Ivana Poku If you’re expecting your first baby, you probably feel that knot in your stomach every time you think about giving birth.
That’s normal.
From the moment you find out you’re pregnant, your brain starts running wild with “what if” scenarios.
You hear horror stories, read scary birth stories online, and suddenly wonder if you’re really ready for this.
I’ve been there, and I get it.
First-time mums often have a ton of questions but feel embarrassed to ask. So, what do we do? Google.
Some of the most common searches include:
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What does childbirth feel like?
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Do you poop when you give birth?
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Is childbirth painful?
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What is the process of childbirth?
I was the same.
And here’s what I learned after my twins arrived:
Labour is the easy part.
Let me explain.
We’ve all been scared of childbirth since we were little girls – scared of the pain, the unknown.
And that fear is normal.
But the truth is: labour is just one day. (In most cases, anyway.)
What comes afer, lasts a lifetime.
Planning Your Labour: It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect
When I was pregnant with twins, I spent months planning my “perfect birth.” I had a list: hospital bag packed, nursery set up, baby essentials ready.
But life had other plans.
Our boys arrived six weeks early.
I had no hospital bag, no clue about newborn care, and still a lot of missing baby stuff.
My “perfect birth plan” ended up as an emergency c-section.
And you know what? The moment I met my babies in the delivery room, all my worries disappeared.
My only focus was that my boys were safe.
The takeaway: It’s important to prepare and educate yourself on giving birth, but keep an open mind.
Most hospitals have spare essentials, and someone – partner, friend, family – will always help.
Newborn Care: You’ll Figure It Out
Every mum worries about how to care for a newborn.
Bathing, changing nappies, holding the baby… these things feel daunting before your little one arrives.
Here’s the truth: you learn as you go.
With my twins arriving early, I had no prep time.
But within minutes, I figured out the basics.
Some things took a few months to master – and that’s completely normal!
Remember: as a new mum, you’re supposed to learn.
It’s part of the journey.
Just like you learned to walk, or anything else in life, the same goes for being a mum.
The Most Important Thing: The Postpartum Period
Here’s what most expecting mums don’t prepare for: life after the baby arrives.
There’s a huge gap in prenatal education when it comes to life after birth.
The talk about it only briefly.
They talk about postpartum depression only marginally and don’t remotely explain what it actually is, how it feels, how to prevent it, or how to recover.
Most mums don’t even recognise it when they have it!
Society also expects new mums to feel happy and in love instantly.
But that’s often not reality.
Did you know that:
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Most mums don’t feel happy in the first weeks or months of motherhood?
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It can take months (in some cases even years) to bond with your baby?
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Breastfeeding doesn’t happen naturally? That it’s a skill that needs to be taught?
The list goes on….
Knowing all of this (and more) before your baby arrives will save you a LOT of physical and emotional pain.
If you want to explore life after baby in more detaisl and discover what most mums wish they had known earlier, check our my course Happy Motherhood Journey.
Final Thoughts
So, what’s the biggest takeaway for first-time mums?
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Childbirth is manageable and it’s just one day.
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You will learn newborn care on the go.
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The real preparation is understanding the postpartum period. Life after birth is where the real challenges, and real joys, begin.
So, don’t stress the small stuff.
Focus on your wellbeing, and study postpartum life like it’s your job.
You’re not just having a baby, you’re starting a new chapter of life.
And the more prepared you are, the better you will cope with the challenges that come along the way.
If you have any questions, please feel free to drop them in the commets and I’ll answer as soon as I can.
Love,
Ivana xx
