Ivana Poku Being a mum can feel exhausting.
And sometimes that exhaustion gets in the way of actually enjoying the precious moments of motherhood.
I know, I’ve been there.
For years.
I was trying manage everything – kids, work, marriage, friendships, the house… and somehow squeeze in time for me.
At the time I’m writing this post, our twins, Henry and Mason, are 9, and baby Yaw is 3.
So yes – different ages, different needs, different energy levels.
Mornings start with a full-on interrogation before we even get to the school run:
“Mummy, can I…?”
“Mum, where’s my…?”
“Mum, but pleaaaase!”
“Mum, Mason just…. !”
“Mum, did you see….. ?”
“Mum, how many days till Christmas?”
“Mum, why are you…?”
Meanwhile, baby Yaw is throwing tantrum #2 of the day, my husband Yaw is trying to work from home (or rushing to catch a train), and the clock hasn’t even hit 8 a.m.
We wake up between 5 and 6 because when baby Yaw’s up, we’re all up.
So often, by the time the school day even begins, I’d already be drained.
That was my daily reality for eyars – running on autopilot, going from one task to the next, and barely feeling like I had a moment to actually enjoy being a mum.
But here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be this way.
You can absolutely enjoy motherhood more without feeling exhausted all the time.
It didn’t happen overnight, but over time I discovered simple ways to slow down, ease the stress, and carve out more space to actually enjoy motherhood.
In this post, I’m sharing exactly how you can do the same.
But first, hello!
My name is Ivana, and I’m the founder of MumsJourney – a blog dedicated to supporting mums through every stage of their motherhood journey. I’m also the author of Motherhood: The Unspoken and an award-winning maternal mental health advocate and mentor.
After giving birth to my twins in 2016, I experienced severe PPD. It was the hardest time of my life, but it also showed me how much there is to motherhood people don’t talk about and how many mums don’t get the support they need.
Since then, I’ve made it my mission to help other mums feel heard, supported, and less alone.
In this post, I cover:
- How to slow down and be more present as a mum
- Ways to reduce parenting stress & overwhelm
- Simple yet powerful tips to enjoy motherhood more
Remember: It’s not about doing everything “perfectly” or never feeling stressed.
It’s about small, intentional changes that help you slow down, and really savour more moments with your children.
If you’re ready, let me show you how I went from running on empty to being a happier, and more present mum – so you can too.
Why I Had to Stop Operating at 200% and Start Enjoying Motherhood
It took me a long time to realise this, but I often operated at 200% .
When the boys came home from school and had no activities, I felt I had to do something with them.
Even with an amazing support system and a strong village around me, the moment I was alone with the boys, I’d push myself way past my mental and physical limits.
No wonder I was constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, and had almost no energy left to enjoy moments with my kids.
The Moment I Realised Exhaustion Was Holding Me Back
If you asked me why I was pushing myself like this, I’m not sure I fully understood myself.
It was this nagging feeling that, to be a good mum, I had to do something with them.
When they spent too much time on screens, I felt guilty – as if I wasn’t giving them enough of myself.
Everywhere you look on social media, you’re hit with posts about how precious these moments are.
I knew it deep down, and that pressure was probably what drove me.
My husband Yaw kept telling me this wasn’t healthy – not for me, and not for them.
And I’d try to slow down, I really did… but over time, I’d always slip back into my old habits.
Then one day, it hit me: when I’m exhausted, I get more stressed, more snappy, and I end up dismissing my boys when they try to talk to me – because, honestly, I’m just done.
How Pushing Myself Too Hard Made Everything Worse
It was during a session with my mindset coach, Haydn, that it hit me like a wall of bricks.
By pushing myself to 150%, I wasn’t giving myself a chance to be the best mum I could be.
I’d stay in the park for an extra hour – even though my mind and body was screaming for rest – just to keep them happy.
But the more I pushed, the less I could actually enjoy the moments I was working so hard to create.
I’d be wiped out for the rest of the day, rush through bedtime, or sometimes skip it altogether.
And in that moment, I just knew I had to stop.
Stop running at 200% all day and start being intentional about where I put my energy.
To slow down and listen to my body more.
To spend less time hovering. Not because I didn’t love them. But because I did.
To let them get bored sometimes… to do their own thing without me feeling guilty.
Because when we act out of guilt, we rarely do it for the children – we do it for ourselves.
So my perspective changed almost overnight.
Learning to Set Boundaries
From that day, I started being more aware of how I distribute my energy.
I make sure to take breaks before I reach breaking point.
I say no when my body says no.
I prioritise my wellbeing so I can actually be present for my kids.
I’m not saying your story is the same, or that your exhaustion comes from the same place as mine.
But here’s the truth: exhaustion is not your default – it’s a signal that something needs to change.
And belive it or not, it’s a choice.
Why Exhaustion Is a Choice
For some mums, it’s the choice not to ask for help.
For others, it’s not carving out any ‘me time,’ not setting boundaries, or not seeking support when needed.
Here’s the key: no matter how objectively stressful a situation might seem, it’s not the situation itself that creates your stress – it’s how you respond to it.
Two mums could face the exact same challenge, yet one feels drained and overwhelmed while the other navigates it with more ease.
Overwhelm is not automatic; it’s shaped by the mindset and decisions we make.
These choices, big or small, add up.
They influence your energy, your mood, and your mental health.
Left unchecked, they can lead to exhaustion, burnout, and even postnatal depression.
Remember: Exhaustion is not a badge of honour or proof of your dedication, it’s your body telling you to pause and reset.
Small Changes That Help You Enjoy Motherhood More
So starting today, make a choice to be a mum who’s more present and relaxed (as much as possible, because after all, you’re still a human) – not one who’s running on empty, pushing beyond her limits.
Start choosing yourself.
Say yes to rest.
Set boundaries that protect your energy.
Ask for help without shame.
Because the best gift you can give your children isn’t endless activity or perfect moments – it’s a happy mum.
I know you’ve heard this many times before, but people say it for a reason.
When you take care of yourself, everything else falls into place.
You can enjoy motherhood more – no matter how stressed or overwhelmed you feel right now.
FAQs: How to Enjoy Motherhood and Beat Overwhelm
Is it normal to feel exhausted as a mum?
Yes! Feeling drained, stressed, or stretched too thin is completely normal. Motherhood comes with constant demands, but learning to manage it can help you feel more present and joyful. It’s okay to be overwhelmed, but it’s not okay to do nothitng about it.
What if I feel guilty taking time for myself?
Guilt is normal – and can even be healthy – but always remember: the most amazing gift you can give to your children is your happiness.
Can professional support help with stress and overwhelm?
Yes. Mindset coaches, parenting specialists, or counsellors can help you identify patterns, set boundaries, and develop strategies to feel more in control and enjoy motherhood.
How can I enjoy maternity leave with my baby?
Maternity leave can feel completely overwhelming at first, especially with a newborn. My best advice? Keep things simple. Find little routines that actually work for you and your baby, grab tiny moments to rest, and please – don’t pressure yourself to do it all (because let’s be real, you can’t). Ask for help, enjoy those precious bonding moments, listen to your guts, and follow your intuition… And always keep in mind – this is not forever.
Have questions or need a little extra support?
Drop them in the comments and I’ll personally respond as soon as I can.
With love,
Ivana xx
