Ivana Poku You love your children – you really do.
But sometimes, it takes every bit of willpower not to scream at the top of your lungs.
Or run away.
(Totally normal feelings, by the way.)
Sometimes the pressure is just so intense that you do lose it — sometimes for a reason, sometimes just because you’ve had a rough day and everything feels too much.
You feel like you’re juggling way too much every single day, and you can’t seem to catch a breath.
You’re exhausted. Drained. And you can’t help but wonder — how did my life become one where two minutes of peace feels like a luxury?
This is not how you pictured motherhood.
You wish you could be more patient with your kids, handle the tantrums and chaos with calm, and enjoy the little moments more.
Maybe you’ve tried all the things: meditation, yoga, breathing exercises… and they worked for a bit — until your kids pushed your buttons again (even the ones you didn’t know you had).
And suddenly, you’re back to square one.
I get it. I was exactly the same.
I used to drown in motherhood stress and burnout, feeling impatient, constantly on edge and questioning if I was doing things right.
But not anymore.
Today, I deal with challenging mum moments with so much more ease and calm.
In this post, I’ll share exactly how you can be more patient with your kids too.
I’ll share a powerful mindset shift that helped me bring a lot more peace and joy into my motherhood journey.
It’s actually so simple that you’ll wonder how you haven’t done it sooner!
Let’s dive right in.
The Motherhood Mindset Shift That Changed Everything
I was on a coaching call with my mindset coach, talking about a particularly rough week with my kids. My husband had been away for a few days for work, and I was left to handle everything on my own.
(Single mums — I still don’t know how you do it!)
He listened patiently and then gently pointed out that I was too focused on the struggle of motherhood.
That I’d been giving too much energy to how hard it was.
(This was based on a few conversations we’d had before, so he knew my patterns well.)
At first, my defensive side jumped in. I started explaining, justifying, and listing all the reasons why my boys were “a handful.”
I remember thinking, he just doesn’t get it… if he spent one hour with them, he’d understand!
But he kept holding up the mirror and helping me see something I hadn’t realised before:
It’s not that my boys are “hard.”
It’s my perception of them that makes it feel hard.
It’s my perception of motherhood that makes it feel overwhelming — not motherhood itself.
I’ll be honest, it took another coaching call (and a few personal tantrums on my end) for it to really sink in. But now I know he was 100% right.
And once I shifted my perception of motherhood… everything started to feel lighter.
Why Motherhood Feels Hard (And How to Shift Your Perspective)
You see, when you face a challenge in life, it’s never the challenge itself that’s the problem.
It’s how you perceive it that can make it feel like a problem.
Two people can experience the same situation, but react completely differently.
The same event can break one person, while another barely notices it.
Motherhood works the same way.
You see what you focus on.
When I constantly perceived my boys as “hard work,” of course that’s exactly what I experienced – my days felt exhausting, frustrating, and emotionally heavy.
You’ve probably noticed this in other parts of life too.
Like when you’re looking for a new pushchair… and suddenly you see pushchairs everywhere.
That’s because your brain is focused on them.
When I switched my focus and stopped seeing my boys as “hard work,” things began to shift.
I began to feel calmer, happier, and more patient.
And eve more so, when I started spending more time noticing their fun, expressive, and curious sides.
It’s not that I didn’t see those sides before.
I just let the “hard bits” take up most of the space.
And my experience of motherhood reflected that.
How Social Media Keeps the “Motherhood Is Hard” Story Alive
Another factor that feeds the “motherhood is hard” narrative is society and (social) media.
When you’ve had a tough day and start scrolling through Instagram, it’s so easy to find post after post about how exhausting motherhood is.
And while it’s comforting to know you’re not alone, it can also reinforce that belief that motherhood is hard and make it harder to be patient with your kids.
Before you know it, your mind is trapped in a vicious cycle that keeps repeating the same story.
But the good news?
You can stop that cycle right now.
By changing your focus.
It’s Time to Drop the “Motherhood Is Hard” Narrative
Starting today, I want you to drop the “motherhood is hard” narrative for good.
I know, it’ll feel weird and uncomfortable at first.
Because let’s be honest, it’s often easier (and more comfortable) to feel like a victim of our circumstances than to take responsibility for how we respond to them.
But if you truly want to take your power back, that’s where it begins – with taking full responsibility for your life.
There will always be moments in motherhood that feel hard.
Of course there will.
I still have moments when I cry or shout.
But I don’t let those mometns define my motherhood anymore.
I see them for what they are – fleeting moments and opportunities to learn and grow.
If you want motherhood to feel lighter, calmer, and more joyful, start by changing the story you tell yourself.
Stop saying “it’s hard,” and watch how everything around you begins to shift.
And if you want an extra boost, grab my FREE guide: 19 mantras that calm your mind in seconds!
You’ve got this, and I’d love to hear how you get on!
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