Ivana Poku Did you know that over half of all postnatal depression (PPD) cases are never diagnosed?
Including mine.
For almost a year, I simply felt like I was failing as a mum.
I believed everyone else was having a great time with their babies, just not me.
I left the hospital with my newborn twins (who had spent a few weeks in the NICU), a bunch of leaflets, and my name put down for counselling.
This only happened after I broke down in tears in front of a midwife. But even then, she didn’t realise how severe my illness was.
I had thoughts about hurting my kids.
The worst thing is that my story is far from unique.
I share my full PPD story – and what helped me recover – in my book “Motherhood – The Unspoken”. Click HERE to learn more.
Many new mums leave hospital with undiagnosed postnatal depression, struggling in silence.
And it’s not because they slipped through the cracks.
It’s because the cracks are the system.
The Early Signs I Didn’t Know Were Postnatal Depression
The worst thing about PPD is that you often don’t know that you have it.
The first few days after birth felt like a blur of loneliness, sadness, and fake smiling. I was exhausted, sore, and deeply numb.
I felt like my life was over.
One moment, I regretted having children. The next, I thought I could do this.
I cried every day.
Some call this the baby blues.
I call it the natural feelings of a new mum.
Maybe these were early signs of postnatal depression.
Either way, I felt like a horrible mum.
The “Postnatal Mental Health Check” That Misses the Point
After a few days in the NICU, I went to my first midwife check-up.
She held a questionnaire in front of her and asked me a list of questions:
How are your stitches?
Any bleeding?
Are the babies latching?
Are your bowels moving?
And then, as if it was just another tick box: Are you having any thoughts of harming yourself or your babies?
…While having a pen ready to tick the box off.
I said “No.”
Because realistically, what else could I say?
The truth?
Not likely.
I didn’t even understand what I was going through myself.
This is why so many cases of PPD are missed by healthcare professionals.
Because the question is asked, but not held.
Because mums don’t feel safe enough to answer honestly.
Because we’re terrified. Ashamed.
Because we’re not taught to recognise it’s PPD in the first place.
I Was Given a Leaflet With Emergency Contact – and Sent Home
Before leaving hospital, I was handed a stack of leaflets and told, If you feel low or have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, call this number.
But realistically: What new mum, in the middle of hormonal chaos and complete identity crisis, is going to pick up the phone and call a stranger?
I surely didn’t.
Because I worried I’d be judged.
Because I was scared someone would think I wasn’t safe to be a mum.
Because I was terrified they would take my babies away.
This is why mums choose to struggle in silence.
And let me tell you – struggling in silence is not the easy route.
It’s excruciatingly hard.
But somehow, it still feels safer than speaking up.
Why the Current Postnatal System Fails New Mums
Over the years, I’ve heard many beautiful stories of midwives, GPs, and health professionals providing phenomenal postnatal care.
But I’ve also heard far too many that didn’t.
And that’s not okay.
It shouldn’t come down to luck.
Because one missed sign… one question not asked properly… can lead to a lost life. Both the mum’s and the baby’s.
Here’s the honest truth:
A questionnaire does not equal support. A hotline on a leaflet does not equal safety. Telling mums to “reach out” is useless if they’ve never been taught what’s normal, what’s not, or even what to call what they’re going through.
What New Mums Actually Need
1. Proper Education Before the Baby Comes
Antenatal classes prepare mums for labour and nappies.
But not for rage.
Not for emptiness.
Not for postnatal depression.
Mums should know:
- What early motherhood really feels like (and that it’s far from what we see on Instagram)
- What postnatal depression actually looks and feels like (including real-life examples)
- How to recognise early signs, how to prevent it, and how to recover
- How to cope with common new mum challenges
- That breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally, it’s a skill
- Why it’s crucial to get help, and how to access it for free without guilt
- How to protect their mental wellbeing from day one
(I cover all of this and much more in my course, Happy Motherhood Journey. Click HERE to learn more.)
2. New Mums Need Human Support – Not Just Leaflets
Every new mum should be invited into a real, face-to-face support group. A space where:
- They hear other mums say, Me too.
- They can say, “I’m not okay” without fear or shame.
- They feel seen, heard, and understood.
3. Ongoing Check-Ins with Emotionally Trained Professionals
Not just physical check-ups.
Not just one rushed conversation with a health visitor.
Real follow-ups with someone trained to see the unspoken signs.
Someone who looks you in the eye and says, “How are you doing, really?” And knows how to hear what you don’t say out loud.
This Is How We End Silent Struggles In New Mums
If this blog post stirred something in you, please don’t ignore it.
Forward it to a friend. Share it on your story. Start the conversation.
Because every time a mum reads this and thinks, “That’s me…” We’re one step closer to making silent struggles heard.
And if you want to actually prepare for motherhood – both mentally and emotionally – I created a course for that.
A real, honest, practical tips and support from someone who’s been there.
Click here to check out Happy Motherhood Journey.
With love,
Ivana xx
I share my full PPD story – and what helped me recover – in my book “Motherhood – The Unspoken”. Click HERE to learn more.
