Ivana Poku Have you ever lost it in front of your child?
Apologies, that’s a silly question.
You’re a mum, so of course you have!
You had tears streaming, heart racing, feeling like a total mess…
And then immediately panicked because you thought, “Oh no, I’m scaring them! They’ll be traumatised because of me!”
Followed by guilt: “I am a horrible mum!”
If this sounds familiar, please relax.
You’re not a bad mum.
Crying in front of your child isn’t just normal – it can actually be healthy.
Letting your child see your real emotions can teach them something important about life, feelings, and resilience.
And for you? It’s a tiny release – a way to survive the exhausting, overwhelming reality of motherhood.
So take a deep breath and let’s talk about why your tears might be doing more good than harm.
Why It’s Actually Good to Cry in Front of Your Child
First, let’s get one thing straight: babies aren’t fragile little robots.
They’re tiny humans, learning about the world through your voice, face, and emotions.
Seeing you cry doesn’t scar them – it teaches them that emotions are normal.
Crying shows your child that it’s okay to feel things – sadness, frustration, overwhelm.
It shows them that feelings are a part of life.
When you hide every tear, you’re secretly telling them that emotions are bad or scary.
And if you feel guilty on top of that, they pick up on it.
I believe that guilt or self-blame does more damage than your tears – more than when you occasionally lose it.
Because when you let yourself feel, your child learns it’s safe to feel too.
For you, crying is like hitting the reset button.
Motherhood can be intense, and bottling up all the emotions that come with it is exhausting. It can lead to burnout, or even postpartum depression.
Letting them out takes the edge off, brings you release, and helps you be more present.
And here’s the magic part: babies pick up on authenticity.
When you cry, breathe through it, comfort yourself, and move forward, your child is watching resilience in action.
They’re learning that emotions come and go, and that life keeps moving.
This is a great life lesson that will give them more than you can imagine.
It’s a powerful lesson – one that most of us didn’t have.
Talking to Your Child About Your Feelings
Many of us were taught to swallow our tears, smile through the pain, and pretend everything was fine.
And that’s why, as adults, we second-guess every emotion, every reaction, every tear.
We criticise ourselves for feeling too much because we never saw healthy emotion modeled.
Your child needs you – honest, messy, emotional, alive.
So let yourself cry and be vulnerable.
But here’s something really important too: if your child is old enough to understand, don’t just let the moment pass.
When they see you cry, talk to them about it.
It doesn’t have to be a big, heavy chat. Just something simple like, “Mummy felt sad for a moment, but I’m okay now. Everyone feels sad sometimes.”
This helps them make sense of what they saw and shows that feelings don’t have to be scary or confusing.
It teaches emotional safety.
Because if we just cry, say nothing, and move on, our child might fill in the blanks with worry.
But when we name it and reassure them, they learn that emotions come with comfort, understanding, and love.
Being Vulnerable Strengthens the Bond With Your Child
And here’s the best part – being vulnerable in front of your children also strengthens your bond.
When they see you show real feelings, they feel safe to do the same.
They learn that home isn’t just a place where everything is perfect. It’s a place where it’s okay to feel, to cry, to struggle, and still be loved.
Crying isn’t a breakdown, it’s a breakthrough.
Every tear releases tension, grief, and fear.
Every tear is a little bit of the weight leaving your chest.
When you lose it, you’re not just losing it – you’re teaching your child how to live with emotions, how to feel deeply, and how to be human without shame.
You’re creating a connection built on honesty, trust, and love that will last far beyond their childhood.
I mean, how amazing is that!
Let yourself be human – and watch the magic happen.
So the next time you find yourself losing it, or crying in front of your child, remember this: you’re not just surviving motherhood, you’re teaching it.
You’re showing your child that it’s safe to feel, safe to fail, and safe to be themselves.
And the more you let yourself be real, the more they learn how to love you as you are – messy, tired, overwhelmed, and perfectly human.
Because when someone loves you for you – not the “perfect” version – that’s priceless.
And when you have that kind of connection with your child?
It’s beyond priceless.
It’s everything.
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