Ivana Poku Reading about Kate Middleton’s illness naturally made me truly sad. I cannot even begin to imagine what they must be going through—both her and all the families battling this life-threatening disease. It is beyond horrifying.
But it also highlights the disparity in how people perceive physical and mental health illnesses.
When I struggled with postnatal depression, for instance, even though it was equally life-threatening, I didn’t remotely receive the same level of support and understanding as people with physical illnesses often do.
To start with, I had no idea it was depression at first. I just felt like I was failing. The lack of relevant education and stigma surrounding mental health often leads people to feel like they’ve failed when they’re simply dealing with a medical condition.
When I mentioned to someone that I was struggling with depression, most people didn’t know what to say. Some were uncomfortable, some looked at me like I was crazy, and some thought I was just ‘bored’ or seeking attention.
Many mums experienced this approach from their GPS or other health care professionals!
But the hardest part was that people expected me to function and get on with daily chores as if I were healthy.
For instance, if I didn’t want to see people (one of the symptoms of depression), some would take it personally or get offended.
I don’t blame them, though, because it’s not their fault.
It is the stigma and false belief that mental illness is something people make up or can control by will that creates these reactions and expectations.
But let me tell you—mental illness is an illness like any other. The only difference is that it is not visible.
Mental illness cannot be impacted or controlled by will. It too eats you up. It takes over your mind and body. It too paralyses you. You cannot ‘snap out of it’. It too can last for years. It too isn’t 100% curable and can come back at any time later in life. It too can be deadly.
I’ll never forget the day I overheard two women discussing their friend who had depression, expressing disappointment in her because they thought she was strong.
At that moment, I couldn’t help but feel angry about the unfairness of it all and sadness about how little support and understanding people with mental illness receive.
It almost makes you feel that having cancer would have been easier because at least then, people would not expect you to function as normal; they would be more understanding and considerate, and show the support you so desperately need and deserve.
I am not joking when I say that expecting someone to ‘snap out of depression’ is the same as expecting someone to ‘snap out of cancer’.
We simply HAVE TO make talking about mental health a natural part of our daily lives – it is the only way we can make a real difference.
Do you agree?
Let me know your thoughts either in the comments or drop me a DM on Instagram!
Love, Ivana xx
