Ivana Poku When a woman becomes a mum, people often say many ridiculous things to her. While they usually don’t intend to hurt her, some of these comments can be really damaging to a new mum’s well-being and her ability to cope. Here are some examples of what NOT to say!
I recently witnessed a conversation in this Facebook group for mums. I was shocked by what some people are able to say to a women who has just given birth!
Inspired by this, I decided to compile a list of the most common (or rather, notorious) things people say to new mums.
I turned to social media and asked mothers: What is the most annoying thing people said to you when you became a mum?
Their responses ranged from amusing to downright offensive, and some left me utterly speechless, thinking: WTF? 😲
Here is the complete list of the most ridiculous things people say to new mums.
(Alternatively, it could be titled: What Not to Say to a New Mum!)
Take a look and feel free to add your own experiences in the comments if I’ve missed any!
- You are so tiny, you don’t look pregnant at all.
- Are you pregnant? (to a postpartum mum)
- To a crying baby: She’s not happy, is she?
- You should try to enjoy the birth as it goes so quickly.
- It’s crazy you aren’t going to breastfeed. When calves are born they would die without getting any of the initial colostrum that the mums produce.
- You’re going to need an itemised bill for Child support because babies don’t cost that much
- You can’t feel the baby move already, I didn’t at that many months.
- Don’t listen to your midwife’s advice, I never did it like that.
- You know schedule feeding is the only way to feed your child!
- Don’t worry, you will lost the baby weight.
- You are massive. Are you sure it’s not twins?
- Breast is best.
- She doesn’t look anything like you.
- What Does It Look Like Down There?
- We didn’t do that in my day and our children turned out fine.
- Are you sleeping when the baby sleeps?
- I thought you’d said you weren’t going to use a dummy.
- Make sure you enjoy every minute.
- To a mum of a couple of hours old baby: Put mittens on your son, he needs to “explore” himself.
- Your son had a feeding tube? How I wish my baby had a tube…
- If you cycle baby’s legs they will grow tall.
- If you don’t do tummy time your baby will be short.
- You look tired.
- You’ve been eating a lot of doughnuts.
- This is your third? Are you CRAZY?
- Did it hurt?
- Enjoy it, this is the easy bit.
- Baby is soo skinny now, are you feeding him?
- It gets worse.
- When are you having another one?
- If you think this is bad, just wait.
- I could never go back to work. I’d miss my baby too much.
- I’m so tired.
- You’re so lucky you get to stay at home.
- If you put him in onesies all the time he would grow up and not know how to get dressed.
- You look good… For someone who’s had a baby.
- I think he’s hungry/ tired/ wet.
- Holding your baby would spoil them.
- I was nowhere near this big when I was XY weeks along.
- This is your third son? Never mind, you can always try again.
- You should be resting now!
- You look great for someone who just had a baby.
- Your baby is small because she is formula-fed.
- He’s 8 weeks? He should be sleeping through the night by now.
- Your baby should be sleeping in her own room in her cot at 4 months or she never will sleep alone.
- You shouldn’t breastfeed your baby because he’s a boy and you won’t have enough milk for him.
- Partner of a mum with a 7-month-old baby: You don’t get to celebrate Mother’s day because you haven’t been a mum for a year.
- You look tired.
We could go on forever, but these are some of the ridiculous things people said (and keep saying) to new mums. If you have heard any of them, trust me, you are not alone!
However annoying some comments may be, always remember that people often mean well, say things out of habit, or don’t realise the impact of their words.
Just smile, offer a sarcastic comment if you like, or simply don’t react. (You have better things to focus your energy on right now.)
If you find things difficult (we have all been there!), please grab my FREE guide with 10 powerful tips on how to cope with new mum stress.
I promise it will help you a LOT.
With love, Ivana xx
PS. Before you go, make sure to check out some of the other posts I wrote for you. All the links are below.
