Ivana Poku You’re expecting his baby… and you can’t stand him.
Maybe not all the time (though it’s fine if you do!), but there are moments when you snap at him for wearing socks that are “too red.”
You can’t help it.
You know he hasn’t done anything wrong, yet somehow it feels like he has.
Everything he does gets on your nerves.
The way he breathes, the way he eats, the way he tries to show you love…
I get it.
I truly do.
In my first trimester with the twins, I resented my husband, Yaw, with passion.
Mind you, we had only been dating for a few weeks at the time, so we were still in that stage where a couple is getting to know each other.
And anything he did would irritate me.
(He really must love me for not leaving me then lol.)
I felt bad about how grumpy and irritable I was, but I just couldn’t help how I felt.
Today I know those feelings are totally normal, especially in the early stages of pregnancy.
In this post, I’ll share why it happens and a few proven tips to make your husband a little less… irritating.
Why Our Husbands Irritate Us During Pregnancy
Okay, let’s be honest – pregnancy is basically a full-time job.
Well, actually more like a 24/7 job.
You’re growing a human and I think many of us don’t fully realise what it actually means.
That it’s a BIG deal.
Your hormones (and your whole system) are running wild, and your emotions are running the show.
So when your husband loudly chews his cereal, forgets to close the cupboard, or breathes a little too close to you – it’s not really him you’re mad at.
It’s everything happening inside you.
Makes sense?
Let’s break it down a bit.
Here’s what’s really going on:
1. Hormones are the puppet masters
Pregnancy hormones are not just responsible for morning sickness and sore boobs.
They also mess with your mood, big time!
People often connect hormones to physical impact, but your feelings and emotions are impacted just as much.
One minute you’re fine, the next you’re crying because he bought the wrong pasta.
This doesn’t say anything about your as a person.
You’re not crazy.
You’re not b**tch.
You’re just… pregnant.
But I know – when your thoughts won’t slow down, everything feels personal, and your emotions are all over the place, logic doesn’t really help.
That’s why I created 19 magic affirmations for you. They’re simple yet extremely powerful words you can come back to when your mind is racing. Click here to grab them for free.
2. You’re exhausted
Growing a human – pu put nicer, growing a baby takes more energy than running a marathon (literally!).
So when you’re tired, uncomfortable, or haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in days, even a sweet “Are you okay, babe?” can push you over the edge.
3. You feel unseen (even when he’s trying)
Sometimes it’s not about what he’s doing, but what he isn’t.
He can’t possibly understand what your body is going through, and that can make you feel alone.
Add a dash of hormones and fatigue, and suddenly evertying becomes a trigger.
4. Your brain is protecting you
This one’s interesting.
Some psychologists say that the irritability we feel toward our partners in pregnancy is nature’s way of helping us become more protective and independent before the baby arrives.
Your brain becomes super focused on keeping you and your baby safe.
That means you notice everything: sounds, smells, mess, people’s moods.
And sometimes, even little things your husband does can feel like a big deal.
He leaves his socks on the floor? Your brain goes, “That’s not safe! Too much chaos!”
He forgets to bring you the snack you asked for? “How can I trust him to remember the baby’s stuff?!”
It’s not really about the socks or the snack. (told you you’re not crazy!)
It’s your brain trying to keep things calm and under control.
It’s protecting you, even if it doesn’t always make sense.
In other words – you’re turning into a mum, and your brain is already getting ready to take care of your baby.
Related posts:
- Pregnancy Is Not A Magical Time: Honest Truths for First-Time Mums
- Baby Essentials You ACTUALLY Need (A Stress-Free Guide for the First 3 Months)
- Is It Normal To Feel Sad During Pregnancy?
How to cope with irritation in pregnancy
Now, let’s talk about how to deal with all those wild emotions.
Believe it or not, you’ve already done the first step.
Understanding and acknowledging your emotions with kindness puts you back in control.
1. Feel your emotions
Here’s the truth: if you try to fight your emotions, they only get stronger.
Snapping is often just a result of built up emotions.
They need a way out, but they can come out in a healthy way.
