Ivana Poku I remember the first six months after my baby was born like it was yesterday.
Honestly?
It was the hardest, most confusing, most exhausting period of my life.
We had twins, which was a challenge in itself.
Becoming a mum is hard at the best of times, so having two at once was extra challenging.
Especially since we had just moved to a new town and didn’t have any family or friends nearby to help.
But here’s the thing: I survived.
I learned.
If you’re wondering how to survive the first 6 months of motherhood – through sleepless nights, feeding struggles, and postpartum emotions – you’re not alone.
In this post, I share everything I wish someone had told me in those early months.
But first, hello!
My name is Ivana, and I’m the founder of MumsJourney – a blog dedicated to supporting mums through every stage of their motherhood journey. I’m also the author of Motherhood: The Unspoken and an award-winning maternal mental health advocate and mentor.
After giving birth to my twins in 2016, I experienced severe PPD. It was the hardest time of my life, but it also showed me how much there is to motherhood people don’t talk about and how many mums don’t get the support they need.
Since then, I’ve made it my mission to help other mums feel heard, supported, and less alone.
In this post, I talk about:
- How to survive sleepless nights without losing your mind
- Feeding struggles, from breastfeeding pain to formula guilt, and how to navigate them
- Mental health, postpartum anxiety, and finding hope in the darkest moments
- The everyday challenges that hit harder than anyone warned you about
- How to bond with your baby and celebrate those tiny milestones
- Real-life survival tips from a mum who’s been through it all
NOTE: This isn’t an expert guide.
It’s a heart-to-heart from someone who’s been through the trenches of early motherhood – and come out the other side.
Surviving the First 6 Months of Motherhood
The first six months of motherhood are a rollercoaster of conflicting emotions and endless questions, most of which you’re too scared or tired to voice.
One moment you’re filled with awe, staring at your tiny baby in wonder.
The next, you’re crying, feeling overwhelmed, drained, and strangely alone – even with people around you who love and support you.
It’s messy. It’s exhausting. And it’s completely normal.
But here’s the thing: you can survive it, and even find moments of joy you never imagined.
Together, we’re going to navigate the sleepless nights, the feeding struggles, and the emotional chaos – so that by the end of this post, you’ll feel like maybe, you can not only survive but actually find joy in these first six months of motherhood.
Biggest Challenges in the First 6 Months of Motherhood (and How to Cope)
Here are the challenges that hit hardest, and why it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed by them:
The first six months throw curveballs. Some challenges hit like a ton of bricks:
-
Sleep deprivation
-
Feeding struggles
-
Postpartum mental health
-
Colic and reflux
-
Isolation
-
Relationship stress
-
Body changes
-
Feeling judged
-
Managing visitors
-
Household management
-
Bonding with your baby
Now, let’s explore these in more detail and talk about how to cope with them.
How To Survive Sleep Deprivation In The First 6 Months of Motherhood
Sleep?
The first few months, it feels like a distant memory, a luxury other people enjoy while you exist in a haze of exhaustion.
That said, there are babies who sleep through the night from day one, but those are the rare exceptions.
For most of us, it’s better to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.
And if you get anything better than that? Great!
Our twin boys were colicky for about six months, so sleep was a constant challenge.
We tried taking turns at night, but we found it worked better when each of us had one baby.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was slightly more manageable.
And here’s the thing no one really tells you: it’s not just the sleep deprivation that’s the hardest part.
It’s everything you have to do on top of being exhausted – feeding, changing, soothing, all while a baby (or two) cries in the background. That’s what makes it brutal.
Here’s how I survived the sleepless nights:
1. Let go of guilt
If your baby sleeps in your arms, in a co-sleeper, or even on the couch while you grab a quick nap, that’s okay. Check the safety guidelines, of course, but don’t get hung up on “perfect” sleep routines. Right now, this stage is all about survival. People will have advice and opinions, but the most important thing is your wellbeing. Do what feels right for you and your baby, and for your wellbeing – nothing else matters right now.
2. You don’t have to sleep when baby sleeps
Everyone says, “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” but for me, that added pressure rather than relief. I often didn’t want to sleep when the babies napped, and when I forced myself to, I felt worse. Hearing this phrase everywhere made me second-guess myself and wonder if I should be sleeping. So here’s my advice: you don’t have to sleep when your baby sleeps. Do what feels right for you and your wellbeing.
3. Ask for help like it’s your job
If someone offers help, say yes. If no one asks, ask for it – even if it feels uncomfortable. You are not meant to do this alone, and asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak – it means you’re choosing to stay strong. Push past the discomfort and accept support – the more, the better. And remember: people love to help.
