Ivana Poku Having a newborn is hard at the best of times, and even harder when you have to deal with it in isolation.
Being isolated is one of the triggers for mental health issues so at times like this it is extremely important that you look after yourself and wellbeing.
I put together 5 simple but powerful steps that can help you to maintain your wellbeing and keep you strong.
The more tips you follow, the better you feel, but remember that even sticking with one of these tips will make a MASSIVE difference.
1. TALK
My number one tip on general mental wellbeing and the best way to feel better instantly is to talk. Choose someone you trust and talk to them about your feelings. Do not ever keep anything inside as it will backfire eventually. The more you talk about your thoughts and feelings, the better.
A lot of mums are scared of being judged if they are open about how they feel. While I understand where this comes from, I promise you that most mothers feel just like you. They are just as you scared to talk about it.
The more we talk to each other about how we really feel, the sooner we break the stigma and stop suffering in silence.
So even if you should remember only one point from this list, it is this one.
TALK.
2. ASK FOR HELP
When you look after a newborn in isolation, he sources of help are limited, of course, but you still have a lot of options on how others can help.
But before we talk about them, let’s get clear on the fact that it is OK to ask for help.
Sadly, the majority of mums struggle to ask for help and feel they should do it all by themselves.
This is a huge mistake and something that doesn’t serve anyone, least of all you and your family.
The sooner you realise that asking for help means that you are choosing to remain strong, the better.
Also, keep in mind that deep down, people genuinely want to help. How do you feel when someone asks you for help? You feel valued, grateful, and fulfilled. So do other people so don’t’ take this privilege away from them and let them help.
Get your partner involved, ask your friends to cook for you, do the shopping for you, or anything else you need which can be done in the circumstances.
Don’t believe you have no one to ask. We all have someone. Sometimes we just refuse or find it difficult to see it.
3. STAY FOCUSED AND PRIORITISE
If you have a newborn to look after, everything else has to go aside. The world won’t stop spinning if you don’t reply to your friend’s text immediately (or if you don’t reply at all), if your household is a mess, if you don’t work, if you don’t start the new hobby you have wanted, or anything else you feel you “should do”. Right now, the only thing you need to focus on now is you and your family.
4. FIND A SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY
Online groups provide a safe and friendly place to share your worries and experiences. You have plenty of amazing groups on Facebook to choose from.
5. SHIFT YOUR MINDSET
After all, how we feel begins in our head. Working on your mindset is therefore incredibly beneficial. Personally, working on my mindset led me from being depressed, suicidal mother to the happiest I have ever been. And if I could come to such a massive change, I know you can do achieve anything too.
Watch uplifting videos, read spiritual books, listen to inspirational podcasts, meditate,… Anything that will make you feel good. And do it daily.
How to deal with a newborn in isolation
There you go! I hope you find these tips helpful.
I am sure you have heard this one before, but repetition is the mother of wisdom, so I am going to say it again – this is just a stage and it will pass.
Furthermore, it will give you more strength than anything else ever could.
Believe in you, because I definitely do!
Remember that you are a mum and this alone is proof that you are strong beyond measure and can survive anything.
And you will.
With love,
Ivana xx
