Sad Your About Kids Growing Up Too Fast? Try These Simple Tips!

Some time ago, I started feeling that heavy weight in my chest at the thought of my children growing up too fast.

It didn’t hit all at once – it showed up in quiet little moments.

Like when I kissed them goodnight and stroked their heads as they were falling asleep, I would feel tearful and almost panicky at the thought that they would grow up one day.

That I would lose this.

That they wouldn’t ask me to do bedtime with them.

That they wouldn’t need me as much anymore.

That we wouldn’t do cuddles and kisses a million times a day.

It felt like someone was ripping my heart out.

At times, I even wondered if I was depressed about my child growing up, because the sadness felt so heavy and… well, confusing.

Sure, on a logical level, I knew that it was normal for them to grow up.

That it’s a privilege to watch your children growing up.

That our relationship might get even better then.

My head knew all this.

But my heart didn’t feel it.

Some days, I would be absolutely fine, but some days I would be teary.

Over time, it became more and more frustrating as I realised that by being sad about the future, I wasn’t enjoying the present with my kids.

I also didn’t want to be one of those obsessed mothers who can’t let go of their children.

So I was determined to find a way to stop feeling sad about them growing up.

I desperately wanted to learn how to not be sad about my kids growing up, without repressing my emotions or pretending it didn’t bother me.

And luckily, I eventually did.

Today, I want to share with you exactly how.

In this post, I cover:

How to cope when your kids growing up feels heartbreaking
A simple but powerful exercise that eases nostalgia and mum guilt
A fresh perspective that helps you enjoy the present stage of motherhood, and look forward to what’s next

But first, real quick…

If the thought of your kids growing up makes your heart ache, I created something special for you.

A free “Letter to Your Child” templates with thoughtful prompts to help you capture the little things about them right now – before this stage quietly becomes a memory.

One day your child will grow up. But this letter will let them see exactly how loved they were in this moment.

Download the free templates here and start writing your letter today.

How to stop feeling depressed about your child growing up too fast

The first shirt in my perspective came one day, out of the blue, when I realised I am doing this about me.

When in fact, it’s about them.

I realised I don’t own my children, and how selfish I am when I don’t want them to grow up.

Remember how excited we were to grow up as kids?

It was a great mixture of expectations, the unknown, hopes and dreams.

It’s a beautiful stage we as parents are supposed to celebrate and enjoy.

The moment I shifted my focus to them rather than me, a whole new world opened up.

I decided then that instead of feeling sad about what isn’t anymore, I would enjoy and celebrate what is.

Every stage of their journey. Our journey.

Because every stage comes with its own beauty. Yes, challenges too, but also beauty and joy.

This is what we often miss.

We focus too much on the good things from the past, that we miss the good things right in front of us.

I also feel excited about watching them grow.

Not just physically, but to witness them gathering experiences, shaping opinions, developing friendships, dealing with challenges, creating, loving, making a difference.

There’s SO MUCH to look forward to!

One of my all-time favourite quotes says, “Don’t cry that the sun goes down, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.”

It is pretty much what this is.

The good is not going away. There’s just new good. Different good.

And this is why I want to share something really special with you.

That panic you feel – the “please don’t let this slip away” feeling – isn’t about wanting your kids to stay small forever.

It’s about wanting to remember.

To remember who they are right now, the way they sound, the way they need you, the little things your brain won’t hold onto forever.

Why your baby feels like they’re growing up so fast

If you’re feeling sad about your kids growing up, remember that your brain is replaying the highlight reel, not the whole story.

Your brain has this clever way of protecting you: it slowly erases the hard parts and keeps the happy memories on replay.

That’s why, when you look back, it feels like everything was perfect, even though at the time you were exhausted, overwhelmed, and just trying to get through the day.

What you’re seeing now is your memory’s highlight reel, not the full story.

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How creating memories helps ease the sadness about your baby growing up so fast

I got this advcie from a 91 year old lady, and boy was she right!

Creating memories helps us cope with all kinds of loss, whether it’s children growing up or losing someone we love.

The best thing you can do right now is create memories!

And I don’t mean you have to go 100% and make every day “magical.”

It’s all about the little moments: having a snuggle, watching a show together, laughing, sharing a bedtime chat…

Magic lives in the small moments, not the “big” events.

And once your kids grow up, looking back on these little moments will mean EVERYTHING.

It will also help you cope so much better in the present.

I also highly recommend capturing these memories in a way that works for you.

For me, it’s photo books and memory boxes.

When our twins were one, my sister made a gorgeous photobook filled with memories and pictures from their first year.

At the time, it didn’t feel particularly emotional, but looking at it now? It’s absolutely incredible.

We often go through the book with the boys at bedtime.

They ask for stories, and we talk about what it was like when they were tiny.

I promise, having the pictures in physical form makes a HUGE difference – it’s not remotely the same as scrolling through photos on your phone.

Personally, I recommend you print your photobook with Mixbook.

Why?

Trust me, I’ve researched a lot of photobook companies, and what I love about Mixbook is the absolutely gorgeous layouts!

Here are a few of them:

I also love the fact that you can customise everything, and how it turns your jumble of photos into something that actually tells a story.

And the quality is AMAZING.

Apart from photobooks, you can also create calendars, prints, and canvases.

And if you use this link, you will 50% off your first order.

You are welcome. 😉

(If you want help creating your first photobook, check out the post How to create a custom children’s photobook – step by step tutorial)

Another beautiful way to ease that “they’re growing up too fast” feeling is writing a letter to your child about who they are right now.

You can use my free “Letter to Your Child” templates and prompts to help you with this and put those memories into words before time moves on.

