Ivana Poku When you’re expecting a baby, everyone suddenly becomes your personal cheerleader.
“You must be over the moon!”
“You must be so happy!”
“Aww, how amazing!”
And you smile, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?
But deep down, a quiet voice whispers… “Why don’t I feel that way?”
Because even if you’ve dreamed of this moment for years, sometimes pregnancy doesn’t feel magical at all.
It feels exhausting. Messy. Emotional.
And, if we’re being honest – a little scary.
You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with me?”
You wanted this baby so much, so why aren’t you glowing with joy like everyone said you would?
And then there is physical discomfort.
You may feel nauseus, irritable, brethless, big, ugly, and uncomfortable.
Not magical at all!
I get it, because I’ve been there.
And guess what?
We’re not alone.
Most mums wouldn’t describe pregnancy as magical.
In this post, I talk about the unspoken truths of pregnancy and what it really feels like for most women – and why.
But first hello!
My name is Ivana, and I’m the founder of MumsJourney – a blog dedicated to supporting mums through every stage of their motherhood journey. I’m also the author of Motherhood: The Unspoken and an award-winning maternal mental health advocate and mentor.
After giving birth to my twins in 2016, I experienced severe PPD. It was the hardest time of my life, but it also showed me how much there is to motherhood that people don’t talk about and how many mums don’t get the support they need.
Since then, I’ve made it my mission to help other mums feel heard, supported, and less alone.
In this post, I cover:
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Why pregnancy isn’t a magical time for most women
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The emotional rollercoaster no one prepares you for
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When things might start to feel lighter – and how to cope until they do.
The Moment You Have A Positive Pregnancy Test: What It Really Feels Like
Let’s rewind to that moment – when you first see those two lines.
Personally, I’d imagined it would be like the movies.
My husband and I would fall into each other’s arms, smiling through happy tears, probably with emotional music playing in the background.
Reality? Not so much.
Even though my twins were planned and wanted, I didn’t beam with happiness.
I cried, but they weren’t happy tears.
I didn’t even know what they were.
My emotions were all over the place.
Suddenly, it was real.
I was pregnant!
It hit me like a truck and I realised just how much my life was about to change.
And it was incredibly scary.
Now I know that’s completely normal.
When you’re expecting your first baby, you’re facing a 180-degree life shift.
Of course you need time to process that.
Even when you really want the baby, it takes time to adjust to the idea of becoming a mum.
So if you didn’t have your movie moment, please, don’t feel bad.
It rarely is – if ever.
The First Trimester: Morning Sickness, Mood Swings, and Fatigue
The first trimester can be brutal.
Morning sickness (that often lasts all day), heartburn, mood swings…. and don’t even get me started on the fatigue.
I remember thinking, whoever calls this magical clearly has never been pregnant.
During my first trimester, I was nauseous almost constantly.
Everything annoyed me, especially my then boyfriend (now husband :).
I wanted to cry, run, and scream all at once.
And I didn’t even know why.
And just when you think it can’t get worse…
The Second and Third Trimester: New Physical Challenges for Expecting Mums
By the second trimester, nausea might ease off, but new struggles begin.
For me, carrying twins meant being out of breath just walking up the stairs.
I felt heavy, uncomfortable, and exhausted.
By the third trimester, I could barely sleep.
The babies pressed on my ribs every time I lay down, so the only comfortable position was standing up – not ideal when you’re desperate for rest!
I felt huge, clumsy, and, honestly, a bit useless.
I couldn’t even tie my shoelaces or cut my toenails.
And the fatigue…
It’s not just tiredness, it’s a full-body shutdown.
Like you’ve taken an overdose of sleeping pills in the middle of the day.
Pregnancy fatigue isn’t “oh, I could use a nap” tired.
It’s “I could fall asleep standing up in Tesco” tired.
The Emotional Side Of Pregnancy Nobody Talks About
Physical discomfort is one thing, but the emotional rollercoaster?
That’s another level.
When you’re expecting your first baby, it’s not just your body that’s changing.
Your mind is adjusting too.
You know your life will never be the same again, and that’s HUGE.
I remember being angry at my twins (yes, before they were even born).
Angry that I couldn’t go out or have a glass of wine anymore.
Angry that my relationship felt different. As though they were coming between my husband and I.
And then came the constant worry:
Will we have enough money?
What if I’m not a good mum?
Do we have everyting we need?
What if I forget something important?
What if …?
What if …?
What if …?
Even now, almost nine years later, I can still remember that feeling of panic.
But here’s the truth: Those thoughts don’t mean you’re ungrateful or don’t love your baby.
You’re standing on the edge of something completely new, and it’s normal to be scared.
You’re meant to be scared, to an extent.
Worrying doesn’t make you a bad mum.
It makes you… well, a mum.
Pregnancy Is Magic – But That Doesn’t Mean It Feels Magical
Pregnancy is a miracle.
It’s pure magic when you think about it – you’re literally growing a new human being.
But that doesn’t mean it feels magical.
You can be grateful and miserable at the same time.
You can love your baby and still struggle through pregnancy.
Those feelings can and do all exist together.
You’re not failing.
You’re just normal.
And if you’d like to discover more secrets about motherhood that no one talks about, check out my FREE PDF: 9 Things I Wish I Knew Before Giving Birth.
This isn’t just a list of tips you’ll find everywhere else, it’s everything I truly wish I had known from the bottom of my heart before becoming a mum.
And I’m not the only one! After nine years working with mums, I’ve seen the same things over and over: these are the truths most mums wish they’d known earlier.
Why? Because knowing them now can save you a lot of struggle, tears, confusion, and stress – and step into motherhood feeling prepared, calm, and confident.
Just like pregnancy comes with surprises no one warned you about, motherhood does too.
Antenatal classes teach you a lot about labour and birth… but almost nothing about what happens after you bring your baby home.
That’s exactly why I created this PDF – to give you the honest answers, practical tips, and little-known truths that will prepare you for the real journey of motherhood. So when the surprises come (and they will), you’ll feel confident and supported.
Click here to grab your free copy now.
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