4. Create a sleep-friendly environment
A dim nightlight, white noise, and keeping everything within arm’s reach saved me more than I can count. I learned to keep nappies, wipes, bottles, and even snacks right next to my bed – so everything I needed was just a stretch away. Little adjustments like these make the sleepless nights easier and take some of the pressure off.
5. Manage your expectations
Some nights, you won’t get more than two hours of consecutive sleep, and that’s okay.
Be gentle with yourself; surviving is the goal now.
6. Get professional help
If you’re struggling and feel that lack of sleep is affecting your wellbeing, don’t hesitate to invest in paid help. Whether it’s a baby sleep consultant, a routine expert, or a night nurse, this is one of the most important investments you can make right now. You’re not just paying for coaching – you’re investing in your wellbeing and your baby’s wellbeing.
We brought in an expert for baby routines with our third baby, and he was sleeping through the night by three months! If I could go back in time, I would have invested in help with our twins from day one – or even better, before they were born. It would have saved so much exhaustion, worry, and stress. And it might have even helped me prevent severe PPD.
All in all – yes, sleep deprivation is brutal.
Some nights feel endless, and yes, you might cry over nothing.
But you will survive. Just like we all did.
And one day, maybe a few months later, this stage will be just a distant memory.
Breastfeeding and Bottle-Feeding Struggles (and What Actually Helps)
Breast, formula, combination feed – you name it, someone has an opinion.
And suddenly, everyone is a feeding expert.
I struggled with breastfeeding.
The boys didn’t want to latch.
It hurt.
I cried.
And then I cried some more because I thought I was failing my baby.
Here’s what helped me survive feeding:
-
Trust your instincts
You know your baby best. Books, blogs, and forums help, but only you are their mum. -
Build a support network
Lactation consultants, online groups, or friends who’ve been there make a world of difference. I talk about how you can create your supportive community of mums in this post. -
Don’t feel guilty switching
Bottle-feeding doesn’t make you a bad mum. Feeding your baby is survival. Nothing more, nothing less. I talk more about it more in this post. -
Focus on small wins (after all, they’re not small at all)
A full feed, a baby gaining weight, a calm moment – these are victories.
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety: How I Managed in the First 6 Months
PPD and anxiety are more common than most realise.
I didn’t know what PPD looked like until I lived it.
Some days I couldn’t get out of bed.
Some nights I felt like screaming or running away.
Here’s what helped me survive:
1. Talk about it
Tell someone you trust – your partner, friend, or a health professional. Even saying, “I feel like my life is over,” out loud is a huge relief. It’s the first step that often leads to further support and help.
2. Take it one day at a time
Don’t think about next week or next year. You can easily get overwhelmed when in the thick of things. Focus on today only.
3. Join baby groups or classes
Let’s be honest: baby groups and classes are for mums as much as they are for babies. They allow you to socialise and maintain your sanity. Feelings of loneliness and isolation are very common in new mums, so get out as much as possible. If there’s nothing happening in your area, take the reins and organise something yourself.
4. Find your purpose outside of motherhood
When you’re in the thick of things, it’s very easy to feel like motherhood is consuming you. What really helped me was starting this blog—it allowed me to turn my experience with PPD into something powerful and help other mums feel less alone. It also allowed me to focus on something besides feeding and changing nappies. You can choose anything that lights up your heart—anything that brings you joy. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have as much time as you’d like. Even five minutes a day, or planning it in your mind while feeding, is powerful.
5. Get outside
Fresh air is magical. I don’t know what it is, but whenever I feel on edge, going outside makes all those bad feelings disappear within minutes. Even if you don’t feel like it, go outside. Ideally, every day.
6. Get Help (Free and Paid)
One of the most common mistakes new mums make is not asking for help. But you physically cannot do everything on your own. So ask for it – and accept it – as much as you can… and then some.
If you can invest in help, there are consultants, therapists, night nurses, coaches… choose what you feel you need and go for it. This is not the time to save money or try to be a superhero. (In fact, even superheroes ask for help.)
Colic and Reflux in Newborns: Survival Tips for Exhausted Parents
Babies with colic or reflux can turn even the calmest day upside down.
Crying, arching, spitting up – it’s exhausting and heartbreaking.
Remember: this isn’t your fault, and it won’t last forever.
Our twins were colicky for about six months, and we tried almost every product out there. Nothing made a huge difference, except time. Now it’s all just a distant memory.
Gentle rocking, upright feeds, tummy time (when baby’s ready), and small, frequent meals can help.
And most importantly, trust your instincts.
You know your baby best, and asking for help from your GP, health visitor, or a lactation consultant is a sign of strength, not failure.
How to Cope With Loneliness in the First Months of Motherhood
You can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone.
This is incredibly common and doesn’t reflect on your abilities as a mum or who you are as a person.
In those early months, when babies cry constantly and sleep deprivation leaves you running on empty, it’s easy to feel cut off from the world.
