Postnatal Anxiety Explained: Why You Feel Constantly On Edge

You finally got the baby down.

The house is quiet.

You should be resting. (You want to be resting.)

But you can’t, because your brain is running a marathon.

Is the baby breathing?

Why did they make that noise?

What if I’ve messed this up?

Why can’t I relax like other mums?

Welcome to postnatal anxiety.

Believe it or not, it’s more common than you think.

It just doesn’t get talked about enough.

So let’s talk about it.

First things first: you’re not failing

Postnatal anxiety isn’t you being “dramatic” or “too sensitive”.

It’s your nervous system stuck in high alert mode after one of the biggest life changes in your life (quite possibly the biggest one).

Your body just grew a baby and your hormones are all over the place.

Of course your brain is panicking.

This isn’t “weakness”.

This is biology + pressure + exhaustion.

What is postnatal anxiety?

Postnatal anxiety is when worry takes over after having a baby.

Not the usual “Am I doing this right?” thoughts, or the odd moment of panic.

This is worry that feels constant, loud, and hard to switch off.

Your mind jumps to worst case scenarios.

Your body feels tense, shaky, or restless.

Even when everything looks fine, you don’t feel fine.

And here’s something important to know:

Postnatal anxiety can happen on its own or alongside postnatal depression (also known as postpartum depression.)

I talk more about postnatal depression in these posts:

Why does postnatal anxiety happen?

Short answer?

Because a lot changes, very fast.

There isn’t one clear reason, it’s usually a few things piling up at the same time.

Here’s what’s often going on:

1. Your hormones take a nosedive

After birth, hormone levels drop quickly. That sudden shift can make anxiety show up out of nowhere.

2. You’re running on empty

Broken sleep messes with your nervous system. When you’re exhausted, your brain finds it hard to switch off worry.

3. Your brain goes into full protection mode

You’re suddenly responsible for a tiny human and your mind is constantly scanning for danger.

4. There’s pressure everywhere

Unsolicited advice comes from all directions, all at once. Social media and media in general doesn’t help either. The fear of “getting it wrong” can feel overwhelming.

5. Old stuff can resurface

If you’ve had anxiety before, motherhood can bring those feelings back up. None of this means there’s something wrong with you. It means you’re overwhelmed, and that makes sense.

What postnatal anxiety actually looks like

Many people picture postnatal anxiety like full on panic attacks on the floor.

Or a new mum hiding at home, too scared to leave the house.

Too scared to do anything.

But that’s not always how it shows up.

Sometimes it looks like:

Constantly checking if your baby is breathing
Feeling on edge all day, even when “nothing is wrong”
Intrusive thoughts that make you wonder, ‘What’s wrong with me?’
Overthinking every small decision
A tight chest, racing heart, or that horrible “impending doom” feeling
Not being able to switch off, ever

And the worst part?

You might look fine on the outside.

Smiling, functioning, holding it together.

While inside, you’re exhausted from all the worrying.

“But I thought I’d feel happy?”

Ah yes. That expectation.

Here’s the truth people don’t say enough:

You can love your baby and feel terrified.

You can feel grateful and miss the your life before baby.

You can be a good mum and struggle.

You can be surrounded by people and feel lonely.

These things can (and they do) exist together.

Postnatal anxiety doesn’t cancel out your bond.

It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

It means you’re a new mum.

Why postnatal anxiety often goes unnoticed

Because mums are REALLY good at pushing through.

We tell ourselves:

“This is just part of motherhood”
“Other mums cope better”
“I should be able to handle this”
“I don’t want to be a burden”

So we stay quiet.

And anxiety thrives in silence.

Small things that actually help (not the annoying advice)

No “just relax”, or “sleep when the baby sleeps”.

Here are a few things that can really help:

1. Name it

Even saying “I think this might be anxiety” is super powerful. It stops the spiral from owning you.

2. Limit reassurance seeking

Constant Googling makes anxiety louder. Set boundaries with your phone – no scrolling in the evenings!

3. Try soothing affirmations

Affirmations are incredibly powerful for anxiety. I don’t mean the kind of affirmations that make you feel like you’re lying to yourself. I mean the ones that hit you to the core, and melt your worries away like snow in the sun.

If you’re struggling to come up with affirmations like that, snag my free PDF with 19 magic affirmations for mums.

4. Breathe like you mean it

Slow breathing tells your nervous system you’re safe. Long inhale, and and even longer exhale. Always.

5. Feel it

Trying to push anxiety (or any emotion, for that matter) away makes it stronger. Anxiety is just an emotion doing its job a little too well. Let it be there. When you stop fighting with it, it loses its grip.

6. Tell yourself you’re safe

When you feel anxious, your brain doesn’t seek calmness. It needs to know it’s safe.

7. Talk to someone who won’t dismiss you

A partner, a friend, a midwife, a fellow mum… Someone you trust. You don’t need fixing, you need to be heard.

8. Get support now

You don’t have to wait until you reach rock bottom. Early support = faster relief. Full stop.

Final thoughts: postnatal anxiety explained

If you feel anxious after having a baby, you’re experiencing normal and common feelings of a new mum.

Postnatal anxiety is incredibly common, and incredibly treatable.

The sooner you reach out for help, the sooner it become just a distant memory.

If you want to hear stories from other mums, and how they coped with postnatal struggles, I highly recommend you check out my book Motherhood – The Unspoken.

FAQs

What is postnatal anxiety?

Postnatal anxiety is when worry, fear, and overthinking take over after having a baby. It’s more than the usual “new mum nerves” and can feel exhausting, even when everything looks fine on the outside.

How is postnatal anxiety different from postnatal depression?

Postnatal anxiety is often driven by constant worry, fear, and racing thoughts. Postnatal depression usually comes with low mood, sadness, or feeling numb. Many mums experience both at the same time, and that’s far more common than people realise.

What does postnatal anxiety actually feel like?

It can look like:

Constant worrying about your baby
Feeling on edge all the time
Racing thoughts that won’t switch off
Trouble sleeping, even when your baby sleeps
Tight chest, nausea, or a knot in your stomach
Needing constant reassurance

You don’t need panic attacks for it to be postnatal anxiety.

When does postnatal anxiety start?

It can start days, weeks, or even months after birth. For some mums it’s immediate. For others, it creeps in slowly.

Is postnatal anxiety common?

Yes, incredibly common! So many mums experience it but stay silent because they feel ashamed or think they should “just cope”.

Can I have postnatal anxiety even if I love my baby?

Yes. One hundred percent yes. Postnatal anxiety has nothing to do with how much you love your baby or how good a mum you are.

What causes postnatal anxiety?

It’s usually a mix of things, including:

Hormonal changes
Lack of sleep
A difficult or traumatic birth
Pressure to be the “perfect” mum
Previous anxiety
Massive life changes happening overnight

Will postnatal anxiety go away on its own?

For some mums, it eases with time. For others, it doesn’t. Support makes a huge difference, and you shouldn’t wait until things feel unbearable to ask for help.

What helps with postnatal anxiety?

Many mums find relief through:

Talking to someone who truly understands
Gentle grounding techniques
Soothing, realistic affirmations
Lowering expectations and pressure
Professional support when needed

Small steps really do add up.

When should I seek help?

When you don’t feel ok, that’s when you should seek help. It doesn’t matter whether it’s anxiety or something else.
If you’re struggling, it deserves attention. Full stop.

Postnatal Anxiety Explained: Why You Feel Constantly On Edge After Birth

First things first: you’re not failing

What is postnatal anxiety?