Ivana Poku What does a new mum need?
Especially if it’s a first time mum!
Every new mum needs SO MUCH so it’s often hard to choose just one thing.
Especially when you have so many things to choose from! There are baby clothes, motherhood books, mum self-care and survival kits, pamper kits, mummy diaries, to name but a few!
In fact, the more options there are, the harder it is to choose.
Gifting a new first-time mum is a very important event after all.
She has just given birth (or will do soon 🙂 to a new human so the gift you give her is much more than just a gift.
It is a symbol of your relationship with the mum and your support.
You want a gift that says:
This gift is special.
I took the time to choose this gift for you.
And ideally also:
This gift will make your life easier/more beautiful/more relaxed.
Now, what if I told you that there is one gift that says all of the above PLUS helps her to be the best mum she can be AND maybe even save her?
You know, when I became a mum, I felt nothing like I had expected.
I’d read tons of books, attended antenatal classes, and asked questions.
And yet, once my twins arrived, I felt like I knew nothing at all.
That is when I realised how naive our expectations about motherhood are.
And how many there is about motherhood that is unspoken.
I was shocked to learn that the ‘love at first sight’ is rather a movie moment than reality. Or that breastfeeding does not happen naturally.
Not being aware of these, and many more unspoken truths about motherhood prior to giving birth resulted in severe postnatal depression and feelings of failure.
I did not enjoy motherhood at all and wished to turn back time.
I felt incredibly desperate and lonely.
I felt ashamed about my feelings so I put all the effort into hiding them.
I suffered in silence for the longest 8 months.
At one point, I was even suicidal and was convinced that my family would have been better off without me.
All of this because of the unrealistic expectations about motherhood and the pressure to be ‘perfect’.
I will never forget the day when I sat on the bed and made a promise to myself to help future mums set clearer expectations so they never have to feel like I did.
The promise I made that day gained its physical form in 2019 when I published my first book Motherhood – The Unspoken.
The book is everything I needed when I became a new mum.
- It reveals the untold truths about motherhood people don’t talk about.
- It shares honest authentic stories from 10 different first time mums.
- It shows what feelings are common and normal to experience in the early stages and why.
- It shares my honest story and experience with postnatal depression and what helped me to pull though and come out the other side stronger and happier than before.
- It shares plenty of support and reassurance to new mums.
- It teaches how you can be the best mum for yourself and your baby.
and more!
How I wish someone had given me this book when I was a new mum!
I will never know what would have happened if I had read it, but I know for sure that I would not have suffered for so long.
Perhaps I would not have suffered at all.
Now you may think – postnatal depression doesn’t concern me/my friend/my loved one.
I used to think the same.
It felt so far fetched for me that I barely gave it any attention.
But today I know that I only felt this way because no one had given me relevant information about this illness.
Most antenatal classes focus too much on information around birth, but give only poor or zero information about life after baby and postnatal mental health.
That’s why most new parents believe postnatal depression (or any postnatal mental illness) doesn’t concern them.
Just like I did.
I too thought that postnatal depression didn’t concern me.
Today I know I couldn’t be more wrong.
Postnatal depression is an illness like any other so it can happen to anyone.
But only if things don’t go as far as depression, being a new mum is nothing like we have expected and without relevant information and support it can easily lead to feelings of failure or severe mental health issues.
I have learned this the hard way.
But now I am here to help other mums to never have to go through the hell I did. (and what the majority of first-time mums do – in silence).
I do it through my book Motherhood – The Unspoken which I wrote with all my heart.
In the book, I share my innermost thoughts and feelings I experienced as a new mum.
It wasn’t always easy to be honest about how I felt at times, but I know that it was the only way to make a difference and help new mums feel less alone.
The book helps new mums understand their feelings and gives them powerful tools that help them be the best mums they can be.
And honestly, what more can you give to a new mum?
Motherhood – The Unspoken is not just a gift. It is the Gift that can save her on many levels.
It definitely would have saved me!
That is why I know that it is the best and most thoughtful gift every new mum can get.