Write a letter to your future self to stop feeling sad about kids growing up

Another thing I suggest is to write a letter to the future You.

I did this a few years ago that helped massively to lift the sadness when I look back at when my kids were younger.

The thing is, when we look back, we often only remember the good stuff.

Our brain filters out the exhaustion, the endless nappies, the sleepless nights, and the chaos we lived through.

In hindsight, it all looks like a bed of roses and often leaves us with guilt that we didn’t enjoy it more.

So, here’s what I did.

On one of the hard days, I wrote a letter to my future self.

The self who would one day be sad and miss this stage of motherhood.

In the letter, I reminded myself of everything that is currently hard and that I definitely WON’T miss – the tantrums, the 3 a.m. wake-up calls, the feeling of never having a moment to myself.

But I also wrote about what to enjoy right now, in the future – more freedom, new experiences with the kids, sharing jokes they are now too young to understand, first grandchild… and so much more.

This letter works as a magical reminder that sets me straight.

When I feel that pang of nostalgia or guilt, I read it.

And I remember – it wasn’t all a bed of roses.

I remember the stress and exhaustion my brain had blocked out and realise there is so much to look forward to in the future.

I talk more about how to cope with motherhood stress here:

Final thoughts: How I stopped feeling sad about my kids growing up

So to sum it up, growing up is beautiful.

It’s like watching a rose grow into its full beauty.

You wouldn’t feel sad if the rose blossomed, would you?

So why be sad when our kids blossom?

It’s a miracle. A magic of life.

And I feel incredibly privileged to witness it.

And here’s the beautiful thing I’ve realised: the more I lean into the present, the more memories we make.

The more I stop gripping tightly onto what was, the more space I create for what is becoming.

Of course, I still feel that ache sometimes.

It’s normal. It’s human.

But it doesn’t drag me down anymore.

I remind myself that we’re growing together.

Motherhood is a constant letting go and becoming at the same time.

I know I won’t be the centre of their universe forever.

But I don’t even want to be.

Not in the same way, anyway.

Because I know I will always be their mum – no one will ever replace that.

I’ll be their safe place and their anchor. The one they come back to when life gets noisy or hard.

Isn’t that amazing?

I know that they won’t ever love me less.

The love will simply expand, transform and be more rooted over time.

So if you’re reading this and you’re in that messy, teary place, feeling like your babies are slipping through your fingers, just remind yourself: this isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning.

Their growth isn’t a loss. It’s a blooming.

You don’t lose them – you grow with them.

So today, I choose to cherish the bedtime hugs and kisses.

But I also choose to look forward to the big conversations, the car rides filled with their music, the laughter over shared jokes they wouldn’t understand now, the wisdom they’ll share, the adventures we haven’t even imagined yet.

I choose to honour the past and feel excited about the future.

Because what’s ahead is full of magic!

If you’d like a simple way to hold onto this season of motherhood, don’t forget to download my free templates and prompts to capture who your child is right now – before this stage becomes a memory.

One day your child will grow up.

But these letters will let them see exactly how loved they were right now.

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FAQs

Is it normal to feel sad about your child growing up?

Yes, it is completely normal to feel sad about your child growing up.

Watching your child grow is beautiful, but it also means change. And every change – even positive one – often brings a sense of grief.

Because when we’re gaining something new, we also lost something.

So it’s completely natural. You’re not ungrateful or “too emotional”.

The goal isn’t to eliminate the sadness entirely, but to feel it alongside gratitude, joy, and presence.

Why do I feel depressed about my child growing up?

If you feel depressed about your child growing up, it’s often because their growth highlights identity shifts, and the passing of time.

Motherhood (or parenthood) can become such a core part of who we are that when our children become more independent, it can feel like we’re losing ourselves again.

Sometimes the sadness is simply nostalgia. Other times, it may mean:

Fear of being needed less
Grief over a stage ending
Worries about the future
Unprocessed exhaustion from earlier years

If your feelings affect your daily life, it’s important to speak to a GP or mental health professional. But for many parents, this sadness is a normal emotional transition and passes naturally with time.

How to cope with kids growing up?

If you’re wondering how to cope with kids growing up, here are a few gentle shifts that truly help:

Focus on what is, not what was – every stage has its own beauty that the previous one didn’t have.
Create memories – ordinary moments like bedtime chats, shared jokes, watching TV while cuddling – are what you’ll treasure most and what’ll help you cope with sadness in the future.
Capture this season – write letters, make photo books, or write a journal so you don’t feel like the memories are disappearing or will be forgotten.
Look forward to what’s coming – growing up doesn’t mean growing apart. You’re not losing them – they’re still them. It means new conversations, new adventures, and deeper connection. Coping isn’t about not feeling any sadness, it’s about opening your mind and widening your perspective.

How to not be sad about kids growing up?

If you’re searching for how to not be sad about kids growing up, the truth is: you don’t need to stop the sadness completely.

Instead of trying to shut it down, try reframing it.

When you shift your focus from “I’m losing this” to “I get to witness this,” everything softens.

You’re not losing your child.

Why am I feeling sad about my kids growing up even on good days?

Because love makes us aware of time.

You can be happy, grateful, and fulfilled – and feel sad when you notice how independent they’ve become.

Those mixed emotions are part of parenthood.

Joy and grief often live side by side.

When should I worry about these feelings?

It’s normal and common to feel emotional about your kids growing up.

Consider seeking support if:

The sadness feels constant or too heavy (or both)
You feel hopeless or disconnected
You lose interest in things you normally enjoy
You lose your appetite or sleep over it