Motherhood feels too much sometimes.

For every. single. mum. 

It doesn’t matter if you have one child, twins, or five children—every mum has days when she feels like she’s on the edge.

There are moments when all you want to do is lock yourself in a room and scream.

It happens to all of us!

As I write this post, I’m sitting next to two one-year-old rascals—and I already feel drained after only a few minutes spent with them.

Take something as simple as learning to eat with a spoon. It usually starts off okay… then suddenly, the meal ends up all over the table, walls, clothes—you name it.

I’m sure you know this too…

When putting on shoes takes 30+ minutes, a simple nappy change turns into a wrestling match, or they throw themselves on the floor for no reason at all.

But the hardest part? The crying.

When my babies cry non-stop and nothing I do settles them, it feels like someone is drilling directly into my brain.

On days like this, when my husband finally walks through the door, I pass the kids over for his ‘shift’ and sit in the garden, staring into space.

Motherhood feels too much, even when the chaos is small. Sometimes it’s just tiredness or a bad day that makes everything feel so overwhelming.

And that’s absolutely okay.

Just like kids have “off” days, we mums have tough ones too.

Every mum finds her own way of getting through.

Some meditate, some scream into a pillow, some cry, some count to ten…

Whatever helps you release the pressure—so long as it’s safe—is completely valid.

Here are the 8 things I personally do when motherhood feels too much, and I hope they’ll help you too.

1. Picture your children in the future

I like to picture my boys as teenagers or adults.

What are they going to be like?

What is their life going to be like?

What will they love?

What will they fear?

Are they going to be good parents?

Are they going to be good friends?

Will they be successful?

Will they be happy? 

Asking these questions reminds me just how big a role we play as mums.

And how much  there is to look forward to!

2. Realise they won’t be this small forever

When I feel the day is endless, I remember the sentence I’ve heard from probably every mum I know or have met: “Enjoy them while they’re small.”

To be honest, in the early stages of motherhood, this piece of advice used to make my blood boil.

However, when I gave it a thought, I realised that every moment with the kids really is unique and temporary.

When you have a difficult day, try to imagine your child in a month’s time, one year’s time, ten year’s time…

Remember you won’t hold them in your arms anymore. You won’t spend so much time with them anymore.

So dive deep into the present and sense every movement, sound, smell, and touch of your baby as though is your last chance to remember them the way they are today.

3. Stop trying to be perfect

Every mother wants the best for her child.

However, we often get caught up in the effort to be perfect. 

If you feel it’s too much for you, stop and relax.

Your child will survive a moment or two without you.

You don’t have to give them 100% of your time. And you shouldn’t! You want them to learn to be independent.

Make sure they are safe, sit down, and have a cup of tea (or anything else that will help you relax).

If you need any help, ask for it. It took me a while to realise that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

On the contrary, it is a sign of strength. Because asking for help is harder than not asking. 

Not to mention that as mum, we need more than two hands.

Feel free to ask your loved ones to pop in the store or watch your children while you go for a walk (or anything else you want).

Don’t worry that you are bothering anyone.

People are flattered when asked for help.

It shows how important you feel about trusting them in times of need.

4. Exercise

Any kind of exercise is cathartic. 

Even 10 minutes of exercise can do real miracles.

It clears up your mind and gives you an energy boost.

Personally, physical exercise was crucial when I was recovering from postnatal depression.

I still regularly go to the gym and always get back with a completely rebooted, refreshed, and balanced mind.

5. Meditate or practice yoga

For those who do not like “classic” sports or want to expand it by a mental dimension, there is nothing better than meditation or yoga.

When I practice 10 minutes of yoga in the morning, I immediately feel relaxed and feel like I can get on with anything that day has in store.

If you struggle making it routine, put it in your calendar.

Once it is a ‘task’ you are more likely to do it.

6. Appreciate what you do each day (you do more than you think!)

How often do you appreciate yourself for what you do every day?

Children, household, partner…

A mother’s job is the hardest job in the world, and yet the least appreciated by mothers themselves.

Before going to sleep, go through the events of that day in your mind and appreciate yourself for everything you did that day.

And believe me, there is PLENTY of amazing things you do each day.

Is your child sleeping each night in a clean cot?

Are they loved and fed?

Wonderful!

They already have more than the most children on the planet.

7. Make yourself happy

Do what you enjoy, go shopping, get your hair done, try a new hobby, get your nails done, get out with your friends…

If not always affordable may be a lunch around a friend’s place where a partner or loved one can keep an eye on the children to give you a break.

It just allows you some space to be yourself without worrying about the little ones. 

Sounds so simple but the effect this has on your mental wellbeing is beyond magical!

8. Look at the old photos of your children

This works miraculously!

When the boys are asleep, I often go through their pictures and it immediately makes me forget about everything bad.

I don’t know why or how, but watching their photos and videos really do erase everything negative from your mind.

When Motherhood Feels Too Much: 8 Simple Tips to Help You Cope

Here you go!

I hope these tips will help you just as much as they have helped me!

What would you add to my list?

Do you have your own secret tip when motherhood feels too much?

Let me know on Instagram!

Love, Ivana xx