Ivana Poku Do you wonder how to enjoy Christmas with kids when you’re just not feeling it?
Our first Christmas with the twins in 2016 was nothing like I expected.
As much as I love them, it can also be utterly exhausting.
But that’s motherhood, right?
Some days are full of joy, and others are filled with stress or frustration. It’s an emotional rollercoaster.
But here’s the thing: love always wins.
Even on the tough days, love shines through. It’s not always easy to see, but it’s there.
I didn’t always feel that way, though. In fact, the first few months of motherhood were the hardest battle I’ve ever fought—postnatal depression took me by surprise, and it was a fight I’m not eager to revisit.
Sadly, our first Christmas with the boys didn’t match the picture-perfect expectations I had. At eight months old, I was still adjusting to the constant changes they brought into our lives.
All the things I once loved about Christmas—decorating the tree, cooking, baking, watching movies—felt like a blur. I almost didn’t notice the magic. (Almost).
Our first Christmas day was just another day of being overwhelmed by the constant duties of motherhood.
It was tough, especially when I saw others around me enjoying the holiday, doing all the things I used to love.
But I made it through, and now, two years later, I finally understand what it feels like to truly enjoy Christmas as a mum.
And let me tell you, it’s more magical than I ever imagined.
Seeing the boys decorate the tree, hearing their laughter, watching their eyes light up with excitement—it’s indescribable.
Christmas as a mum is an experience beyond anything I could have dreamed of.
If you’re not feeling that joy right now, that’s OK. You’re not alone.
It’s more common than you might think for mums to feel down during the holidays.
Motherhood is hard work, and little ones don’t give us a break during Christmas any more than they do on any other day.
But remember, there’s no right or wrong way to feel at Christmas.
Don’t beat yourself up. Take it easy, and remember that enjoying Christmas doesn’t mean doing what everyone else is doing.
It means finding peace and comfort in whatever makes you feel good.
Not sure how to get there?
Here are three powerful tips to help you enjoy Christmas, even if you’re not feeling it:
1. Stop pleasing others and start pleasing you!
I know, easier said than done.
But if you give it another thought, you find it is actually not that hard at all.
We spend so much time trying to please others or do what they want, that we completely forget to follow the all-time best guide – our inner voice.
Are you stressed because your house is a mess? Ask yourself this magic phrase – So what?
You have no time to cook? No time or energy to buy presents? You are not in the mood to celebrate Christmas?
So what?
Try and answer this question and you will learn that there is no reason to stress out at all.
Do what you want and you will be fine.
Would you like to spend Christmas in bed? Sleeping? Reading? Being quiet? Something else?
Do it!
You cannot enjoy Christmas if you do something you don’t enjoy.
Simple as that :).
Oh, and don’t worry that others will judge you.
They don’t think about you as much as you think they do anyway (In a nice way!).
They are too busy thinking about what others think of them.
2. Be open about how you feel
One of the biggest mistakes I did while suffering mental issues was that I was not open about my feelings.
I put so much effort and energy into hiding it that this effort itself was extremely exhausting.
If you give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you are feeling, your negative emotions will reduce dramatically!
If your friend asks you a question that gives you anxiety, tell her! If you don’t feel like answering the phone, don’t answer it! if you feel low when you speak to a friend or family member, tell them!
This way, not only will you lift a massive weight off your shoulders, but you will also get a great amount of support that will work as something soothing for your soul – especially on Christmas!
If you have no one to talk to, please consider joining my online support group where you can share your real feelings, meet other like-minded mums and receive plenty of love and support!
3. Imagine your Christmas next year
This simple trick really does wonders!
If you are not happy right now, that is ok. It does not mean you will feel the same next year and the year after that…
How would you like to feel next Christmas? Where do you think you will be then? Try and envision it and really feel it!
Close your eyes and feel it as though it is happening now.
Go really deep and focus on every detail… Stay here for a few minutes and then come back.
Notice how you feel.
How simple and how powerful, isn’t it? 🙂
I hope these tips will help you to spend this Christmas as joyfully and stress-free as possible!
If you should only remember one thing from this blog post, let it be this: follow your inner voice, and you’ll be fine.
With all my love,
Ivana
PS. If you enjoyed this post, or would like to say hello, drop me a DM on Instagram! I LOVE to hear from you! 🙂 xx