If they don’t, that’s when you snap.
So how do you release them in a healthy way?
Close your eyes and feel what’s there.
Notice where in your body you feel it.
Don’t push it away. Don’t judge it.
Just feel it. Let it be there.
Just watch it, like an observer, without getting pulled in.
You’ll be amazed how much lighter you’ll feel when you stop fighting your emotions and just let them pass through.
2. Step Back from Your Emotions
Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel them, remind yourself: “This isn’t me, it’s just my pregnancy hormones.”
Or say something like: “This is temporary. I’m okay. My brain and body are just working hard right now.”
This helps you separate who you are from what you feel.
It’s not your fault.
It’s just part of the wild pregnancy ride.
3. Talk to Your Emotions
It might sound a bit odd, but try talking to your emotions like you would to a friend.
Say what you need to say. For example: “This isn’t me. I’m not crazy, I’m just pregnant. My feelings are valid. This is only temporary. My husband is amazing, and he knows I love him. Everything is okay. I’m safe.”
It might feel silly, but it works like magic.
It calms your mind, releases tension, and reminds you that you’re in control.
If you want more affirmations to help you quiet all you worries that I designed specifically for mums to be, grab my FREE pdf with 19 magic affirmations. No joking, they will calm your calm in seconds!
4. Talk to Your Husband
They say communication is key, and it’s true!
Even though it sounds obvious, many mums don’t talk to their partner about how they really feel.
We assume they just know… or we expect them to read our minds.
That’s a big mistake. It only leads to a lot of frustration – and more snapping.
So talk to him.
If you snapped, explain why.
Not right away while you’re still upset, but later, when you’re calm.
Tell him gently what’s going on inside you, and what might help you next time. (without blaming or judging!)
It’ll make things so much smoother when you both understand each other.
You could even start a little evening ritual: before bed, spend a few minutes talking about your day.
What went well? What didn’t? What can you both do differently tomorrow?
Sure, it’s okay to laugh or vent with your friends sometimes.
We all need that.
But try not to fall into circles where everyone just bashes their husbands.
It might feel fun in the moment, but it builds negativity and creates distance between you two.
A little joke here and there is harmless, just watch out for those negativity spirals.
Remember, You and Your Husband on the Same Team
Pregnancy can make you feel like you’re losing control of your mind and body.
But here’s the thing: you’re not losing it.
You’re adjusting.
Your body and brain are doing something absolutely incredible, growing a new life.
That takes a lot out of you, and it’s no wonder you sometimes feel like snapping at the closest human in sight.
If you truly comprehend it that you are growing a human, you can’t ever feel bad about feeling anything!
So please be gentle with yourself.
You’re allowed to feel all of it: the love, the irritation, the fear, the tears.
None of it makes you a bad partner or a bad mum.
It just makes you a mum.
And remember, your husband is learning too.
You’re both figuring out how to be parents.
The more you talk, the more you understand each other.
And the more you understand each other, the more calm and love you create!
Final word
There you go!
As a new mum, it’s completely normal (and expected) to feel “all over the place”.
Remember it’s all a part of the process and will go away eventually!
And let me tell you something gently and honestly.
Most mums don’t struggle because they’re weak.
They struggle because they were unprepared for what actually comes after birth.
And I don’t mean changing nappies or bathing a baby – you’ll learn that in minutes.
I mean the stuff that actually hits you.
The emotional shock, the identity shift, the overwhelm no one warns you about.
There is so much about early motherhood that nobody talks about — and most mums (myself included) only learn it the hard way.
That’s exactly why I created a short, honest PDF with 9 facts about early motherhood no one warns you about — so you don’t have to.
Download it free here. Your future self will thank you.
FAQ: How to Stop Hating Your Husband During Pregnancy
1. Why am I so snappy and irritable during pregnancy?
Feeling snappy or irritable during pregnancy is completely normal. Hormonal changes, sleep disruption, morning sickness, and the stress of preparing for a baby can make even small frustrations feel huge. You’re not a “bad wife”: your body and mind are just under a lot of pressure.
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