Ivana Poku Ok.
The statistics say that 1 in 7 women experience postnatal depression.
However, these numbers are NOT accurate.
Why?
Because they refer only to the reported cases.
However, there are still many mums who suffer in silence and never reach out for help.
In fact, statistics say that 58% of new mums who feel depressed never seek help!
The question is – What can we do to change this?
What can we do to stop the stigma?
What can we do to stop new mothers from suffering in silence?
There’s no easy answer to this.
Many people believe that there is no way to prevent or lower the risks of postnatal depression.
However, being a postnatal depression survivor myself, I am convinced there IS a way to reduce the risks of postnatal depression and other postnatal mental health issues.
According to the NHS, there are things you can do to help you keep well such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle and having someone you can talk to and turn to for support.
Going to antenatal classes and making friends with other pregnant women or new parents can also be helpful.
NHS also advises that if you – or someone in your family – has a history of depression or mental health problems it can increase the risks of postnatal depression too.
In today’s post I share and elaborate on three tips that I believe can make – based on my personal and professional experience with depression – a big difference and significantly reduce the number of cases of mums (and dads) suffering with postnatal depression.
Here they are!
1. Honesty
It needs o become GENERAL KNOWLEDGE that (early) motherhood is NOT all joy and happiness.
Future mums (and dads) need to understand how it FEELS to be a new mum.
They need to understand that they may NOT fall in love with their baby right away, that they may feel lonely, sad, and doubtful, that breastfeeding is a skill, that they won’t enjoy every moment, or that at times, they will miss their old life so much that it would hurt.
Until people understand the above – just as they understand that childbirth is painful – the stigma will remain.
2. Better education
Future mothers need to be better educated about the realities of early motherhood, especially from the emotional side of things.
A new mum automatically expects to feel happy but in fact, the majority of new mums feel angry, sad, remorseful confused, and lonely at first.
But since they don’t l know it is normal, they instantly feel like a failure – and from there, it is short way to the arms of postnatal depression.
Most prenatal classes seem to focus too much on birth and practical tips on looking after a newborn.
This is surely great but sadly, they offer only poor or zero information about life after birth and postnatal mental health (this was officially admitted by the NHS midwives).
New mums then enter motherhood with unrealistic expectations which leaves them in a very difficult position.
I believe that better education on life after the baby is the most crucial step toward ending the stigma around postnatal mental health.
I offer deep insights into this subject and what prenatal classes don’t tell you in my book Motherhood – The Unspoken.
3. Sisterhood
And last but not least, mothers need to be a team.
They need to work together, not against each other.
Back in the day, mums spent almost all their time together.
They were helping each other out on a daily basis, they babysat for each other, they were raising each other’s children,…
It was a real sisterhood.
Today, a new mum feel isolated and lonely.
She hides behind happy pictures on social media and hides her real feelings due to fear of being judged.
They say ‘it takes a village’ but it feels like there are no villages anymore.
3 Ways To Stop Postnatal Depression In New Mums
There you go!
There are 3 crucial steps that can significantly reduce the risks of postnatal depression in new mums.
I dare to say that even stop it all together for once postnatal depression is not a stigma anymore, mums will be more comfortable talking about it and seek help.
How do YOU think we can help new mums speak up and stop suffering in silence?
Let me know in the comments!
