad partner or a bad mum.
It just makes you a mum.
And always remember, your husband is learning too.
You’re both figuring out how to be parents.
The more you talk, the more you understand each other.
And the more you understand each other, the more calm and love you create.
Final word
There you go!
As an expecting mum, it’s completely normal (and expected) to feel all over the place.
Remember, it’s all part of the process.
Your body and brain are doing something huge, and your emotions are just adjusting.
You won’t feel like this forever, I promise!
FAQs
1. Why am I so snappy and irritable during pregnancy?
Hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, morning sickness, and the stress of preparing for a big life change can make even small frustrations feel huge. You’re not a “bad wife”, your body and mind are just under a lot of pressure right now.
2. Why do I have an aversion to my husband during pregnancy?
Pregnancy aversion to your partner is extremely common and has nothing to do with how much you love him. Heightened senses, hormonal changes, and your brain’s protective instinct can all make you feel irritated or repelled by him – especially in the first trimester. It’s temporary, though, I promise.
3. Why does my husband make me feel alone during pregnancy?
No matter how loving he is, your husband simply cannot fully understand what your body and mind are going through – and that gap can feel like loneliness. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you need. Most partners genuinely want to help but just don’t know how until you tell them.
4. How can I stop hating my husband?
Here are a few strategies that can help a lot:
- Pause before reacting and take three deep breaths
- Notice what triggers you and address that
- Talk honestly with your partner about how you feel
5. Can pregnancy hormones really make you hate your husband?
Yes. Hormones like progesterone and estrogen can affect mood, stress response, and emotional sensitivity. You might overreact to small things or feel disconnected, even from someone you love deeply.
6. Should I feel guilty for feeling this way?
Not at all. You didn’t choose to feel this way. Your emotions are influenced by hormones and big changes that come with the baby.
7. Can counselling or therapy help me stop feeling resentment?
Absolutely. A good therapist can help you:
- Understand the source of your feelings
- Learn various coping techniques
- Communicate effectively with your partner
- Reduce stress and emotional overwhelm
You can also check out also my post with expert tips on how to keep your relationship strong after children (and in pregnancy too).
8. Are these feelings permanent?
Many women notice that negative feelings towards their partner ease in a few weeks or months after birth. If you feel resentment at times, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. It just shows that it needs a bit more attention and care.
9. Can talking to my husband help?
Absolutely. Even saying, ‘I’m struggling with my feelings right now’ can massively reduce tension and help him understand what you’re going through. Most partners respond well when you approach them calmly, without blame or judgement.
Your next read:
- Pregnancy is NOT a magical time
- 6 Weeks Pregnant: Symptoms, Survival Tips and Things Nobody Tells You
- I Read All the Pregnancy Books – Motherhood Still Shocked Me (Here’s Why)
- Pregnancy anxiety: what’s normal and when to get support
PhDr. Ivana Poku is the author of Motherhood – The Unspoken, an award-winning blogger and maternal mental health advocate. Through her work, she is on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen, heard and supported. Ivana is also a mum of three boys, including twins, and lives with her family in a small coastal town in Scotland.
