Last Updated on October 14, 2026 by Ivana Poku
I’m Ivana, a mum of three boys (including twins) and author of Motherhood – The Unspoken, on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen and supported.
Is this your first Christmas with a baby?
It’s amazing and stressful at the same time, isn’t it?
You might be picturing cute tiny outfits, twinkly lights and a perfect family photo in matching pyjamas.
At the same time, you’re so tired you’re not sure you’ll even make it to Christmas Day.
I get it, lovely.
Our first Christmas with the twins was magical, but also exhausting, chaotic, and nothing like I’d imagined.
There are so many things I’d do differently now to take the pressure off.
In this post, I’ll tell you what they are.
I’ll share what our first Christmas with a baby (well, two!) was really like, the feelings that surprised me, and my best tips to help you enjoy your first Christmas as a mum, even when you feel like you have nothing left.
Let’s begin.
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What Our First Christmas With a Baby Looked Like
Our twin boys were born in 2016, so that December was our very first Christmas as a family.
Everything felt so new and special:
- The first Christmas dinner together
- Unwrapping gifts (I still remember that year most vividly)
- Cute Christmas outfits
I picked two pairs of stylish red vests (onesies) that read “My First Christmas 2016”, tiny Christmas socks and hats. They waited (im)patiently in the wardrobe until the Big Day.
And they looked perfect.
The boys loved anything that made a sound, so my husband Yaw and I knew we’d get away with any gift that made one. We didn’t care much what kind of sound, as long as there was a sound. (Rookie mistake, lol.)
And looking back, I think that as parents, we often do these things more for ourselves than for our babies.
They couldn’t care less about what they’re wearing. Hell, they won’t even remember the whole day. Or year!
But I still couldn’t help it.
Not only because I wanted to measure up to other mums (although I have to admit, that was the main reason), but also because there’s just something magical about putting love and care into creating memories.
Two Christmases, One Very Tired Mum
I’m Slovak and Yaw is English (with roots in Ghana), so we started a family tradition: double Christmas.
That means two Christmas dinners and two gift sessions. One on 24th December (Slovak style) and one on 25th December (English style).
It’s hectic, but it was very important to me to keep the traditions of both our countries going. We still do to this day.
That first Christmas dinner was unforgettable. The boys sat in their high chairs at the table, mesmerised by the decorations and the lights. As a first-time mum, I was soaking up every moment – both good and bad.
When I was feeding Henry that evening, I kept thinking about how far we’d come since their birth.
I’d struggled really hard after the birth with postnatal depression, found my way out, and started helping other mums feel less alone through this blog and my Instagram.
What a journey it has been!
The mix of nostalgia and joy hit me hard, and that memory is still brighter than any photo could capture.
How Christmas Feels Different When You’re a Mum
Before I had children, Christmas was about relaxing, seeing friends and enjoying myself.
Now, it was about seeing Christmas through my children’s eyes.
And if you’re feeling a bit strange about this change, that’s totally normal too!
Becoming a mum comes with a lot of mixed feelings, and your first Christmas with a baby can bring up many feelings at once:
- Pure joy watching your baby be excited
- Exhaustion from the broken nights
- Missing your old, carefree Christmases
- Pressure to make everything “perfect”
All of it is normal, my lovely.
You won’t feel like this every Christmas.
Where the Pressure Comes From
So why does your first Christmas with a baby feel like a performance?
Or some kind of test?
Because everywhere you look (literally), there’s a picture of how it “should” be:
- “Perfect” family photos on Instagram
- Adverts full of calm, smiling parents and sleeping babies
- Family members with their own plans (and opinions) for the day
- Memories of your own childhood Christmases you want to recreate
On top of that, it’s your baby’s first Christmas!
So you feel you “have to” get it perfect.
I don’t blame you – I felt exactly the same.
(Remember those matching red vests I told you about?)
But the truth is that the only thing your baby needs is for you to be okay.
For them, Christmas is just another ordinary day.
And that’s actually good news!
7 Tips for Your First Christmas With a Baby
Now, let’s talk about how to take the pressure off and enjoy your first Christmas with a baby as much as possible.
Here’s what I’d tell you if I were sitting next to you right now, having an honest heart-to-heart, mum to mum:
1. Keep your expectations really low
There is nothing you have to do or can’t do.
Your baby might cry through dinner.
They might nap through the presents.
Someone might need a nappy change right when the turkey comes out.
