Ivana Poku Preventing postpartum depression (PPD) is insanely simple.
But what’s even more insane is the fact we do nothing about it.
Yes, PPD is an illness, and I’m not a medical doctor who can explain what triggers it from a medical point of view.
But I am a PPD survivor. And I know with certainty what could have helped me prevent it – or at least stopped it from escalating to the depths it did. (I share my full PPD story in this post.)
Before I reveal what that is, let me be clear: following this wouldn’t stop every single case of PPD. Some cases are too complex to pinpoint a clear cause.
But it would stop the majority. It would dramatically reduce the risk and number of cases.
And that’s why I’m sharing this now.
New Mums Don’t Need Fairy Tales – They Need The Truth
When I fell pregnant, I didn’t feel anything like I thought I would.
Even though I’d wanted children for years, I struggled to adjust to everything that was changing.
Because it’s one thing to know what will change, but a completely different story to actually be in it.
I didn’t feel any special bond right away. When people told me to sing to the babies, it felt silly.
I was shocked by my own emotions, and started to feel like a failure.
Not fully yet, but the seed was already there.
If someone had mentioned in one of the prenatal classes I attended – or in the books I read – that it was normal and natural to feel this way, my shame and silent struggles could have ended there.
As a new mum, I felt lonely and lost. But I found my way back – and I wrote “Motherhood – The Unspoken” to help you find yours. Click HERE to learn more.
But because they didn’t, I started to pretend everything was okay. I showed the world I was the happy, excited mum-to-be I thought I should be.
Sure, I had moments when I felt happy and excited, but they came and went. It was one huge emotional cocktail I wasn’t prepared for. I thought I’d only feel joy.
And it only got worse from there.
When our twins arrived, I didn’t feel anything special. All the excitement I’d felt after hearing SO many people say, “You’ll fall in love at first sight,” turned into ice-cold shame.
I thought I was a horrible mum. I thought I was the only one who didn’t feel “the love.”
Again – if someone had told me these feelings were normal and expected, the guilt would’ve had no room to grow. I wouldn’t have felt like a failure. I wouldn’t have struggled in such intense silence.
From that point on, I experienced something shocking every single day.
I learned that breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally, that it’s a skill that needs to be taught. And that it can be extremely painful, both physically and emotionally.
I felt sad, lonely, and desperate to turn back time.
I cried every day when no one was watching.
I missed my old life so much it hurt.
I had intrusive thoughts about hurting my babies.
And I felt incredibly ashamed about it.
If I had known earlier that this is very common – that it’s normal to feel this way – there would’ve been no space for shame.
If someone had told me how important it is to look after myself, to get help and support – and how to do that – I wouldn’t have needed to reach the point of breaking.
But no one did. So I struggled in silence for eight long months until I hit rock bottom.
And as they say, from there, the only way is up.
Thankfully, that was true for me.
But not everyone is this lucky.
Thousands of mums (and dads) around the world lose their lives to postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis.
I’m not even sure whether I had depression or psychosis, or a combination of both. I just know it was something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
How We Actually Stop PPD
So what’s the first and most important step to stop PPD from eating mums alive and taking lives?
We need to educate expecting mums properly about life AFTER birth – especially from the emotional perspective- and how to maintain good mental wellbeing.
We teach them about labour and how to bathe a baby… but we don’t tell them how motherhood impacts them—and how to cope with the common challenges.
We need the same education for partners and family members. We need to prepare them on how to actually support a new mum.
This step alone would make a massive difference and reduce the number of PPD cases – both reported and unreported.
Secondly, we need a better support system for new mums.
No, it doesn’t mean more staff or more money.
It means one right person in each hospital who gets it, and who helps new mums feel seen, heard, and supported.
Ideally, each hospital should run a weekly support group led by this person. Most hospitals already have someone like this – they’re just not using them wisely.
Not just questionnaires about mental health, but real conversations. A safe space and a chance to open up.
That’s it.
That’s all it takes to make a difference.
So when I pulled thought I wasted no time and wrote the book Motherhood – The Unspoken and created a course Happy Motherhood Journey for new mums. The course offers realistic insights into new mum life, gives mums the tools to feel confident and supported on their journey, and helps prevent postpartum depression.
It’s all I needed as a new mum.
If you believe mums deserve more than survival mode, it would mean the world if you helped me spread the word about the course.
(And if you’d like to become an affiliate and earn from sharing it, email me at ivana.poku@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram.)
The more mums this course reaches, the fewer will break. The fewer will feel struggle in silence. The fewer will lose lives.
And the more will rise – stronger, seen, and supported.
Thanks so much! Your support means more than you know.
With all my love,
Ivana xx
As a new mum, I felt lonely and lost. But I found my way back – and I wrote “Motherhood – The Unspoken” to help you find yours. Click HERE to learn more.
