Ivana Poku They say ‘it takes a village’, but it seems there are no villages anymore!
Motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows.
Especially in this day and age – being a mum can feel incredibly hard and isolating.
You’re exhausted, feeding your baby constantly, and juggling the endless list of chores.
You love your baby more than anything, but some days, it all just feels like too much.
Some days, you just want to run away and scream.
And the hardest part? You often find yourself navigating it all alone.
Not easy at all!
But when you think about it, motherhood wasn’t always this hard.
Years ago, mums raised 4, 5, even 6 children – without paid help or endless burnout.
So what was their secret?
They didn’t do it alone.
They had a village.
They had a supportive community of mums around them.
They helped one another with housework, child care, errands, emotional support, you name it.
They raised children together.
Somehow, we’ve drifted from that.
These days, new mums often feel isolated, unsupported, and unsure where to turn.
And that’s not natural. Or healthy.
So what’s the solution?
We go back to what worked before – but we give it a modern “twist”.
Let’s stop waiting for help to come to us… and start building our own supportive community of mums.
Here’s how you can do it:
Step 1: Gather Your Village
Start small. Think of mums you already know – or go out and meet new ones.
You’d be amazed at how many other women are also looking for connection!
Here are some great places to find mum friends:
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Baby and toddler groups
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NCT classes
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Facebook groups for local mums
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Local buggy walks
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Apps like Peanut or Mush
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Community centers and libraries
Get together with a few local mums and agree to start your own little village together.
They don’t need to be your best friends right away; they just need to be people who understand what you’re going through.
You don’t need a big group to start.
Even 2–3 mums is enough to create something powerful.
Step 2: Create a Simple Support System That Works for Everyone
This is where the magic happens.
Once you have your group (again it can be as small as 2 mums), come up with a system that works for all of you.
Here are a few ways you can support one another:
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Take turns helping with housework (e.g., swap ironing or folding laundry days)
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Cook meals in batches and share
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Babysit each other’s children
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Do the weekly shop for another mum
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Plan fun mummy meetups, coffee mornings, or nights out
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Go on family-friendly trips together
You can rotate tasks weekly, or dedicate certain days to help different mums. These small, consistent acts of support can make a huge difference.
There’s no one right way – just what works best for you.
You might decide to help one another with grocery runs, take turns bringing meals, or watch each other’s babies so you can have a break or catch up on your own errands.
The idea is to take the pressure off yourself, share the load, and build a network where you all feel truly supported.
Step 3: Reap the Benefits (And Watch Your Life Change)
By doing this, you’re not just lightening your load – you’re building something meaningful:
✅ More free time for you: Instead of spending hours doing everything yourself, you’ll find that you get time for yourself to rest, relax, or even pursue your hobbies.
✅ Reduced stress: Knowing that you have your village that gets you can take a weight off your shoulders. You’re no longer alone in this journey.
✅ New friendships and connections: As your circle grows, so do your friendships. Mums in your group will often become your closest allies, as they understand the ups and downs of raising children.
✅ Support you can count on: When you need advice, someone to vent to, or an emergency backup, having a support system means you’re never really alone.
✅ A happier you – which benefits your children too: When you’re supported, you’ll feel more relaxed and confident in your parenting. Your kids will notice the difference, too, as you’re more present and joyful.
It’s a win-win for everyone involved.
Yes, hiring help can be useful.
But building a support system of other mums goes a long way.
Start Building Your Mum Tribe Today
So that’s my “not-so-secret” tip to creating the village you truly deserve.
And that you need.
It’s so simple – and it is life-changing.
The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll wonder why you haven’t done this earlier.
So reach out. Connect. A support each other.
“Your” mums are already out there waiting for you.
Remember: we’re not meant to do this alone!
Building your village will not only help you cope with the chaos of motherhood but also bring you a sense of belonging and camaraderie that can make all the difference.
You don’t have to wait until you’re overwhelmed or burnt out – start NOW, and your future self will thank you.
Let me know if you try this – I’d LOVE to hear how your support circle grows. 🙂
Love,
Ivana xx