That’s more than okay though!
A happy Christmas is one that’s full of laughter, not perfection. So embrace the crazy moments and turn them into fun memories. Even if you have sweets for dinner – can you imagine what a great story it will be 20 years from now?
Don’t fear imperfections, embrace them!
2. Say no to plans that drain you
Again, you don’t have to visit anyone, have anyone over, or do anything you feel in your gut you don’t want to do.
If driving between three houses on Christmas Day sounds like a nightmare, don’t do it. Choose what feels right for your little family.
I know it’s easier said than done, but nothing makes you prouder of yourself than when you stick to your gut.
You are the boss of your house and you set the rules. If you struggle to set boundaries, please read my post on how to say no without guilt.
3. Protect your baby’s naps (where you can)
An overtired baby on Christmas Day isn’t fun for anyone. Especially you.
You don’t need to be strict about it. Just try to build the day around naps rather than squeezing naps around the day you think you “should” have.
4. Don’t overdo the presents
Your baby will most likely be more interested in the wrapping paper than the gift.
So please, don’t stress about the gift. If you get them anything cheap from a charity box, that’s more than enough!
And speaking from my own experience – if you buy something that makes a noise, choose that toy very carefully, as you’ll be hearing that sound a lot in the weeks that follow.
5. Take photos, then put your phone down
Sure, get that picture in the “My First Christmas” outfit. You’ll love looking back at it years later.
But then put the phone away and soak up the moment. When you take a photo, you remove yourself from the experience.
Most of my favourite memories from our first Christmas (or any memories for that matter) aren’t in any photo.
See also my post where I explain what happened when I stopped taking tons of pictures of my kids.
6. Let others help
If your mum wants to hold the baby while you eat a hot meal, let her! If your partner offers to do the bath, say yes!
You can’t do it all yourself, and the sooner you stop trying, the sooner you’ll feel happier.
Christmas is the perfect time to start accepting help without feeling bad about it.
7. Allow yourself to feel everything
You can love your baby with all your heart and still miss your old Christmases. You can feel grateful and still need a break from being a mum.
It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful, or that you’re a bad mum.
It means you’re a mum with totally normal and reasonable feelings.
Your First New Year’s Eve With a Baby
Our first New Year’s Eve with the twins was even more chaotic.
They fell asleep late, and Yaw and I had to force ourselves to stay awake until midnight.
We watched a film, clinked our champagne glasses at twelve, and then collapsed into bed.
Not exactly the parties of my twenties!
The second year was a little different and we all even lit some sparklers at midnight!
So if your first New Year’s Eve with a baby means being in bed by ten, that’s completely fine. Most new parents are, to be honest.
There will be plenty of fun New Year’s Eves ahead.
Final Word
Your first Christmas with a baby might not look like the Christmas cards.
It will be messy, loud and tiring. You will probably spend half of it feeding, rocking or changing nappies.
But that’s all okay!
I promise you, there will be little moments that take your breath away and it’s those that matter and that you’ll remember forever.
Keep it as simple as humanly possible, say no when you need to, accept help, and let yourself feel all of it.
True happiness is not found in the “big” moments, but in the most ordinary ones.
You got this!
And if you have any questions, please drop me a comment below or message me on Instagram.
FAQs
Absolutely. Not only is it okay, but it’s also kind of necessary for your well-being. Your baby won’t remember it, so do what feels right for you. A quiet day at home can actually be the most special and magical of all.
Keep it simple. A soft toy, a book or a toy from a charity shop is more than enough. Many parents also choose a “My First Christmas” outfit or ornament as a memory, and that’s okay as long as it doesn’t cause you more stress. Remember that your baby won’t remember this day.
Set clear plans ahead (to avoid last-minute awkward conversations), keep visits short (let visitors know in advance how long they can stay), and build the day around your baby’s naps and needs.
Your next read:
- Why is life with a baby so boring?
- Postpartum Mental Health: What’s Normal & When to Ask for Help
- Relationship After Kids: Expert Tips to Feel Close Again
- Why speaking about mum stress might be the best thing you ever do
PhDr. Ivana Poku is the author of Motherhood – The Unspoken, an award-winning blogger and maternal mental health advocate. Through her work, she is on a mission to create a world where mums feel seen, heard and supported. Ivana is also a mum of three boys, including twins, and lives with her family in a small coastal town in Scotland.