That’s why making the effort to get out, even for a short walk or a quick chat with another adult, is so important for your wellbeing and your sanity.
How to Protect Your Relationship in the First 6 Months With Baby
Having a baby can put a real strain on your relationship, even when you both love each other deeply.
Sleep deprivation, constant feeding, and the endless demands of newborn life can make it feel like there’s no time or energy left for each other.
That’s why it’s so important to keep communicating.
Talk about how you’re feeling, share little wins, and vent frustrations.
Date nights don’t have to be elaborate; even a 30-minute conversation at home with a candle or a cup of tea counts.
Just because you have a baby doesn’t mean your relationship should be on pause.
In fact, having a baby is the perfect reason to nurture it, because a strong, connected partnership helps both you and your baby feel secure, loved, and supported.
Postpartum Body Changes No One Warns You About
Your body has been through one of the biggest transformations imaginable.
It’s growing a tiny human, going through labour, and then adjusting to life postpartum – all while you’re sleep-deprived and running on adrenaline.
So yes, the changes can feel strange, overwhelming, or even a little shocking.
Stretch marks, aches, and weird noises from your tummy or pelvis? Totally normal.
Weight fluctuations? Completely expected.
Green poo, blowouts, and bodily surprises that make you wonder, “Is this really happening?” – all part of the package.
Your body is doing the absolute most, and it shows.
But here’s the thing: while most of this is normal, it’s also important to check in when you’re unsure.
If something feels off, painful, or just unusual, don’t hesitate to reach out to your GP, midwife, or health visitor. They’ve seen it all, and a quick check can give you reassurance or support if needed.
And remember, your body has been through an incredible journey.
It grew a new human!
It may not feel like it right now, but it’s strong, resilient, and slowly finding its new rhythm.
How to Handle Judgement and Unwanted Advice as a New Mum
One of the hardest things about being a new mum?
Feeling like everyone has an opinion about everything – from how you feed your baby to how you handle sleep, crying, and even what you wear.
It can feel relentless, and honestly, exhausting.
But remember: you are your baby’s mum, no one else.
Your instincts, your baby’s needs, and your own wellbeing should always come first.
So take advice with a pinch of salt. Keep the helpful tips, discard the judgment, and trust yourself.
If unsolicited advice keeps coming, it’s okay to gently say, “Thanks, we’ve got this covered,” or change the topic.
Protecting your space and confidence is not rude – it’s self-care.
Simple Household Hacks to Survive Life With a Newborn
Let’s be real – keeping up with the house when you’ve got a baby (or more) feels like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos.
Impossible.
But here’s the thing: your home doesn’t need to be squeaky clean, it just needs to work for you right now.
A few little hacks can make the chaos feel a lot more manageable:
-
One laundry basket per room: Instead of chasing socks around the house, drop a basket in each bedroom. When it’s full, it’s ready to go.
-
Use paper plates: They are survival. On tough days, allow yourself to skip the washing up, guilt-free.
-
Create a “fk it” box:** A basket or box where you chuck everything you find on the floor at the end of the day. You can go through it the next day, but even if you don’t, that’s totally fine!
-
Batch cook in tiny bursts: You don’t need a full Sunday meal prep marathon. Just double a pasta sauce or make extra soup when you do cook.
-
Sticky note brain dump: Keep a pad in the kitchen. Jot down what’s running through your head – milk, nappies, laundry—so your brain doesn’t have to hold it all.
-
Ask for help: Get your friends, family, or neighbours to pitch in. Just tell them what you need.
For more tips on how to organise your house, read this post.
And remember: your baby won’t remember whether the floor was spotless.
They’ll remember the cuddles, the laughter, and the feeling of being safe and loved.
How to Set Boundaries With Visitors After Having a Baby
As a new mum, your energy, your schedule, and your sanity all matter – and you have to protect them.
Setting boundaries isn’t rude, it’s necessary.
Here’s how to do it without feeling guilty:
-
Be clear about timing: Let visitors know exactly when it works for you. “We’d love to see you, but mornings are easiest right now,” is enough.
-
Limit the length of visits: It’s okay to say, “We can have a half-hour catch-up today,” and stick to it. Short visits help everyone enjoy time together without feeling overwhelmed. It also helps you avoid awkward moments when you want to put your feet up or nap, but your guest is still hovering.
-
Protect baby routines: Naps, feeds, and quiet time are sacred. Visitors should know your baby’s schedule matters most.
-
Say no when needed: It’s completely fine to postpone or decline visits. You don’t owe explanations beyond a simple, “Today isn’t good, let’s try another day.”
-
Use technology: Video calls, voice notes, or photos can let loved ones feel involved without adding stress to your day.
