Ivana Poku “Keep calm, I have twins.”
This became my motto over the years. They say twins mean double the trouble, but any twin mum will tell you — it’s not just double. It’s exponential. And it’s not just trouble, either. It’s chaos, joy, exhaustion, confusion, awe… all tangled together.
Having twins is a challenge on a completely different, almost unmeasurable level. A level no one really prepares you for.
If I were to list everything no one told me about having twins, I’d still be writing next week. So let’s just talk about the most surprising ones. Or maybe — the most important ones.
1. The pregnancy is brutal
I assumed the first few months would be about the same as with a singleton pregnancy. And for the most part, they were. But then the third trimester arrived — and all hell broke loose.
I couldn’t walk more than a few steps without gasping for air.
Climbing stairs? Only if someone physically helped me. My ribs, bladder, back, hips – everything was under pressure 24/7.
There was no relief. No position helped.
Sleep? That stopped about four weeks before the boys were born. I’d lie awake, staring at the ceiling, begging my body to rest and my babies to hurry up and come out. And they must’ve heard me – they arrived 6 weeks early.
It wasn’t fun. But honestly, I don’t know how I would’ve survived if they’d stayed in full term.
My body was absolutely done.
2. Singleton mums worship you
It’s always a bit surreal when I hear things like,
“You’re amazing, I couldn’t do it,”
“You’re superwoman,”
“How do you manage?”
And while it feels good to be acknowledged, let’s be clear: every mum deserves that admiration. Because who’s to say what’s harder – raising one very spirited child or two moderately chilled ones?
The struggle isn’t a competition. It’s real for every mother, no matter how many kids she has.
3. It’s not just double the work
People think twins = double nappies, double feeds, double everything. Sure. But it’s not just that. It’s double the thinking. Double the logistics. Double the guilt.
Every single thing requires strategy. Leaving the house is an operation. Bath time becomes a juggle. Bedtime? Don’t get me started.
And don’t even try applying advice from singleton mums. Like, “Just distract them with an activity on the plane.”
Which one? The one falling asleep on me or the one sprinting down the aisle trying to steal some poor man’s iPad four rows behind us? Because it’s not like I can chase one without waking the other.
I cried after more than one flight. And not quiet tears. Big, frustrated ones.
4. Twins are not the same person
It always amazes me how people ask,
“Are they different personalities?”
As if having shared a womb somehow makes them identical beings.
Yes. They are completely different. One’s louder. One’s more sensitive. One likes dinosaurs. One’s into numbers.
Same birth date. Same house. Different souls.
They challenge me in such different ways that sometimes I feel like I’m parenting two kids born in different families.
5. In some ways, it gets easier
Yes, really. As they grow, I’ve started noticing little perks.
At soft play? They don’t need anyone else. Even in an empty space, they’re off – playing, laughing, climbing. They have each other.
It gives me small windows of breathing room. I’m still alert, but I’m not entertaining every second.
Also, twin mums have to teach independence sooner. Out of survival. They dress themselves earlier. They help more. They understand that mummy has only two hands – and sometimes, zero energy.
Related posts:
- Best Twin Prams: How to Choose the Right One (and Avoid Costly Mistakes)
- What Are The Benefits Of Having Twins?
- What Every Parent for Newborn Twins Needs to Know (from a Twin Mum)
6. A single pushchair looks like a toy
Seriously. Every time I pass a mum with one tiny buggy, I want to weep.
As a twin mum, you don’t just push a pram. You push a tank. You scan doorways for width. You calculate slopes. You skip cafés because your buggy won’t fit between the tables.
And when they get heavier? Pushing that thing = a full-body gym workout. I’m convinced I built more strength in my arms from that buggy than from any fitness class I’ve taken.
7. You find strength you never knew existed
There were times, especially in those early months, when I thought I’d break.
I was sleep-deprived, drowning in nappies and feeding schedules. I cried in the shower. I felt trapped. I hit rock bottom.
But somehow, I kept going. Something inside me refused to give up.
And that’s stayed with me. Even now, when things are tough, I remind myself: I’ve done the hardest thing I’ve ever done – and survived.
So whatever comes next? I know I’ve got it in me.
8. You will feel a bit jealous sometimes
I don’t like admitting this, but it’s true.
I sometimes envy mums of one who can do all the things I couldn’t. Swimming lessons. Painting cafés. Lunch in peace. Holding hands without juggling bags and snacks and another small person.
I didn’t get much time to enjoy each child as an individual. My attention was constantly split. Still is.
Those tender one-on-one moments get interrupted – by tantrums, sibling drama, spilled juice, or just pure exhaustion.
But that’s twin life. You mourn the calm you never had… and then get pulled right back into the chaos.
9. It’s the hardest and best thing that ever happened to you
Yes, twins are hard.
Right now, as I type this, I can hear them arguing over something absolutely ridiculous. I can feel my patience slipping. Again.
But it’s also the best fun I never expected.
They laugh together in a way that makes everything else fade. They look out for each other. They create a world I get to witness.
Yes, I still fantasise about earplugs and solo holidays. But I also can’t imagine life without the madness.
I wouldn’t change a thing — not even the bits that broke me. Because from that brokenness came something stronger. Deeper. Unbreakable.
They are my chaos. My joy. My world.
And even on the worst days, especially on the worst days, I know this twin life chose me for a reason.
And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Final Word
If you’re a twin mum reading this, I see you.
I know the sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the moments you wonder if you’ll be able to cope.
I know the pride too – the kind that fills your chest when you watch them grow side by side, thriving because of you.
So next time someone says, “I don’t know how you do it,” take it in – you’ve earned it.
Keep calm, twin mum, you’re doing something extraordinary!
And on the days when worry and anxiety feel like they’re taking over, grab my FREE guide: 19 Affirmations To Calm Your Mind in Seconds.
