Ivana Poku This is guest post written by a mum who experienced severe birth trauma (PTSD).
Alexandra is a mum of two, a fertility, birth, and parenting specialist, antenatal and postnatal educator, and a practitioner who experienced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after giving birth.
Originally from London, she now lives in Hertfordshire with her two young children.
Alexandra has a passion for yoga and advocates for women’s and children’s rights during birth and beyond.
Over to Alexandra:
My Birth Story and PTSD
From the moment I discovered I was pregnant with my eldest, I became obsessed with learning everything about childbirth.
I went from thinking I wanted a C-section to dreaming of a calm home water birth.
But things didn’t go as planned.
Upon being transferred to a hospital, I was told I was failing to progress (which wasn’t true) and that if I refused multiple interventions, my baby might not survive.
I knew my and my baby’s health stats were good.
I refused to be coerced and demanded either a vaginal birth or a C-section.
They refused both.
Eventually, we compromised on breaking my waters.
During labour, I was surrounded by staff who told me I was endangering my baby.
At one point, the consultant left mid-procedure for a holiday, leaving another doctor to deliver my child.
The First Moments with My Baby
Eventually, I was shown my healthy baby boy.
I was so drugged I could barely hold him and was shaking uncontrollably.
When I tried to feed him, I struggled to latch him.
My husband had to find a midwife to help: a midwife who seemed surprised I even wanted to try.
The next few days at home were overwhelming.
I couldn’t sleep and I felt exhausted and mentally drained.
For months, I struggled silently with anger at what had happened, resentment toward myself, and a hyper-vigilant attachment to my child.
I wanted him to only have my scent, my touch, my presence.
Friends, yoga, sex, and the idea of returning to work faded into the background.
I suffered in silence, consumed by fear and the emotional aftermath of birth trauma.
Realising I Had PTSD After Birth
By chance, while completing professional training, I came across help that changed everything.
On the first day of learning about birth trauma resolution, I broke down and finally understood what was wrong: I was experiencing PTSD caused by birth trauma.
A few days later, I took part in a therapy session as a test subject.
That one session transformed my life. The memory of my birth remained, but the intensity, anger, and hyper-vigilance disappeared.
I could finally relax and allow myself to bond freely with my son.
Birth Trauma and Postnatal Mental Health Struggles Are Common
My story is personal, but birth trauma is more common than people realise.
Some women experience medically traumatic births, while others may have been scared or unsupported during labour, leaving lasting psychological effects.
Thankfully, discussions around postnatal mental health struggles and birth trauma are becoming more open.
It’s no longer a taboo topic.
Whether you’re suffering from postnatal depression, PTSD after birth, or other mental health challenges, reaching out for support is crucial.
There are treatments available that can help you heal and feel more confident as a parent.
Treatment Options for Birth Trauma
Personally, for birth trauma and postnatal PTSD I recommend:
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
These therapies are highly effective but can require multiple sessions.
I found Birth Trauma Resolution remarkable.
After just one session, I felt lighter, more energised, and able to enjoy my baby without the intense fear and anger that had previously consumed me.
The memory was still there, but the emotional weight had gone.
Advice for Other Mums
If you’re experiencing birth trauma or postnatal mental health struggles, my advice is simple:
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Do your research.
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Find the treatment that works for you.
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Choose a practitioner who makes you feel safe and supported.
Healing is possible, and support is out there. Every mother’s journey is unique, but you don’t have to suffer alone.
My Hope for the Future
Now, I see countless clients who have experienced birth trauma: some from medical complications, some from fear and lack of support during labour.
I encourage all mums to speak up, seek help, and trust that recovery is possible.
It really is.
For more information about Alexandra and her work, visit www.alexandrakremer.co.uk.
FAQs
1. What is birth trauma / postnatal PTSD?
Birth trauma is your mind and body’s response to a birth that felt frightening or distressing. When these feelings don’t fade and instead show up as flashbacks, hypervigilance, or fear, it can develop into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after birth.
2. What causes PTSD after childbirth?
PTSD after birth doesn’t only happen after a medical emergency, it can develop any time you felt frightened, unheard, or out of control during birth – even if your birth was classed as “straightforward” on paper.
3. What are the signs of postnatal PTSD?
Common signs include flashbacks or intrusive memories of the birth, nightmares, avoiding anything that reminds you of it, feeling constantly on edge, and trouble bonding with your baby.
4. How common is birth trauma?
More common than most people think. Research suggests as many as 1 in 4 mums experience symptoms of birth trauma, and around 1 in 20 go on to develop full PTSD.
5. Is postnatal PTSD the same as postnatal depression?
No, though they often overlap. Postnatal depression (PPD) tends to sit low and heavy while PTSD keeps your nervous system on high alert, reliving the event.
6. Can birth trauma affect bonding with your baby?
Yes. Hyper-vigilance, anxiety, or feeling emotionally shut down are common symptoms of birth trauma, and they can make bonding feel harder. This is a symptom of the trauma, not a reflection of how much you love your baby.
7. What treatments help with birth trauma and PTSD?
Trauma-focused therapies such as EMDR, CBT, and Birth Trauma Resolution can be highly effective, and specialist support exists specifically for this.
8. How long does recovery from birth trauma take?
It varies. Some mums feel much better after just one session of trauma-focused therapy, others need longer. There is no right or wrong timeline, all you need to remember that recover is possible.