-
Be honest but kind: Setting boundaries is loving, for both you and your baby. Visitors will understand that rested, happy parents make for a happier baby too. If they don’t? That’s on them.
Remember: Boundaries are a form of self-care.
Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person – it makes you a smart, loving one.
How to Bond With Your Baby in the First 6 Months
It’s completely normal if you don’t feel any bond or special love right away.
Maternal love is a process that develops.
Personally, it took a few months for my love to fully form and settle.
The most important thing is not beat yourself up for it and know it’s normal.
And then, here are a few tips that help with bonding:
-
Skin-to-skin contact: Calms both baby and mum.
-
Talking and singing: Your baby loves your voice.
-
Eye contact: Tiny moments of connection are powerful.
And then there are the milestones: the first smile, that giggle that makes your heart burst, or the moment their tiny hand curls around your finger.
Pure, unforgettable magic.
The truth?
Bonding doesn’t usually come in big, movie-like moments. It’s found in the everyday, messy, exhausted, sometimes tear-filled minutes.
It’s when you whisper, “We’ll be okay,” at 3 a.m.
It’s when you rock them even though your arms ache. It’s when you choose to show up, again and again.
Because love isn’t measured in perfection – it’s built slowly, in the quiet, ordinary moments that add up to something extraordinary.
Baby Milestones That Make the First 6 Months Worth It
Motherhood can feel like pure chaos: spit-up on your shirt, endless nappies, and coffee that goes cold.
But tucked inside the exhaustion are The moments that make you stop, smile, and forget about all the hardship for a while.
That first stretch of sleep: It might only be four hours, but to you, it feels like winning the lottery. You wake up feeling human again – and suddenly, the world feels brighter. I share my personal experience on how we manage to get our third baby to sleep through the night from three months in this post.
The moment your baby smile at you: It feels like the whole world tilts. Suddenly, every sleepless night, every tear, every doubt – it all makes sense in that one little curve of their lips.
The first giggle or coo: Their laugh has the power to melt every ounce of stress you’ve been carrying. Those sounds are like music you’ll never forget.
A feeding without tears (from either of you): Suddenly, what once felt impossible now feels natural. And in that moment, you realise how far you’ve both come.
These milestones may seem small, but in fact, they are huge victories.
They’re not just signs of your baby growing – they’re proof of your strength and the bond you’re building, even on days that feel messy and hard.
So celebrate them.
Give yourself a tap on the back.
let those magical moments remind you that in between the sleepless nights and endless to-do lists, there is joy.
There is progress.
And you have so much to look forward to.
When Motherhood Gets Easier: What to Expect After 6 Months
All in all – those first six months are hard.
Brutally hard.
But they are fleeting, precious, and transformative.
Slowly, things shift: longer sleeps, more smiles, and moments of peace.
You can’t be perfect. You’re not supposed to be.
You just have to keep going.
Take it one day at a time.
Be gentle with yourself.
And remember: you’re doing an incredible job.
Final Thoughts
The first six months of motherhood are a rollercoaster of exhaustion, emotion, and immense love.
You’ll laugh, cry, scream, and wonder if you’re doing it right – but in all of that, you’ll grow into the mum your baby needs.
It’s chaotic. It’s imperfect. It’s breathtakingly beautiful.
And here’s the truth: you are stronger than you think.
You will survive this.
You will find joy in the chaos, confidence in your instincts, and pride in every tiny win.
Motherhood doesn’t require perfection, it requires showing up, day after day, heart full and arms ready.
And you are doing just that.
If you have any questions, thoughts, or just need a virtual hug, drop them in the comments; I’ll be here to respond.
With love,
Ivana xx
Frequently Asked Questions About the First 6 Months of Motherhood
1. How do you survive the first 6 months of motherhood?
Take it one day at a time. Ask for help, get outside, talk about how you feel, create space for things that bring ou joy, and remember survival is the goal in this stage. Sleep when you can, keep meals simple, and lean on (or create) your support network.
2. When does life with a newborn get easier?
Most mums find things start to improve around the 3–6 month mark. Sleep stretches get longer, feeding becomes easier, and you begin to feel more confident as a mum.
3. Is it normal to feel overwhelmed as a new mum?
Yes, completely. The first 6 months are intense and exhausting, and feeling overwhelmed is natural and even expected. Most mums experience this, even if they don’t admit it.
4. What are the hardest parts of the first 6 months?
Common struggles include sleep deprivation, feeding challenges, postpartum recovery, mental health struggles, and adjusting to a new life with the baby. Every mum’s experience is different, but none of these struggles mean you’re doing something wrong.
5. How can I bond with my baby in the first 6 months?
Bonding takes time and develops in small moments. Skin-to-skin contact, eye contact, talking, singing, and responding to your baby’s needs all help. Don’t worry if it doesn’t feel instant, it grows gradually.
