Ivana Poku Some people say some truly ridiculous things to new mums.
A few days ago, I saw a comment thread in a Facebook group for mums, and honestly?
I couldn’t believe what people were saying to a woman who had just given birth.
It was a mix of clueless, cringey, and straight-up damaging.
So, I decided to do a little digging.
I asked mums on social media:
“What’s the most annoying or ridiculous thing someone said to you as a new mum?”
The replies flooded in. Some made me laugh. Others made my blood boil. A few left me speechless.
Most of the time, people don’t mean any harm – but their words can hit hard.
The wrong comment, at the wrong moment, can shake a mum’s confidence or make her feel like she’s not doing enough.
In this post, I’m sharing 48 of the most ridiculous things people have said to new mums.
Or as I like to call it: What NOT to say to a mum who’s just had a baby.
Have a read- and if I’ve missed a gem, drop it in the comments.
- You are so tiny, you don’t look pregnant at all.
- Are you pregnant? (to a postpartum mum)
- To a crying baby: She’s not happy, is she?
- You should try to enjoy the birth as it goes so quickly.
- It’s crazy you aren’t going to breastfeed. When calves are born they would die without getting any of the initial colostrum that the mums produce.
- Babies don’t cost that much.
- You can’t feel the baby move already, I didn’t at that many months.
- Don’t listen to your midwife’s advice, I never did it like that.
- You know schedule feeding is the only way to feed your child!
- Don’t worry, you will lost the baby weight.
- Are you sure it’s not twins?
- Breast is best.
- She doesn’t look anything like you.
- What Does It Look Like Down There?
- We didn’t do that in my day and our children turned out fine.
- Are you sleeping when the baby sleeps?
- I thought you’d said you weren’t going to use a dummy.
- Make sure you enjoy every minute.
- To a mum of a couple of hours old baby: Put mittens on your son, he needs to “explore” himself.
- Your son had a feeding tube? How I wish my baby had a tube…
- If you cycle baby’s legs they will grow tall.
- If you don’t do tummy time your baby will be short.
- You look tired.
- You’ve been eating a lot of doughnuts.
- This is your third? Are you CRAZY?
- Did it hurt?
- Enjoy it, this is the easy bit.
- Baby is soo skinny now, are you feeding him?
- It gets worse.
- When are you having another one?
- If you think this is bad, just wait.
- I could never go back to work. I’d miss my baby too much.
- I’m so tired.
- You’re so lucky you get to stay at home.
- If you put him in onesies all the time he would grow up and not know how to get dressed.
- You look good… For someone who’s had a baby.
- I think he’s hungry/ tired/ wet.
- Holding your baby would spoil them.
- I was nowhere near this big when I was XY weeks along.
- This is your third son? Never mind, you can always try again.
- You should be resting now!
- You look great for someone who just had a baby.
- Your baby is small because she is formula-fed.
- He’s 8 weeks? He should be sleeping through the night by now.
- Your baby should be sleeping in her own room in her cot at 4 months or she never will sleep alone.
- You shouldn’t breastfeed your baby because he’s a boy and you won’t have enough milk for him.
- Partner of a mum with a 7-month-old baby: You don’t get to celebrate Mother’s day because you haven’t been a mum for a year.
- You look tired.
We could go on forever, but these are some of the ridiculous things people said (and keep saying) to new mums. If you have heard any of them, trust me, you are not alone!
However annoying some comments may be, always remember that people often mean well, say things out of habit, or don’t realise the impact of their words.
Just smile, offer a sarcastic comment if you like, or simply don’t react. (You have better things to focus your energy on right now.)
I promise it will help you a LOT. 😉
With love, Ivana xx
